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  • #31
    I counted, he has each second weekend with 3 overnights and each Wed 4 hours but we wrote out agreement so that in a year each wed will become overnight. In summer he has 2 weeks, all other holidays split 50/50. I counted excluding driving time and time he loses because of transportation on the weekends, If I drive one week and he drives one week per month or we split the distance or whatever we decide so child sees father two weeks per month and if I give 6 out of 8 weeks in summer and longs weekends like easter 2 out of 3, same with thanksgiving, more or less it all equals hours he has now. 3 out of 4 weekends I don't like because child needs to spend some weekends at home as school progresses, he will need to focus on homework, etc , I think giving more time in summer is better for my kid, I want to focus on his education and him to be successful. of course, worst comes to worst, I would give up all summer and 3 weekends out of 4 but I don't think this is so reasonable. Now we live in same town with child's father and still judge did not give him more access than what father got as described, and judge even told father on brink of trial that "mother was pretty generous with access" and did not encourage him to proceed with trial. Also, father wanted in our settlement agreement a clause that child can't visit US, he knew about my bf , and judge was angry and told him that it is ok to drive if mom sees a boyfriend,jugde felt she did not want to make my life difficult and said if i want to take a child during visits, it is fine and we settled it and I have clause where child can visit that state anytime with me without father's permission, but obviously only visit. )With all that being said, I took him there only 2 times and only go there when my child is not with me. When my child is with me, my fiance comes and we spend time here together.
    I am talking about past case for custody battle right now, not about future one coming up which is a reason I opened this thread....but some thoughts of the judge through my previous case gave me understanding that they count my life of a young woman too and link child's needs and my needs to each other as we are so close and interdependent.

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by Tatyana K View Post
      Hello,

      Berner Faith, thank you for your post.
      I understand that it might be a difficult battle but this is how I view pluses and minuses of relocation for the child.
      Pluses:
      1. Stable Family Unit.
      If my child is to live in a stable loving family, this is beneficial for him. I have noticed how much he was changing when we all spent quality time together during vacation as a family with my son, my fiancée and myself. He was very happy.
      2. Sibling. We would like to have at least one more child to make a real family, having a sibling would be great for my son, living in a family and have sister or brother.
      3. Even though my personal life is my life, because I have sole custody and because child resides with me, how I feel, how happy or unhappy I am in my life, it all makes impact on my child. Being loved and be happy in relationship with someone who also loves me back and is very reliable and supportive in life is good for me and as extension is good for my son. When his mom feels secure and happy and does not have to work two jobs to survive but rather spends more time with her child, this would make my son happier, I have no doubt about it.
      4. Financial situation. I currently live with my parents and this is the only reason we all live in a house, I help them, they help me, house is not paid out, so nothing to inherit for me…there is no way I could afford having even townhouse with prices in my town and my salary. I have mediocre salary and debts from previous legal proceedings. If I was to live on my own it would be some apartment not in the best neighbourhood. My fiancé has job for life and it is well paid, he wants to sponsor us and take financial responsibility for us when we move. My chances of finding job there are similar to what I have here, salary should be similar too. I minimum would triple family income (If I get job in US) compare to what I have here now by myself. And this is situation right now. I think my fiance’s career will go up the hill and his financial situation will only get better in the further years.
      5. Accomodations: My fiancé plans to buy a house when we get out of litigation and count what we have left, as soon as we can afford a house, we will be getting a property to own and live in it.
      6. Education: school that my kid goes to is assigned to a place where he lives now, it is scored 6.5 out of 10. That town in US where we want to live has some of the best public school in whole of US, they all have high rating and for sure higher than what my son gets here. My town has lots of activities for kids but new place has same choice of extracurricular activities.
      Higher education: as resident of US my child could go to one of prestigious Universities in new town where we want to move with discounted rates which apply to local residents. HE would also have a choice of going back to Canada for higher education, if he decides so. He will have US residency card but also Canadian citizenship.
      My fiancé graduated from Harvard University and he is a highly educated person. He is a young very promising scientist with lots of awards for his age. I am sure that his career is only starting to go up the hill and bright future awaits him. He is oriented towards providing good education to children and he will help me in giving it to my son be it educational fund to be started or staying home doing homework each evening. I know he will be dedicated this way. Each single evening he spend with my son, he reads and teaches him math rather than turning on TV with cartoons.

