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  • Vaccinations

    Anyone have any tips on how to resolve a dispute on vaccinations peacefully?

    Mom is opposed to vaccinations so it will likely be a battle.

    Currently going through separation as peacefully as possible.....but this will come up after it is all done. Using a mediator at this point but it will escalate for this issue.

    Thanks
    Last edited by Acadia71; 10-06-2016, 11:24 AM. Reason: To remain more anonymous

  • #2
    Get custody and access settled, then take care of the vaccinations. The risk of being perceived as the source of conflict, and thus losing joint custody and 50/50 is too great otherwise. Sucks, but that's your likely reality.

    Also, your likelihood of failing mediation is also very high unless you give her sole custody and full table CS.

    Perhaps/hopefully you have a different experience.
    Last edited by dinkyface; 10-06-2016, 01:19 PM.

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    • #3
      I agree, be as nice as possible (not too fake though) until you get shared custody and then put her in her place (using scientific evidence). I think I have read judgements where judges endorse vaccination.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by dinkyface View Post
        Also, your likelihood of failing mediation is also very high unless you give her sole custody and full table CS.
        Why would you say this?
        She is agreeable to 50/50 custody and access so I am going to run with that. Just wondering what would make you say it will fail?
        Something I should watch out for? Or just roll with it for now?

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        • #5
          It is pretty frustrating, kids have both been sick for a month with a cough that won't go away, but we can't possibly take them to a doctor because anti-biotics are evil etc.

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          • #6
            Is she also agreeable to offset CS, ie where the higher earner pays only the difference in your respective CS table amounts? That's usually the block to agreeing on 50-50 parenting time.

            Has she spoken to a lawyer? Seems common that a lawyer will soon turn their clients' heads towards sole custody and every other weekend parenting to you.

            Scary to think of kids not having polio, tetanus, diphtheria vaccines. If they get a serious cut, dr will strongly recommend the tetanus at least.
            Last edited by dinkyface; 10-06-2016, 04:17 PM.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by dinkyface View Post
              Is she also agreeable to offset CS, ie where the higher earner pays only the difference in your respective CS table amounts? That's usually the block to agreeing on 50-50 parenting time.

              Has she spoken to a lawyer? Seems common that a lawyer will soon turn their clients' heads towards sole custody and every other weekend parenting to you.

              She has spoken to one lawyer, she is agreeable to offset CS, since she makes nothing right now and I have a very good income she won't see the issue at first.
              My shift is 7 days on 7 days off so it makes for easy shared access.

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              • #8
                Get custody sorted out. Final order from the judge etc.

                Then take the kids and get them vaccinated. She will be pissed but I doubt a judge will do much about it as it's actually,necessary if you want your chi,Daren to attend school.

                But vaccinations do not usually stop kids having the usual colds and flu. All kids get that. If you want to arm your kids with something to fight off the usual winter ills, then make sure their,diet is rich in antioxidants. Greens, blueberries and stay away from processed foods. Plus it's absolutely essential that they are getting enough sleep. Children age 5 should be in bed and asleep by 7 pm at the latest. Out playing in The fresh air as much as possible.

                Healthy living prevents a lot of these colds and flu illnesses.


                I agree antibiotics are not a good thing to pump into a child as it lowers their resisitence to bugs.

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                • #9
                  Agreed they don't cure the common cold, and doctors can over prescribe for sure, but sometimes they are necessary.
                  Her version of medicine is writing a word on a piece of paper and taping it to the kids clothes. I'm not so sure that does anything ��

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                  • #10
                    OK, so you're basically agreeing to full table CS, as you are not requesting to impute her with a reasonable income.

                    But technically it is offset, so she (and you) has a duty to disclose her NOA (Notice of Assessment from CRA) each spring. You want that, so make sure you stick to the offset wording in your agreement.

                    How do you want to handle splitting section 7 expenses i.e. daycare, major extracurricular activities, and health/dental that is not covered by an extended health plan... and university? Usually it is proportional to income but you could ask instead for some fixed % e.g. 80:20. Otherwise that will fall 100% on you if you agree that she earns no income.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Acadia71 View Post
                      Her version of medicine is writing a word on a piece of paper and taping it to the kids clothes. I'm not so sure that does anything ��
                      Sorry....what??

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                      • #12
                        I am pretty sure some parents just recently ended up convicted and I jail because they failed to provide proper medical help for their child who died.

                        Take her to task over this. I am sure in this current legal environment a parent who refuses to maintain appropriate medical treatment for a child would loose a least control over health related decisions for the children.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Beachnana View Post
                          Children age 5 should be in bed and asleep by 7 pm at the latest.
                          So parents who work a 9-5, get home by 5:30, finish dinner by 5:50, finish feeding the kid at 6:20, and then should have the kid in bed by 7?

                          You must have been one of those stay at home moms. Productive members of society can't pull that off.

                          I agree antibiotics are not a good thing to pump into a child as it lowers their resisitence to bugs.
                          Antibiotic over-prescription is a problem, but not because it lowers our resistance. For an individual, antibiotics are great. For everyone else though, it makes the bugs stronger.

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                          • #14
                            No I was not a stay at home Mom. I worked full time. Yes home by 5 pm. Dinner prepared ahead. We used the slow cooker a lot in the winter and salads prepared the night before in the summer. I was organized. What can I say! But yes, my children. All 3 of them went to bed early and were healthy children.

                            No I was not super Mom my house was messy!

                            Agree that over prescribing of antibiotics is wrong. But vaccinations are just necessary.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                              Sorry....what??
                              I kid you not!

                              I have a real mess on my hands. Never assume or hope someone will "snap out of it" because they won't.

                              Comment

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