She ain't nothing but a golddigga.

[karmaseeker]

Title not entirely true - I could call her a few other choice names too.

Update: Since she got her awarded $$$$ based on lies, non disclosure, and false information all of a sudden she is willing to negotiate without the use of lawyers.

She called as we are in negotiations to pick an assessor for custody and access, and suggests we try to find ways to save $.

We sent off proposed fair separation agreement or a choice of 5 assessors for her to pick from.

She says she will send the agreement to her lawyer to tweak.

WTF? What happened to all the accusations about how he was a terrible dad that needed to have his parental rights revoked so she could have sole?? He's spent thousands defending himself for what? A stupid selfish cash grab which has absolutely NOTHING to do with the well being of the children.

I guess we will know tomorrow what she comes back with.

The whole thing stinks. She profits from her adulterous, vindictive, retaliatory behaviour with the help of the courts. We are left with the priveledge of getting finacially raped monthly and the kids? They've served their temporary purpose of being bait for her money grabbing.

This whole system makes me want to blow my top.

DOWN WITH FAMILY COURT- No one should profit with the help of the courts for being a psychotic bitch!

KIDS ARE NOT PAWNS!

ANGRY - YOU BETCHA!

[NBDad]

Update: Since she got her awarded $$$$ based on lies, non disclosure, and false information all of a sudden she is willing to negotiate without the use of lawyers.

Lies...should be easily rebutted. Non disclosure should have been jumped on by your lawyer...and false information...well if it's false it should be provable.

What is your attorney doing to rectify this?

[karmaseeker]

This was case conference and she failed to disclose her financials or swear to an affidavit.

She threatened if you push this I will go after your pensions and more spousal. (there was a 30,000) pay out upon separation.

The judge warned our side not to open this can of worms.

She lied about not working at 2nd job. The judge believed her when she said she "volunteered" as an office clerk at a chiro clinic. Our lawyer asked for verification of this fact and the judge said you can ask for it again but I am going to go ahead and award her a 30/70 split on section 7.

All of this is false.

We are beyond broke so offered her a settlement we had shown our lawyer $10,000 ago and now all of a sudden she wants to settle everything. Even through she basically accused him of being a sexual predictor for he claim for sole custody. And f*cked around with his access all last year trying to make him lose his temper. Never happened

Basically it the the FAMILY COURT that allowed him to get completely financially ruined so that she could play a game.

I don't believe for a second he has it in him to fix the damage that is done. I don't believe the courts care and it is too big a gamble to push for trial as everyone clearly points over and over to the fact that she will win custody even if there is no cause and she is a a NUTJOB. She is a master manipulator and I am not confident enough that justice would actually result.

I'm fuming.

I've only heard of Hammerdad succeeding.

[WorkingDAD]

This was case conference and she failed to disclose her financials or swear to an affidavit.

She threatened if you push this I will go after your pensions and more spousal. (there was a 30,000) pay out upon separation.

The judge warned our side not to open this can of worms.

She lied about not working at 2nd job. The judge believed her when she said she "volunteered" as an office clerk at a chiro clinic. Our lawyer asked for verification of this fact and the judge said you can ask for it again but I am going to go ahead and award her a 30/70 split on section 7.

All of this is false.

We are beyond broke so offered her a settlement we had shown our lawyer $10,000 ago and now all of a sudden she wants to settle everything. Even through she basically accused him of being a sexual predictor for he claim for sole custody. And f*cked around with his access all last year trying to make him lose his temper. Never happened

Basically it the the FAMILY COURT that allowed him to get completely financially ruined so that she could play a game.

I don't believe for a second he has it in him to fix the damage that is done. I don't believe the courts care and it is too big a gamble to push for trial as everyone clearly points over and over to the fact that she will win custody even if there is no cause and she is a a NUTJOB. She is a master manipulator and I am not confident enough that justice would actually result.

I'm fuming.

I've only heard of Hammerdad succeeding.

Are your talking about our HummerDad? He was not in court as I know...
I just kind of lost here. You said that was case conference. But judge can not make an order on CC if you do not agree.

From you post recently I got picture that you guys lost in trial.. but not in CC

[karmaseeker]

No I was talking about how hammerdad managed by some miracle to get custody of his kids.

We are dealing with an undiagnosed severe personality disorder - problem is how do you prove someone is crazy when they twist things around to the point where life truly is insane for everyone?

