Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

argument against paying costs

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • argument against paying costs

    My sons ex gf has filed for permanent sole custody, cs, her lawyers costs and supervised visits at her discretion regarding time, place and duration.
    Trying to maintain good relations with all parties, as I have so far, and keep emotion out I am struggling with a few issues. Only one I will address at this time.
    Lawyer costs...the mother is on welfare and has not worked a full time job ever. She has no DL and really no desire to work. Her mother has hired a lawyer and now they are asking for costs.
    My son is representing himself as this really should be fairly straight forward but what is an appropriate response as to why he shouldn't pay her lawyers costs? Or is there any?
    He hasn't been a model dad for the past year and moved out of province, but has since moved back and wants to get his life together. He is still digging himself out of debt and by no means can afford the added expense of her lawyer. Really the mother couldn't never have afforded a lawyer...its coming from her mothers pocket.
    Their son is only two.
    Any advice on how to respond to the cost matter would be appreciated.

  • #2
    Do they agree on all matters except costs?

    Then sign an agreement on everything except costs, then go to court to determine costs. Judges rarely order costs for settled cases, since it is almost impossible to determine a "winner".

    Comment


    • #3
      if she has no job then how did she pay a retainer for her lawyer? Is it a legal aid lawyer?

      Good for you for trying to keep emotions out of it. I know it must be hard.

      She is asking for everything hoping that something will stick. Yes it doesnt look good that your son hasnt been a model parent but he can correct that by showing the court he is serious by taking parenting classes (yes he may not need it but looks good to the judge) and trying to be involved.

      She may be worried that he will pop back out of the childs life again so that may be the motive behind what she is asking for.

      Comment


      • #4
        Costs

        She didn't pay. Her mother or her mothers boyfriend did.
        That's why I'm having a hard time...and not sure what he should write in his answer as to why he shouldn't be on the hook for her costs.
        He doesn't want to sound like he's whining, especially when he knows he's a bit in the wrong here.
        If my son would have done the right thing from the start and paid cs it wouldn't have come to this.
        Now he is stepping up to the plate, but would hate to see him further in the hole with her lawyer costs.
        Just not sure how to word this.

        Comment


        • #5
          She is asking for Sole Custody and restricted access along with costs.
          He would like joint and standard access.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by stillsoyoung View Post
            She didn't pay. Her mother or her mothers boyfriend did.
            That's why I'm having a hard time...and not sure what he should write in his answer as to why he shouldn't be on the hook for her costs.
            He doesn't want to sound like he's whining, especially when he knows he's a bit in the wrong here.
            If my son would have done the right thing from the start and paid cs it wouldn't have come to this.
            Now he is stepping up to the plate, but would hate to see him further in the hole with her lawyer costs.
            Just not sure how to word this.
            I am not sure if he can do that or not. I am thinking she would have to agree that they would each by responsible for their own costs. The only way around it for him is to be reasonable and hopfully a judge sees that. Just tell him to make sure he really reads and understands anything the other side wants him to sign. I would hate to see them try to slide something past him where he agrees to pay.

            Comment


            • #7
              He can ask for costs too. Its standard. He files his response asking for what he wants and he sends an offer to settle asking for what he would probably get ordered. Then they go through the dance. When its over, they both file for costs and a judge decides.

              Comment


              • #8
                Baby mother's mother is likely pissed that she is looking at a future paying/supporting her daughter and granddaughter.

                Perhaps the best thing that you could do at this point is to have your son register with FR0 and start paying child support right away?

                By your son paying CS immediately it shows he is acknowledging his legal obligation.

                It is a first step.

                I feel for you. I'm sure you love your son. He has to do this...

                Comment


                • #9
                  He may be on the hook for it this round but moving forward try and keep it out of the courtroom. If he is really determined to turn his life around for his child's sake he needs to step up, pay his child support and do whatever it takes to get access unsupervised. Do your research, this forum and Canlii is your new best friend

                  I agree with Arabian, the other Grandma may be fronting the legal fees in hopes to avoid financially supporting this child. Why isnt she using a legal aid lawyer?

                  I am somewhat leary when I hear of parents trying to turn their lives around while a child is "waiting" for their parents to get their act together from my own experience. In the meantime, sounds like the child has 2 supportive Grandma's and that's a huge in my experience in offering this child a loving stable family environment.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Costs is a standard request in virtually every motion and is commonly misunderstood. The ex can ask for costs, but it is up to the judge to award them. A judge can decide costs aren't appropriate, or award them on a partial or full indemnity basis. So basically, the judge can award none, some or all of what they ask.


                    Whether costs are awarded is generally determined by the reasonableness of each party, and who is generally more successful at trial. If your son has made reasonable requests in his motion, and the order is similar to what he has asked, then he may get costs awarded (if he asked for them in his motion. If you don't ask, the court won't award them to you).


                    Another determination on whether costs are awarded as offers to settle. Has your son made any offers to settle? If he has, did they counter with anything? A judge will also look at offers to settle to see who made the most reasonable offer in compared to their ultimate ruling.


                    Your son should make offers to settle. If I were him, I would never agree to parenting time being at the ex's discretion. If he does agree to that, he is at the mercy of the ex and their moods. A reasonable offer would be a graduated schedule, starting with an afternoon or two on weekends and an evening or two throughout the week, moving to overnights and weekends.


                    The Every-Other-Weekend schedule (aka, daddy-screw job) is pretty much the minimum that a convict could get (so long as they weren't a murderer or child molester). Your son is unlikely to get joint custody given his choosing to not be involved for the first 2 years. But he should ask that the ex consult him and get his input on any major decision or activity of the child (even if the ex ignores it).



                    Your son will have to pay c/s and arrears for years missed. That is a given. But it is the schedule he is willing to work on that is important. Make the schedule crystal clear. Specify holidays, vacation periods, fathers day, mothers day etc. Ensure that the ex having final say is no where near the agreement though. If it ends up in there, it is just a recipe for disaster.
                    Last edited by HammerDad; 09-24-2018, 10:39 AM.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Costs are a standard request in all pleadings and motions. The only time they are not requested is when something is filed on consent. Off the top of my head, I cannot think of any reason for a party not to request them.

                      Costs do not need a specific response unless the other side has said "I want costs because of X, Y, Z actions that are specific to costs". Costs go to the winner unless someone's unreasonable or fraudulent action merits a change to this general rule.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Costs

                        Not sure how to reply to specific people but in reading all the responses I was definitely able to take away more than enough to get a better understanding and also open up new questions.
                        Thank you all for your time and thought into your answers.
                        Honestly what an amazing site for information and different opinions.

                        My husband and I have agreed to help him..only with advise and guidance.
                        He is doing the work and thankfully is wanting too now.
                        Its never too late to step up to the plate.
                        Thanks again to all...

                        Comment

                        Our Divorce Forums
                        Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                        Working...
                        X