      11. Healthcare in US can be challenging but University insurance is good, so on average this is same level as in Canada, we will just need to pay for insurance which my fiancée would.
      12. Crime rate: same as where I live now

      13. Additional help: my fiancés parents are already moving to his town for retirement, they come from California. They want to spend their retirement in one town with us and live close by, they want to help us with raising my son and hopefully the other child that we will have. So, we have extra two pairs of hands in new o’\l2/wn. My son knows them and calls them grandpa and grandma too.
      14. Blood relatives: my son does not have any other blood relative from father’s side in my current town other than father himself.
      13. Access: I counted, what my son’s father has now in terms of access I can return back by agreeing on driving each second weekend or sharing the distance or maybe driving once a month and the other time father will come and live over the weekend in our new town and spend time with his son. Also, I am ready to give most of summer holidays to father and maybe 2 out of 3 long weekends like Thanksgiving, Easter, etc. This is all discussable as well as father is welcome to come anytime to new place to visit outside regular agreement. It is 4 hour distance and it does not require flight or train. My son’s father is flexible as he owns his business and works when he wants. He is not scheduled Monday-Friday.
      Minuses I see in this situation: father will be deprived of frequency of access that he has now, it is either weekly one week or each second week it is twice a week – this is the current situation. However, yearly amount of access will remain the same and also skype and phone will be encouraged.
      Other minus: my son won’t have as much communication with his cousins and grandparents but again all of my family plans frequent visits and my parents plan extended visits as they retire in a couple of years and come to visit us for a month or two. It is only 4 hours away.

      In addition some general facts: father of the child did not pay Section 7 expenses for the whole year even though order issued a year ago asked him to share them with me. I don’t think it looks good in eyes of the judge when it comes to child’s interests.

      I take good care of my child as custodial parents, I found best doctors for him, always go for appointments when he is sick, I take him to activities 3-4 times a week, and he is progressing in different sports and other activities and I pay for it all myself. I attend school meetings, etc and know what is going on in my child’s life very well.

      Conclusion: I understand that judge will be waiting pluses and minuses and will try to figure out the better outcome for the child but life is long, and I don’t think that judge will want a miserable mother getting into her 40s, single, with small income, struggling through this life being locked in this town and by extension child will feel it and this will make an impact on him too, the alternative is much better and still can offer good connection of son and his father and a good life for a little boy in the other place, where we can help him to build a much better stable secure future where all important people in his life will still remain.

      Berner_Faith, you mentioned a motion. Do you say relocation issue is just one motion? I don’t understand the structure of this procedure. When I do a motion to relocate, would it be again, motion, then some other possible motion from father’s side, settlement, settlement #2, trial conference, trial (I obviously know father won’t give up to the end, as he does care about hi legal bills AT ALL. Even if his lawyer tells him he has very little chance, he will pursue to the end).

      Or (if father keeps opposing the move), it could be only several meetings in court and something like hearing of both side with maximum evidence and facts and maybe my fiancée showing up too and then judge’s decision in the end.

      Or would it again lead to trial if father keeps opposing and this is the only option? No one so far was able to give me a clear answer and I researched this topic.
      If you and your ex (who is, by the sounds of it, funded by family) will end up in a trial. I suspect it will take upwards of 2 years before you get to trial. You will make a motion. Your ex will answer and probably make a cross motion. You will attend many case conferences, settlement conferences and then trial management conferences (if either of you are unreasonable).

      In short, you will have to have a well-stocked war chest to proceed. There was an article that the owner of this forum (a lawyer) posted yesterday about how self-represented individuals are increasingly being hit with costs. You should read that article/post. I am waiting for the actual court case to be put on CanLii.

      I would recommend that you read as much as possible on previous mobility cases. You should probably find good legal counsel. There is much information on this forum regarding how to find a good lawyer for you to peruse.

      Like anything else, you have to do the research !

      Comment


      • #33
        If you have sole custody and you filed a motion to relocate it would likely be approved based on what you have said

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        • #34
          thanks for replies. Arabian, this is what happened last time, battle for custody and child support with lots of financial disclosure motions and cross-motions took 2.5 years on brink of trial we signed agreement. He was not cooperative. I offered what he got in the end almost at the very beginning. I know for sure he will oppose to the end this time too and no settlement will settle the case as he will say NO to relocate even if I offer 3 weekends that I deliver child here , I am more curious about what it depends on whether it will be this whole process with motions, several settlements and pre-trial and trial versus just a motion and hearing and only 3-4 meetings in court and judge's decision in the end. Is trial inevitable in case where other parent never agree?

          Yes, I read that article about self-represented..and I read relocation cases, but thanks for links, I did not know about that website you gave me. I am trying to educate myself and I still can't understand how this relocation process in ontario proceeds if other parents always say no to relocate. it necessarily ends in trial?

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          • #35
            Relocation case - what the process is like?

            Originally posted by Links17 View Post
            If you have sole custody and you filed a motion to relocate it would likely be approved based on what you have said


            Not necessarily

            What is going to happen to the mid week visits if there is a 4 hour drive?

