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  • Kids with keys

    My kids are 16, 15, 13 & 11. I go to university, so sometimes I am not here when they get home from school. I had been leaving a key in a hidden place in the garage so they could let themselves into the house when they needed to. However, this weekend we were gone and I discovered that my stbxh let himself into MY house (which he has never ever lived in, we both moved out of the family home) to look for something.

    Should I get keys cut for my kids and have them carry them? I have been a stay at home mum previous to this, so I have no idea if this is a wise idea or not.

  • #2
    Of course you should, or find a better hiding place and tell your kids not to divulge it's location.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
      Of course you should, or find a better hiding place and tell your kids not to divulge it's location.
      Agreed.... just because you know where the key is hidden, does not mean that you have permission to enter.

      That was an unacceptable invasion of your home and privacy. Common sense tells me that I wouldn't want my ex wandering around in my home without my knowledge or permission....

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Adelweiss View Post
        My kids are 16, 15, 13 & 11.

        Should I get keys cut for my kids and have them carry them?
        The kids are definitely old enough to carry their own key, and to understand that they should not lend them to their father or tell him where the emergency key is stashed....

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        • #5
          You should have called the police immediately and made a report.

          You would have had the option to not press charges, or drop them later, but you want the report on file if he does anything else later.

          Unless one of your children gave him specific permission to enter (just mentioning the key doesn't count) he has committed break and enter.

          You don't have to "break" anything to break and enter.

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          • #6
            I used to carry my own key as a child. many kids do. trust your kids, and don't risk anything you can't afford to risk.

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            • #7
              I'd say get them their own keys, thay're old enough. I would never tell the kids to hide anything or keep secrets from their father, especially if he's asking them. That just puts them in the middle and creates a feeling of anxiety for them when they're put on the spot. They shouldn't feel they have to choose between what one parent tells them to do and the other parent asking.

              I know it's not right that he entered your house without your permission however I'd keep the kids out of the middle and deal with it between the two of you, and like Mess said, get the police involved if necessary. I'd also change the locks and have new keys made for the kids to carry, who knows if he copied the key while he had it.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Adelweiss View Post
                My kids are 16, 15, 13 & 11. I go to university, so sometimes I am not here when they get home from school. I had been leaving a key in a hidden place in the garage so they could let themselves into the house when they needed to. However, this weekend we were gone and I discovered that my stbxh let himself into MY house (which he has never ever lived in, we both moved out of the family home) to look for something.

                Should I get keys cut for my kids and have them carry them? I have been a stay at home mum previous to this, so I have no idea if this is a wise idea or not.
                I am curious what the ex said about it when you talked to him about it? Also, what was he looking for?

                Mess suggests calling the police, but that may be over the top given what actually happened...

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                • #9
                  What he did was break and enter. Like I say, you would have the option of not pressing charges or dropping them, but you would have a police report on file if he ever did anything like that again.

                  Since this wasn't ever his residence in the past, or ever the matrimonial home, he has no business whatsoever in this building. This is a criminal code offence. I don't think it's the least bit over the top to call police, going by what the OP wrote, but yes there may be more to the story (like the kids told him he go in and get something from their rooms, etc but even so any sane person would call their ex to tell them).

                  Comment

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