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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 04-21-2018, 06:22 PM
Ange71727 Ange71727 is offline
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Default Step parent rights

Question: does a step parent have a right to attend a medical appointment for their step child? What if the person is the girlfriend or boyfriend of the biological parent and not actually a step parent? Can a biological parent request that the step parents are either allowed or not allowed to be there?


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Old 04-21-2018, 07:10 PM
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probably comes down to an access time thing?
If the step-parent is driving the kid to the medical appointment then it makes sense that they attend.

Perhaps the child could ask the doctor/medical professional to ask the step-parent wait in waiting room? I supposed it depends on the age of the child.

I'm speculating here...
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Old 04-21-2018, 07:18 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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make appointments when the bio parent can take the child. No sense in creating conflict when there doesnt need to be.
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Old 04-21-2018, 07:31 PM
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Default Step parent rights

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Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
make appointments when the bio parent can take the child. No sense in creating conflict when there doesnt need to be.


Bioparent 1 informed Bioparent 2 that there was a medical appointment made. Bioparent 2 then wrote back to say they would be in attendance. Bioparent 1 then responded to say that bioparent 2 “was not needed” as Bioparent 1 AND their significant other would handle it and the appointment was not made on bioparent 2’s access time. If Bioparent 2 does attend, undoubtedly they will not be turned away by the doctor no matter what bioparent 1 says, but can bioparent 1 in this case insist that their partner be there too? Or can bioparent 2 insist that only the bios should be there?




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Old 04-21-2018, 07:48 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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Interesting question, I know at my kids family Dr. I have requested that my Mom (Grandma) be allowed to attend Dr's appointments for the kids. Just makes it easier for appointments for some back up so I dont have to take the time off work.

I dont see what difference a Grandma is to a Step-Parent in making the request. Our Family Dr is fine with Grandma bringing in the kids without a parent.

My Mom has also brought our children to walk in clinics for medical care, no questions asked by Medical Staff where the parents where.
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Old 04-21-2018, 11:45 PM
Dtothree Dtothree is offline
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IÂ’m going to say it depends on what custody is my wife has sole of both children and IÂ’ve been going to meetings/doctors/sports From the the time time I meet the kids going on nine years now, one is special needs I have been to every appointment since the beginning, bio dad attended only big meetings (4 or more agencies were involved) made promises never followed the recommendations, said everything was good only had the kids 24 hours eow, didnÂ’t want more, it was offered.

Back to meetings/ appointments, if living together with children I would always wait till the bio parents were done asking questions then ask some for my own knowledge, I was always allowed in the meetings as I was in the childrenÂ’s lives day to day everyday living, and IÂ’m also the one the children will talk to in crazy time or explosive events(at one point 8 different a, I was also the one recommended to talk to bio dad, as he listened to me, that was till he got served with adjusting Cs papers, now he has not been at any meetings in 1.5 years as he does not like us.
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Old 04-22-2018, 03:02 PM
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To be honest, I would probably have internal conniptions if my ex's girlfriend showed up to the kids' medical appointments. She has no medical decision-making authority for them, and the kids don't want her knowing about these things.
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Old 04-22-2018, 04:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ange71727 View Post
Bioparent 1 informed Bioparent 2 that there was a medical appointment made. Bioparent 2 then wrote back to say they would be in attendance. Bioparent 1 then responded to say that bioparent 2 “was not needed” as Bioparent 1 AND their significant other would handle it and the appointment was not made on bioparent 2’s access time. If Bioparent 2 does attend, undoubtedly they will not be turned away by the doctor no matter what bioparent 1 says, but can bioparent 1 in this case insist that their partner be there too? Or can bioparent 2 insist that only the bios should be there?

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I can see how the above could create conflict between the parents - particularly given the language above from Bio1 - "not needed"?

Most times there could be much less conflict, if the language from both sides was chosen a little more carefully.

Frankly, I likely wouldn't have been keen on my Bio2 (ex) new partner showing up at medical appointments, but I certainly wouldn't have barred her. My preference would be the 2 bio parents, with skin in the game.

That said, I am not a stepparent (thank cheesus!), but my current partner has, of course, helped me parent the kidlet for the last 20 years. He is as much invested in the kidlet's wellbeing as I, and my ex, are. Hats off to stepparents.

btw Ange - no, I personally don't think girlfriends/boyfriends are 'stepparents'.

eta: My current partner would not attend an appointment if he felt the other Bio didn't want him there - he recognizes there are 2 primary, and always gave my ex his space as a parent.
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Last edited by mcdreamy; 04-22-2018 at 04:51 PM.
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Old 04-22-2018, 05:42 PM
Ange71727 Ange71727 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcdreamy View Post
I can see how the above could create conflict between the parents - particularly given the language above from Bio1 - "not needed"?



Most times there could be much less conflict, if the language from both sides was chosen a little more carefully.



Frankly, I likely wouldn't have been keen on my Bio2 (ex) new partner showing up at medical appointments, but I certainly wouldn't have barred her. My preference would be the 2 bio parents, with skin in the game.



That said, I am not a stepparent (thank cheesus!), but my current partner has, of course, helped me parent the kidlet for the last 20 years. He is as much invested in the kidlet's wellbeing as I, and my ex, are. Hats off to stepparents.



btw Ange - no, I personally don't think girlfriends/boyfriends are 'stepparents'.



eta: My current partner would not attend an appointment if he felt the other Bio didn't want him there - he recognizes there are 2 primary, and always gave my ex his space as a parent.


I won’t bar her either because I’m not the type to cause a scene. Plus it would be potentially uncomfortable for the kids who don’t have anything against her and want to please everyone. I know the ex is just trying to get a rise out of me. Although we’ve never actually spoken before, his girlfriend hates me and is constantly trying to one-up me or put down/discount things I have said to the kids. Hopefully she will stay in her lane at the appointment. I’m certainly not looking forward to her being there.
On the flip side, my husband, a bonafide stepparent, is not attending because he can recognize that my ex would never want him there. He’s extremely involved in many other areas of the kids’ lives and doesn’t need to step on toes to assert his parental-ness.



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Old 04-22-2018, 05:49 PM
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Ange, your ex has shown his intention to be difficult. Hes only doing this to be a dick. If his gf shows up, you can have the doc say only parents in the room. Why a gf is needed is beyond me but most of what your ex does is simply to make you nuts. Dont give him the benefit.
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