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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 01-02-2020, 12:27 PM
Lost&OnMyOwn Lost&OnMyOwn is offline
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Post Med/Arb

I'm just at the point of agreeing to a med-arb process, but I am self-represented (I've already spent $100,000 in legal fees, have nothing left and virtually nothing to show for it). His lawyer is recommending med-arb, suggesting it will move things along faster and may be the only way to get my difficult ex to accept anything if it's by arbitration (even his lawyer knows mediation won't work). Can anyone direct me to a resource that will give me the step-by-step of mediation and arbitration? I have no idea how to prepare, what to say or when, what to present ... and I can't seem to find anything online. Perhaps I should be posting this in a new thread, but I'm new here and can't even figure out how to do that ... so lost
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Old 01-06-2020, 11:48 PM
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Skip the "med" part of "med-arb" and go straight to "arb". Arbitration is expensive and is a private court. Depending on the arbitration agreement it could be as complex as a trial. It is faster because you are paying the arbitrator but, costs can be awarded that include the cost of the other party's lawyer and the arbitrator.

I hate to say it but, a lawyer in private practice would LOVE to have an unrepresented litigant on the other side in arbitration. Many judges are "helpful" to unrepresented litigatns where as arbitrators won't help you at all.
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Old 01-06-2020, 11:51 PM
Lost&OnMyOwn Lost&OnMyOwn is offline
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In that light, would I just be better off to refuse med/arb or arb altogether and force a trial. If i understand correctly, I have the option of refusing

Thank you for answering
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Old 01-07-2020, 10:56 PM
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Med/Arb is not necessarily faster than going to trial. In theory itís supposed to be over and done in a matter of months. My STBX and I have been litigating for more than 8 years now. We have been involved in med/arb since 2017! He agreed to suspend court and go ahead with med/arb then it took him another year to actually sign the agreement. We allowed him to choose the arbitrator. Then he rehired his old high conflict scumbag lawyer who stalled things for another year. The arbitrator finally put his foot down and forced mediation to happen so we could proceed to arbitration which is scheduled for the spring. I actually find arbitration to be equally if not more expensive than court because the arbitrator has to be paid as well as my lawyer!
It all depends on your situation and whether your ex is skilled at dragging things out.
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Old 01-07-2020, 11:02 PM
Lost&OnMyOwn Lost&OnMyOwn is offline
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Still breathing,

That's helpful. Yes, he's a Narc who wants to drag this out forever; so, if the med/arb will allow that, then I suspect that's the plan. I'll nix it now, and just move forward towards trial. I'm a self-rep, forced after $70,000 in legal fees with virtually nothing resolved; so, if he wants to keep throwing money away, so be it.

Thank you for your input -- good luck!
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Old 01-11-2020, 08:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Skip the "med" part of "med-arb" and go straight to "arb".
Actually, I would skip both the "med" and the "arb" part of "med-arb" and just go to court.

Arbitration is pretty much just like court, except instead of the judge being paid for by the government, the judge is paid by you personally. If you are wealthy that's all fine and dandy, but for normal folks it's a little pricey to drop $40,000 on a private judge when a free judge is available.
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Old 01-11-2020, 10:19 PM
Lost&OnMyOwn Lost&OnMyOwn is offline
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Yes, I think I'm going to pass. I can't afford to throw any more money at this, especially with a narc ex who will just drag it out as long as he can considering he's holding all the cash
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Old 01-11-2020, 11:59 PM
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The advantage to arbitration over public court system are:

1. Arbitration is private. The results of the decision won't be posted to CanLII.
2. Your records for arbitration will not be part of the public record.
3. It is significantly faster than the public court system if you negotiate the arbitration agreement properly.
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Old 01-12-2020, 05:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
The advantage to arbitration over public court system are:

1. Arbitration is private. The results of the decision won't be posted to CanLII.
2. Your records for arbitration will not be part of the public record.
3. It is significantly faster than the public court system if you negotiate the arbitration agreement properly.

All of this is true. I guess it is up to you to decide if those advantages are worth the $40k. Maybe less, how much would the arbitrater generally charge in a case?
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Old 01-12-2020, 06:02 PM
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depends upon which province you are in.
In Alberta arbitration is a pretty sweet deal. I was married for 30 yrs. Contentious divorce involving business (no child custody issues). I went through BINDING arbitration. From time of separation to official divorce it was 11.5 months. Arbitration costs were minimal (judge was free and we paid our own respective lawyers). I had a good lawyer who didn't drag things out. What ended up being really expensive was the apres divorce nonsense from my ex who kept dragging me to court to try to overturn divorce. This can happen to anyone.

If you have a good lawyer who knows arbitration well (most don't) you can get through things in a relatively short period of time. I had received excellent advice prior to hiring a lawyer and made sure my lawyer kept back-and-forth letter writing to a minimum (I was kept informed throughout process and received copy of all communication as well as concise monthly bills).

Remember - with regards to your lawyer: you are driving the bus. Best to get up-to-speed on family court processes so your lawyer doesn't waste precious time/money "educating" you.
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