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  • variation of support

    Hi. I would like someones opinion on this.
    My girlfriends ex-husband is taking her to court next month to try to have the child support, among other things he pays, reduced. It's currently at $300 a month for maintenance and 53% of child care, etc for the 10 year old son they had while married. Her and him agreed to this amount of support back in early 2007, although he should have actually been paying more as per the guidelines.
    Anyway, he's representing himself now as his lawyer withdrew in January after, I assume, lack of payment. The gist of what he's saying in the court papers he filed is that he is having financial difficulties paying the $300 a month and would like it reduced as his circumstances have changed and has three other kids living with him and his new wife full time (one child is hers from another relationship and two are theirs). He claims her child is now his but I don't really know if he's saying he adopted him or what. His wages are being garnished at $425 a month until he's caught up and the MEO says they'll probably keep garnishing his wages after because he had two chances to voluntarily pay before garnishment started and chose not to. He's also refusing to pay for child care now as he hasn't paid a dime since last July, but of course this isn't mentioned in the filed papers. In them he says that he shouldn't have to pay child care because his new wife said that she could look after their son before and after school and thus wouldn't have to go to a sitter (the son isn't mature enough yet to be at home by himself). This is the same wife who flies off the handle every time she see's my girlfriend. I'd love to know why they think she should be the one looking after him just to save them some money. My girlfriend and I do not live together, whereas him and his wife do and his income alone is still more than hers (my girlfriend).
    Also, he wants his arrears for support cancelled, which they claim is $500 but is actually more like $760, because he goes to school in an apprenticeship program for two months each year (although this will be coming to an end next year). He claims that this is why he's behind on his payments.
    One more thing is that he thinks his new child support payments should be based on his 2010 income (he claims his income is quite a bit lower now than when the original documents were made in 2007) and not 2011, which is at least 2K more than the previous year. My girlfriends lawyer has said that when they file they will be asking for a copy of his 2011 T4 and a pay stub from this year.
    He's also claiming that he has his son more than 40% of the time because of the current weekend schedule, which is BS. He has him 141 days a year, max.
    I don't get how he can show up in court with all this garbage and get away with it.
    What do you people think? Does he have a chance of actually getting his support payments reduced and his arrears erased?

  • #2
    A couple things I forgot to mention is that other than the two months he's in school he's working full time and my GF is the sole caregiver.

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    • #3
      40% of 365 days a year is 146 days.
      He may very well have a case there.

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      • #4
        So 40% can now be lowered down to less than 39% and still be called 40%?

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        • #5
          He could ask for 5 extra days a year, which would nullify your arguments.
          I would.
          As for babysitting his son, regardless of if his new wife limes BM or not....
          It is better to spend the time with family as opposed to daycare.
          And seeing how he has married this woman and had a child with her, they(including your GFs son) comprise a family unit.
          You're just a dude BM is with.
          This one sounds like more trouble than it's worth... You could end up getting the opposite result.

          Just sayin'.

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          • #6
            Well she won't be giving him five extra days. He's too busy doing who knows what to have/keep him the days he's supposed to. He never even made it to 130 days last calendar year.
            As for your comment about family, yes, I agree, but why should she turn her son over to a woman who freaks out whenever she's around? Just so it can save them a few bucks? Why does he have the right to dictate to her who looks after her son and if it's not who he wants he can with hold the court-ordered childcare money?
            In the filed papers he also claims that his support should be lowered because his son stays with him when we decide to go on vacation without my GF's son and as such the support amount should be factored in to this. Really? That's been taken care of as from now on he will be staying with her parents if we happen to go anywhere. At least they're not whining about money issues because of it.
            Ironically, the only reason he wasn't brought the two times in question is because of all the BS and non-stop garbage that spews from his mouth when it comes to taking him out of the country. He didn't even want her to take him to Florida in April until his lawyer told him that if it went to court a judge would order it.
            He's a real piece of work.

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            • #7
              I know its tough being in this situation, however the 5 extra days may or may not make a difference.

              Well she won't be giving him five extra days.
              To me this sounds like high conflict from your GF... saying this makes it seem like she wants to remain in control and doesn't want him to reach that 40% threshold... which I can only assume is because she wants full CS amount instead of offset amount.

              In the filed papers he also claims that his support should be lowered because his son stays with him when we decide to go on vacation without my GF's son and as such the support amount should be factored in to this
              Is this extra time that is allowing him to have 40% of the time (or close to it). If so, he may have an argument... maybe not exactly the way it is worded, but if him watching the child while you two are away is putting him at that 40% threshold he may have a claim.

