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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #11  
Old 12-06-2012, 09:13 PM
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arabian arabian is offline
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ya gotta know that it's all about money - whoever gets the kids gets the majority of child support = money
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Old 12-06-2012, 10:30 PM
dad2bandm dad2bandm is offline
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You already have received a bunch of good responses. Only thing I will reiterate is what HammerDad mentioned...and that is to document all your offers to her of proposed schedules/parenting plans...In writing...email...registered letter...etc.

If you have lawyer now make sure they know all your past offers thus far.

If she persists and sticks to her unreasonable plan...she will look exactly that when court happens. She will look the more unreasonable parent. And your lawyer should fight for costs if you offered reasonable plans from the start...which is why documenting it is important.

And keep reading these forums. :-)
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Old 12-07-2012, 07:40 AM
nogoingback nogoingback is offline
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Put your best efforts into securing the 50/50 now, through maximizing time spent with your kids , and get the ball rolling with your lawyer. If you aren't successful now, it is a long, expensive uphill battle to get to 50/50 later. By what you have described and by following previous suggestions, you would appear to have a very strong case for 50/50. As suggested, protect yourself and never lose your cool.
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Old 12-07-2012, 09:15 AM
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Also, when I mentioned not engaging her, that means do absolutely nothing that could be deemed hostile. If she wants to take the kids out of the house, don't hide her keys and don't block the door. State that you don't agree with what she is doing and send a follow up email to her. But don't do anything that may make you look controlling/abusive.

Talk/email to her like you were talking/emailing a judge/your boss/your priest. You don't have to be nice, as was mentioned, you do have to be business like. This is a transaction, one with a lot of emotional baggage, but just a transaction. Keep your emotions in check.
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Old 12-07-2012, 01:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
ya gotta know that it's all about money - whoever gets the kids gets the majority of child support = money
I don't think it's about the money at all for him.

I think I may be for her - especially because she mentioned it.

But really, CS should cover the cost of raising the kids, and having them full time and receiving CS I don't think is a financial benefit.

I have my kids half the time and pay offset CS. I would be better off financially if I never had them, paid full CS, and focused on making money.
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Old 12-07-2012, 01:11 PM
Canadaguy Canadaguy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OhMy View Post
The amount of time is not as important as the quality of the time you spend with your children.
This is true but without time you cannot establish a quality relationship. Being an access parent is not a parental realationship.

Quote:
Originally Posted by OhMy View Post
For example parent A might have the children %70 of the time, but never takes the time to sit down and play with their children. Or rarely does.

Parent 2 has the children 30% of the time but ensures most of that time is focused on the child.

Which do you think the child would benefit from or remember most?

This is true but remember the law is clear, if you do not reach 40% the financial and parental responsibilities change drastically.
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