I honestly don't know up from down these days on the best course of action because she is unpredictable, uncooperative and very malicious.

So we are trying to out play a crazy person and not succeeding.

We have not been to trial although it clearly looks like we are heading there.

At CC she was given the benefit of doubt and as she never spoke (only her swift talking lawyer) there were orders made over child support and section 7. Our points were disregarded and her failure to submit any documentation didn't seem to matter.

[WorkingDAD]

No I was talking about how hammerdad managed by some miracle to get custody of his kids.

We are dealing with an undiagnosed severe personality disorder - problem is how do you prove someone is crazy when they twist things around to the point where life truly is insane for everyone?

I honestly don't know up from down these days on the best course of action because she is unpredictable, uncooperative and very malicious.

So we are trying to out play a crazy person and not succeeding.

We have not been to trial although it clearly looks like we are heading there.

At CC she was given the benefit of doubt and as she never spoke (only her swift talking lawyer) there were orders made over child support and section 7. Our points were disregarded and her failure to submit any documentation didn't seem to matter.

I still do not understand how you get order on CC when you not agree?
I meant when I was on CC judge only recommend and we sign some minutes of settlement...

[karmaseeker]

A Judge can make orders if a judge wants to make orders. In his orders he also made another order for there to be an request for disclosure. ??

So basically this means if someone wants to be an ass and not do anything an opposing counsel asks for for 6 months - like a completed disclosure - they don't have to. Then they go to CC and judge says you can now ask again - this time it will be an official request and you need to give a reason why you don't honour the request.

End result - a hell of a lot more back and forth and legal costs for still NO DISCLOSURE!

Now we go back into the waiting game...


She took our proposal and changed it to her hearts content so we said no that wasn't the offer - you'd better pick the assessor off our list as you are now in contempt of court as this was supposed to be done 2 days ago.

So now we again go back to getting an assessment done for custody and access - even though it looks like she is playing games to get out of paying for it.

Then Settlement conference in oct.

It is a head fry.

The kids are so messed up.


Do you remember that movie with Brad Pitt - the twelve monkeys? (I think)

This is my life. - I need to go watch that movie again.

That's what I'll do tonight.

[wretchedotis]

Kanye West - Gold Digger ft. Jamie Foxx - YouTube

[torontonian]

>>wretchedotis: BRILLIANT!! LOL

[Lorac]

Good Morning Karma,

I'm so sorry to hear how bad everything is going for the both of you. I just finished my second Case Conference last Wednesday. At the first one we had a circuit Judge, I called him a "circus Judge". He awarded my STBX everything he wanted and like you, he wouldn't even hear anything we had to say on our side...why...because my X has MS. My X claimed he has been totally disabled since 2003...yet he still hunts, fishes, drives, walks, mows the lawn, snowblows in the Winter and still smokes a pack a day. My lawyer asked for a letter from his physician stating he was "totally" disabled but the judge said "as far as I'm concerned his MS is proof enough. He just made the order and dismissed us. We were not even in court for more than 10 minutes and it was all over. My X turned to me and give me the biggest smirk he could muster.
Moving forward...my lawyer called me and said she wanted to go back to court. We would not be getting the same judge because they were all back from holidays and this particular judge would no longer be needed. She said our own "Family Law Judges" were back and that we should go back. I agreed. My lawyer sent X's lawyer a new brief stating that she was also going after "occupational rent" from my X. He wrote back and threatened if we did then my X would be going after SS since December of 2010.
I had one good thing going for me...we both hunted together. I gathered every picture I could of our 2010 hunt. I have photos of him climbing tree stands, putting up our big deer blind tent, carrying it on his back, him walking through fields, through creeks, smoking up a storm you name it. While I have never denied he has MS it is so mild it does not stop him from doing anything and he's had it for 15 years. He is an only child and his mom feeds him money constantly. She has bought him his new truck "Avalanche" paid cash, gives him pocket money continuously throughout our marriage and many other things I won't go into. Yes, he is her only child but he is so co-dependent on her that he would not even try to contribute to the family because he had no need too. None of the money she provided him came into the house it only remained with him. I have 4 sons and when each of them married they became one and no monies ever went to just my son it always went to the family. Anyway getting off topic.

