Judge signed court order--i am free

[Northern Phoenix]

Education ...women don't always want it all

Congratulations!
You give me hope. I have 20 months into a separation.
I don't want spousal, child support or any his pension.
I do want the house I put the downpayment on with MY OWN MONEY, the house that has no equity in it cause we refinanced the day before he moved out.
I will take over our joint loan in lieu of the vehicle I bought, the mortgage and no spousal or child support or his pension.
I have the two kids with me, I support us all. I want peace for all of us.
I am the woman, the mom and the breadwinner.
So fellas....not all of us are out for your every last dollar.

[mememe]

Thank you.
Your last line...... is another one of my lessons learned in both settlement and in pre-trial. Again, this is my personal insight on my limited experience. I felt there was the perception that women want to "get" their hubbies and take them to the cleaner. When it comes to court, it must have been the woman taking the man to court.

Both woman judges began by trying to affirm a woman's feeling about being hurt in the marriage etc. et.c etc. (this was not me) and that I shouldn't go to court (which I did not want to do). They spoke first and then when I explained that for me the marriage was finished done and over and that one should keep it neutral and move on. I explained I did not want to go to court and that the only reason we had to go to court was to get this process started. I explained how I had done all that courts expected: respectful of people's time, did my paperwork accordingly, tried to avoid court, invited them to mediation, collaboration, four ways with no response from the ex. The pre-trial judge, I literally begged her to help me not go to court, and why can't the court system help!!!

I have to say that both judges responded to the "truth"...that I did not want to go to court and had done everything to avoid it.

This helped me. They saw it was not me who was wasting time, money, emotions....and I think it helped in their conversations with the ex and his lawyer.

This was not part of my "rebranding", this was my truth, and I think this truth helped.

If you are "rebranding", think about how you are being perceived now. What message did the judge give you. If it was wrong, how will you change their perception of you.

[takeontheworld]

Congratulations!
You give me hope. I have 20 months into a separation.
I don't want spousal, child support or any his pension.
I do want the house I put the downpayment on with MY OWN MONEY, the house that has no equity in it cause we refinanced the day before he moved out.
I will take over our joint loan in lieu of the vehicle I bought, the mortgage and no spousal or child support or his pension.
I have the two kids with me, I support us all. I want peace for all of us.
I am the woman, the mom and the breadwinner.
So fellas....not all of us are out for your every last dollar.

Its unfortunate that some often think that its ...men against women in divorce situations such as ss.
I was able to finally settle also, 5 days before our trial. I get no ss, no cs and all debt he had accumulated...that I had no idea of. In return I get to keep his half of the equity in the house...which I will use to pay his debt.
Lumping all the same sex into one group is very unfortnate.
At the end of the day, for me personally, the most important thing was to make the best of a crappy situation and be happy. I could not be bothered to spend the time and energy in courts.

I often wonder though if ss is awarded on merrit as some here have started or if you simply got lucky with the judge. As well all know, nothing about family court is fair.

Whichever the case for the OP, congrats to you. Hope you feel vindicated or whatever it was you were looking for.

[Links17]

You can't "NOT WANT" CS - it is the right of the child and both parents should contribute SOMETHING financially.

To the other poster about men/women.
You can generalize and say 95% when CS is paid it is man --> woman
and 95% of the time when SS is paid it is man ---> woman

That doesn't necessarily mean anything in of itself, its just the reality.

[OntarioMomma]

Congrats mememe! I can hear the elation in your post.
Enjoy your freedom and your new life!