              That's been taken care of as from now on he will be staying with her parents if we happen to go anywhere. At least they're not whining about money issues because of it.
              Again, seems high conflict from your GF... Dad should be having the option of having the child first... if the grandparents are watching the child just to prevent Dad from reaching that 40% threshold this will not look good on your gf.

              He could ask for 5 extra days a year, which would nullify your arguments.
              I would.
              As for babysitting his son, regardless of if his new wife limes BM or not....
              It is better to spend the time with family as opposed to daycare.
              And seeing how he has married this woman and had a child with her, they(including your GFs son) comprise a family unit.
              You're just a dude BM is with.
              This one sounds like more trouble than it's worth... You could end up getting the opposite result.

              Just sayin'.
              Agreed!

              Also want to mention, if he has had job changes or what not, he may be able to argue to go on his current income. When my Bf's stbx was trying to get an increase in CS she wanted to base it on the 3 years prior... however he lost his job before they split (plant shut down)... as much as she wanted it to be based on his past income, he only had to pay based on his present income.

              You may find you are spending more than you are hoping to gain or not to lose.

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              • #8
                Is anyone even reading what I posted? He does not have him 40% of the time, no matter what my GF thinks he should have or not. He passed on a weekend last September, for example, because he "had no time for him". A few weeks ago he brought him back at 10AM instead of 2PM on a Sunday because "he'd be busy". Even with dear old dad having him for over a week last year while we were in the Bahamas he was still short more than two weeks of 40%. He also missed his child support payment in April because he said that having his son those nine days "put his finances out of whack", which is why the MEO is handling it now.. Wow that's quite the incentive to hand over his son in this situation...
                The bottom line is that he's trying to get out of paying what he owes. Is this the first time anyone has ever brought this up here? Or what? Or is a deadbeat dad felt sorry for around these parts? Shall I bring up the fact that he agrees to pay for section 7 expenses and then backs out when it comes time to pay? Or how about him seeing a receipt she gives him after he says he wants to see it, only to deny ever seeing it in an attempt at not having to pay? The jackass even told the court he's never seen a legitimate receipt. I'm sorry. I never realized a guy who refuses to pay his childs bills would be looked at as a hero and has a case for getting his payments reduced based on a bunch of lies.
                The guy was actually decent and could be talked to until he got a girlfriend (his new wife). Since then it's been a constant disagreement about this or that, ie: his new wife doesn't want any of her mans money going to another woman.

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                • #9
                  And how is trying to use his 2010 income going on his current income? As I said he made at least $2,000 more last year than in 2010.
                  Can I go on my 1985 income when it comes to paying income tax?

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                  • #10
                    Tell you what Motorhead...how about before asking questions take some time to search the site and find the answer yourself? You don't seem to understand what everyone is saying, mostly I assume is because its not what you want to hear, but they are ALL valid points.

                    5 days is nothing to fight about, you would lose in court. Especially if your gf's attitude is anything like yours.

                    But hey... another newbie who refuses to take advice...they come here every day... I would like to see Gary comment on this thread

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                    • #11
                      people on the site do not like people (male or female) who do not live up to their support obligations. People who cause situations to become high conflict are not looked well upon either.

                      Your gf had a child with the man and they should have 50/50 custody. You have got to step back and let them work this out.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                        But hey... another newbie who refuses to take advice...they come here every day... I would like to see Gary comment on this thread
                        Pffft, Gary's just a bully.

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                        • #13
                          Matter of opinion. Everyone is a bully when one doesn't like what they hear.

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                          • #14
                            No, he's definitely a bully. See?

                            er...mayhaps I'll wait till he's finished posting.....

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                            • #15
                              Motorizer, people are answering your questions but you're just plugging your ears and saying "la-la-la-la-la" because they're not saying what you want to hear.

                              I suggest that you listen.

                              From what I've read so far it's as plain as the nose on my face that you're gf is a controlling, money-grubbing, high-conflict person. If what you've written about her is true, you'll be eaten alive in court.

                              The people in the system have seen it all, and this dynamic comes up again and again and again. It's all he-said/she-said and he's-this/she's-that but in the end it boils down to money - and this behaviour is below contemptible.

                              I feel sorry for the child(ren) ... damn

                              Cheers!

                              Gary

                              Comment

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