When we went back to court last Wednesday and had a "Family Judge" what a difference. He actually told my X, while I acknowledge that you are 61 years old and your mother still supports you, this has no bearing on this case. This is your inheritance you are spending. The judge asked me if I could put him back on my Health Plan and I said yes. It cost me $1,300 to put him back on and my plan jumped from $71 a month to $206 a month. My X's lawyer argued that he was applying for Trillium and again the judge said "if he thinks he will get more out of Trillium then he will out of a personal health plan he's very much mistaken. Then he said both of you are seniors and neither one of you has any money to speak of. My X was going after $600 a month and the judge awarded him $144 a month. He then told my X that when I turn 65 all SS will stop completly because I will loose approx $900 from my pension as the bridging and transition will cease. Oh ya, also he has to pay me occupational rent because I had been paying for the mortgage, insurance, and taxes from our home since December until the house was sold in June. I don't begrudge my X the SS and the health plan but it was his greed that blew it for him. He knew there was no way I would ever be able to pay him that amount I would of had to go on welfare. He's angry because I left, he's called the police on me three times, he's said I threatened to kill him, he's gone to everyone he knows and says I'm unstable, I do drugs, I'm crazy yada yada. That's fine, I don't retaliate in any way shape or form. Now I have people coming up to me and saying "what hell is the matter with A.....? In my case patience is a virtue and silence is golden.
Sorry this is so long,

[Pursuinghappiness]

Hi Lorac:

I've noticed a few people on this forum talking about having to go to divorce court against someone with a disability and I've always wondered if that was difficult as it may bias the judge to feel sorry for the one party instead of dealing with the issues. Obviously it is.

I'm really glad to see you get through this and come out with a fair deal.

Just yet another example that women have as difficult a time as men doing in divorce court and have to fight for their rights to a fair agreement.

[Lorac]

Thank you Pursuing,

It's been a long road and I don't feel as I have won or he has lost. It is a fair ruling and I'm fine with that. I am more upset about all the rumours he is spreading about me. After a 34 year marriage his bashing me is so uncalled for. It's my children that I feel bad for because the people that know both my X and I also know our children and he is not only hurting me he is hurting them and for this I will never be able to forgive him. I would expect this kind of behaviour from someone who is young but not from a 62 year old parent.

Thanks P
L.

[fireweb13]

Hi Lorac:

I've noticed a few people on this forum talking about having to go to divorce court against someone with a disability and I've always wondered if that was difficult as it may bias the judge to feel sorry for the one party instead of dealing with the issues. Obviously it is.

I had to laugh, I think most of us have this problem but it is just not diagnosed.
I believe that anyone going through court with an ex that is holding onto the past, or just wants to cut all ties with their childrens other parent will have trouble. In alot of ways the courts are biased, but that does not mean that Woman all have it easy.

[Pursuinghappiness]

Lorac:

There was another thread on here discussing how one spouse often lies and badmouths the other in an attempt to alienate them and "win" all the acquaintances, friends, family, kids.

Its happening to me too...luckily, I have longterm friends that were mine before marriage who know me well, my family is amazing and my kids seem to be dealing with it ok so far. The other people, I guess I just don't care as much about.

I think that's it yet another huge tragedy of divorce that one person ends up in such bitterness and anger that they engage in this stuff and that so many people fall for it.

In the end though, time does pass...other people get divorced...things move along. I think people eventually get tired of the one-sided crap slinging and start seeing through it a bit. I know that's no consolation now but hang in there, hold your head up high and congratulations again on a fair settlement.

[Pursuinghappiness]

LOL Fire:

I meant "physical" disability...I agree, everyone going through family court has mental disabilities...if they didn't start with them, they get them while going through a nasty divorce.

I agree with your post...that's why I get tired of the angry ranting about women getting it all in court. Its generally complete crap. I just ignore that stuff here..its an immature, simple-minded response to a far more complex problem.

What actually happens is that the court isn't sophisticated or regimented enough to deal with liars, crap-slingers and procrastinators. The process is actually designed so that defending yourself against that nonsense is so crippling and cost-prohibitive that you literally give up. Its not gender specific at all and I really have to question the motives and mental state of anyone making those types of statements.

Like you said, no one..male or female....has an easy road dealing with an angry, bitter ex that won't let go. And family court gives them a forum for their lunacy to get rewarded.