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FRO - Please can I get the good vs well, bad???

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  • FRO - Please can I get the good vs well, bad???

    Ok I admit that with all the BS, lies, arrest, more lies and well I just put into my head that if I never? Then I think one day, far far away we can actually come to adult terms with whatever is decided one way or another and actually stop the - stop all of it. Then again there is a pattern that perhaps the experience of a few people who may just say that in judging what really is a one sided description (mine) of "the BS" over the last 18 months - FRO is the way to leave it. I was told today I need to decide tomorrow (been two weeks since the motion for SS.

    Now the court is doing the FRO route automatically. Naturally my ex is pleading for me to accept post date checks (something, for very practical reasons, I do not really like - am I right in understanding that the FRO will do the electronic deposits fairly regular once it is going??? This I assume that the payor is regular. If I should be lucky in terms of yearly updates etc., and unlike a few people here, who end up in court over and over for this -- I am getting to far ahead I know.

    So today it is, To FRO or not to FRO that is today's delemma.

  • #2
    Go with FRO....may be a turn around period to get it processed, dont think about today...think about the years to come.
    FRO is regular and when there is an issue they will help...and as a great lady suggested to me the other day and I followed through....if you have trouble with FRO you can call your MPPs office...my situation of last Friday was magically resolved and I got my support today......

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    • #3
      Publicly-funded agency mandated to steal money from your ex and give it to you?

      Why on earth would you say no?

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      • #4
        Go FRO Go!!

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        • #5
          WOW not stealing....ensuring support....without games....my ex when he used to pay me directly would say it is the first all day long...while we had no groceries etc...and transfer the funds 1 minute before midnight....my boys are older now..but then a game he played...

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          • #6
            All things being equal, if the CS is paid on time anyways - FRO won't matter.

            It's just a bit of a slap in the face to those that make a point of paying, as opposed to those that try to dodge the responsability.

            It gets paid either way, right?

            So whatever.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by cynthia10 View Post
              WOW not stealing....ensuring support....without games....my ex when he used to pay me directly would say it is the first all day long...while we had no groceries etc...and transfer the funds 1 minute before midnight....my boys are older now..but then a game he played...
              Maybe he didn't have the total amount until the first of the month. Which is a 'typical' pay day for the salaried.

              Maybe he had automatic payment set up t his bank and the 'one minute before midnight' thing was a result.

              Maybe not everything is an effort to hurt you.

              Maybe it is, I can't say. I wasn't there.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by wretchedotis View Post
                All things being equal, if the CS is paid on time anyways - FRO won't matter.

                It's just a bit of a slap in the face to those that make a point of paying, as opposed to those that try to dodge the responsability.

                It gets paid either way, right?

                So whatever.
                I will also say from a man's perspective - it can be a little 'off-putting' that a government agency is now in direct control of a portion of you pay cheque.

                Most men, myself included, would resist this concept.

                I would like to believe that if my fortunes declined, I could approach my ex and reduce my CS in a fair manner.

                FRO allows the same opportunity, but not until the Order is actually changed. So the iterim period of legal wrangling could be devestating to the payor.

                Just my opinion....

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                • #9
                  Well my darling ex doesn't do anything unless he's forced to, and even then it's iffy. Wouldn't matter how much $ he had in the bank or otherwise available. FRO is a lifesaver in my case.

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                  • #10
                    I got along very well with my ex in the beginning...like brother and sister...I bought him out of the MAT home despite the fact that I was a stay at home mom for 9 years...I asked for nothing but proper child support, no pension no RRSP....just clean and fair....
                    Then he met trailer trash Chicky 10 years young 3 kids 2 different dads.and then they had a kid.
                    Came after my 2nd house claiming we had reconciled, meanwhile I had let him rent the basement while he was in BANKRUPTCY....all that worked out in my favour....but he still hides income.....and lies.....so my dear you sound very honorable as I thought my EX was...but life changes.....my boys are 18 and 14...and now after all that he is still taking me to court to get access to the 14 year old..who loves him but wants nothing to do with the NEW family...and the EX keeps making it about that new family which BTW lied to my sons about for years...I am babbling sorry always go with FRO

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                    • #11
                      Betcha TT Chicky is Pro-FRO too

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                      • #12
                        FRO is nothing but good for receiving spouses, if they can tolerate the delay in being paid until the creases smooth out.

                        If you're a paying spouse, however... it's not good news. The only way in which it's good to payors is avoiding harassment from the ex.

                        And as I hear from a lot of my colleagues who've had to deal with FRO, quite often payors end up overpaying, especially for children, when kids either reach the age of 18 or finish school. This is because FRO won't stop coming after you for payments until they have a revised court order in their hands to stop payment. One of my colleagues ended up overpaying by $4,000 after he wasn't supposed to be paying child support anymore. He had to pay to go back to court to ask for that money back, because FRO certainly won't get it for you. And he's still waiting for a result. This is typical from what I understand. Payors beware.

                        But that's also something important for receiving spouses to keep in mind.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by wretchedotis View Post
                          I will also say from a man's perspective - it can be a little 'off-putting' that a government agency is now in direct control of a portion of you pay cheque.

                          Most men, myself included, would resist this concept.

                          I would like to believe that if my fortunes declined, I could approach my ex and reduce my CS in a fair manner.

                          FRO allows the same opportunity, but not until the Order is actually changed. So the iterim period of legal wrangling could be devestating to the payor.

                          Just my opinion....
                          I know some men that LOVE going through FRO. If their fortunes have changed, they first contacted FRO then immediately brought it before the courts. Never had an issue. Yes, if you contact FRO first, they will tell you to get a court order, but they will NOT go after your license, or any other means, unless you have not been reasonable in YOUR time frame of going to court. Also, because FRO does take such a long time in updating their support system (they have so many!), when the new order has been made, they have called FRO, so FRO knows to extend taking any action against you further, as FRO knows it could take 6 weeks for it to even come in from the courthouse. FRO is not a bad agency at all. Yes, your arrears will add up, BUT, once the new order comes in most, if not all will be rescinded depending on what happened during your court appearance.

                          As for the comment of the payor being down on his luck and still being wiped clean from FRO- that doesn't make sense, as at any one given time FRO is legally NOT allowed to take more than 50% of your pay. Ever wonder what it is like for the receiver when all of a sudden nothing comes in?
                          There will never be a completely fair system, so we kind of have to work with what is out there, and as long as everyone communicates with everyone they have to appropriately, then really, it is not all that bad.
                          Go with FRO.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by madm82 View Post
                            Ever wonder what it is like for the receiver when all of a sudden nothing comes in?
                            That sounds pretty traumatic. Receiver might have to actually get a job and provide for herself, like most of the adult population.

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                            • #15
                              Quote by Janus "Publicly-funded agency mandated to steal money from your ex and give it to you?"

                              ^ a little extreme, don't you think, or am I picking up correctly that you are just being facetious?

                              My ex's arrears w/FRO are over 40k - the debt I'm in b/c of his bankruptcy bs (he lives quite well) is close to 200k. Let's do the math. Funny how the same answer keeps coming up; that I am royally screwed. The best part is (the kicker) that it is ALL due to complete fraud and lies (too many to count).

                              I'd like to think that there are not too many instances of ppl (men or women) getting screwed over like I have been - but when it comes to my ex and FRO, I say "have at him." He is not deservng of any mercy.

                              Edit: yes, it IS traumatic..
                              Last edited by hadenough; 12-21-2012, 01:17 PM.

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