            Unless she offers 3-4 weeks at least every other month and most of the summer , father will not agree with the reduction in access

            Don't bother ringing up past issues prior to original settlement. It starts with final order and that order is deemed correct. The trial judge will be a different judge. Don't fall for judges opinions. Two judges may recommend one thing and a 3rd judge will rule the complete opposite.

            He could also obtain custody that child stay with me. The child has friends and is used to the community.


            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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            • #36
              If you live in Ontario you can count on endless case conferences etc. ... big there on those. Your best defense is to look for ways to settle. A good lawyer will get you sending out formal offers to settle right out of the gate and plenty thereafter.

              Judges put weight on court of appeal cases. I'd recommend narrowing your issues and then plugging the words into the top search. After you do it for a while you'll get the hang of it. People on here can offer suggestions as well. Before I joined this forum I had absolutely no idea that CanLii existed. For that info I am eternally grateful to the forum.

              Some people on here have good experience. Most of us are pretty opinionated. You just have to wade through things and not take everything personally (very hard).

              Thanks for sharing with us.

              Comment


              • #37
                hi Arabian, what this means that judges put lots of weight on court of appeal cases? Sorry just uneducated this way.

                I obviously will try to settle from the very start giving reasonable offers but I know 100 % unless judge says yes to relocate at some stage or at trial, he will keep suing. So, yes, might be very painful again and lengthy too. will be reading a lot before we initiate it all.

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                • #38
                  trinton, father won't agree to anything, this is for a fact. I can offer 2 weekends each month and most of summer and most of long weekends to compensate mid week access. I just wonder how much of a chance I have to succeed and how long it can take, through trial only if case of father always opposing,

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by Tatyana K View Post
                    trinton, father won't agree to anything, this is for a fact. I can offer 2 weekends each month and most of summer and most of long weekends to compensate mid week access. I just wonder how much of a chance I have to succeed and how long it can take, through trial only if case of father always opposing,
                    90% chance to succeed.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      thanks for giving hope!

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                      • #41
                        Originally posted by trinton View Post
                        Not necessarily

                        What is going to happen to the mid week visits if there is a 4 hour drive?

                        Unless she offers 3-4 weeks at least every other month and most of the summer , father will not agree with the reduction in access

                        Don't bother ringing up past issues prior to original settlement. It starts with final order and that order is deemed correct. The trial judge will be a different judge. Don't fall for judges opinions. Two judges may recommend one thing and a 3rd judge will rule the complete opposite.

                        He could also obtain custody that child stay with me. The child has friends and is used to the community.


                        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                        In shared custody situations things like community, friends etc.... are a factor.

                        In sole custody situations basically the presumption is that the move is APPROVED unless there is some extenuating circumstance.

                        The fact she is offering additional access with further cement the certitude.

                        I've assessed the case law here. Unless the mom is a tramp following boyfriend number 16, the judge will always approve a sole custody child relocation.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by Links17 View Post
                          90% chance to succeed.
                          Doubt it. Sounds like dad's been fighting the good battle for about 2.5 years and may know his way around the courtroom. I bet he has some great arguments and materials also. Kid's doing fine here (her words) and dad's around looking for more parenting time .. probably with a stellar plan and great reasons of his own....including a very flexible schedule (her words) to parent, which will also work in his favor.

                          Are we to assume the child has no friends, community connections, etc here? Give me a break.
                          Last edited by LovingFather32; 11-03-2016, 10:58 PM.

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                          • #43
                            with all that, dad tries to reduce his income, does not pay section 7 as per court order, wanted to pay from 30 K salary when old case started and then financial disclosure found a company on BVI that he owns which kept over a million dollars. he Was not in child's life until child was 2 y.o.has never seen me pregnant. teaches the child that my fiancee is weak and he is strong and asks the child to call some woman he lives with now his "mama". While I never ask my fiancee to be called" dad". I hate this father but never speak badly about him with my child.

                            Dad only has money but I don't see legal grounds for a court to say no to me. Judge was mad that father brought a motion against me for more access and reduction of child support only 9 months after final agreement was signed,it is wip, but I think I will win those motions. I am going to court again now on those.

                            I think he just wants to sue me until I die and take the child.

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              in regards to community, my child is very social and makes friends easily

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                              • #45
                                Dad only has money but I don't see legal grounds for a court to say no to me.
                                Dad doesn't only have money. He also has a heart, a child he wants to see more ... and probably a great plan.

                                I hate this father but never speak badly about him with my child.
                                I'm learning more and more. Really? 90% Links?
                                in regards to community, my child is very social and makes friends easily
                                That's great that your child has shown you how friendly he is and how many friends he makes here. Don't make the mistake of tearing him away from them.
                                Last edited by LovingFather32; 11-03-2016, 11:08 PM.

                                Comment

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