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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 06-25-2009, 11:56 AM
Anj76 Anj76 is offline
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Red face Need advice - long

I am so glad I came across this website!! I really hope to get some advice on my situation. Here it is in a nutshell.

Married for 8 years, 2 children (ages 2 and 6), have been a stay at home more for almost 3 years. On May 15th, my husband announced that he is no longer happy, he wants out. He has no family in our area and no couches he can crash on, so apparently we have no option but to wait until I can secure f/t employment before we can physically separate. I don't really have any friends who have gone through this, I do get a lot of advice from family, but wanted advice from people who have been down this road. Here are my questions/concerns.

1 - He would prefer we draw up a separation agreement on our own, based on internet research to avoid lawyer fees. We have agreed on a lot, but I am concerned we are going to miss stuff - what do you suggest. Write an agreement and have a lawyer review and provide their opinion/suggestions?? Any ballpark figures out there on what we would expect to pay for a straight-forward agreement to be drawn up??

2- He has a pretty standard desk job, but does work o/t occasionally and receives an annual bonus, which typically adds up to $10,000 on top of his annual salary. Do you suggest going by his income tax return, line 150 to calculate support, or his base salary? His argument is that my last few Income Tax returns showed ZERO income, and for the next few years, it won't be an accurate picture of what I am really making.

3-He feels strongly against using FRO, would prefer just to deposit the $$ in my account. Would I be an idiot to allow that?? Just because he doesn't like the 'stigma' attached to it??

4 - I am hoping to keep our marital home. I am waiting to find out about a job, they have already disclosed the salary that they would be offering me...but of course, I have to buy out his share. Would I be an idiot to consider not touching his company pensions, RRSP's to lessen the buy-out?

5 - We have discussed having a shared arrangement for custody (40% with him, 60% with me). I have assumed that I would be receiving the full CCTB benefits/Universal etc. When figuring out spousal support, we took that income into consideration that i would be taking that full amount. Is this typical??? I just assumed as the lower income parent with majority of custody, I would just be receiving that additional money.

SO MANY QUESTIONS!! I am grateful to anyone who read this lengthy post and offers any advice.


Old 06-25-2009, 07:50 PM
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sufferer sufferer is offline
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Default Hii There

1) If you both can amicably agree on custodysupport and equilization of property then itsgood you save $$$.However before signing an agreement take an independent advise from a lawyer.
2)Were you a stay home mom thats why your income is zero.
3)If he is a sincere dad and you are positive that he will keep up with his support paymensts then don't involeve FRO.Fro can be included anytime though you have to pay a nominal fees of About $50 if you involve them later
4)Keeping the marital home depends upon your financialposition.
Why do you want to leave his RSP's etc.Its always good to have some extra money and just save it for your kids education.If you are compensating them in your home cost then too its a good idea.But you should be good at numbers
5)I am not sure but I think in a shared custody arrangement CCTB's etc are also shared.(6 months checks he will receive and 6 months you unless and until he agrees to it)

Its a bad situation and try to keep your calm and sanity.
Good Luck
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