distance and custody access...

[jlalex]

I'm looking for some input..hubby is to submit a 'wish' list for access of his child. We live in the Toronto area and the child resides in the Ottawa area. I'm wondering what is typically the arrangement when there is significant distance involved.

Is there some kind of guideline or precedents on how access is is usually determined? Anyone who is dealing with this, or knows someone who is dealing with this I'd more than welcome your input..although this is supposed to be a 'wish' list, we would like to be able to bring something reasonable to the table so as to not prolong any kind of negotiations.

Thanks in advance!

[logicalvelocity]

jlalex,

Generally, the commute between Ottawa and Toronto would not be considered long distance. How old is the child?

Access is the child's right to same. Upon saying that have you considered sharing the access travel?

An alternate weekend regime with shared holidays ever 2nd thanksgiving, every 2nd easter, shared Christmas, alternated march breaks, shared summer holidays would not be unreasonable considering the circumstances.

[sherif28]

My ex and I were in a similar situation as we live 3 hours apart. I have full custody and he has access every other weekend, one week christmas vacation, alternating easter, march break week, fathers day weekend and 5 weeks in the summer for vacation. If our daughter has a holiday or PA day from school on a friday or monday of his access weekend then she sees him for those extra days as well. Any other times that we mutally agree upon also. We also share the expenses of driving. We meet half way for drop offs and pick ups.
I hope that helps. I felt it was a fair arrangement for access but of course my ex continues to battle me about it, but life goes on.

[jlalex]

Thanks for the replies..I did forget to mention though that it is likely that he/we would be doing all the travelling. We would like to share the transportation but that involves a lot of hassle as she is often not well..and when she has she is usually hours late etc..so if we were to be doing the pick up and drop off thats at least 16 hours driving in one weekend. A few times we've stayed in a hotel in the Ottawa area but that gets too costly.

He was thinking of asking for a set amount of days..say the amount he would have if he had their child for all holidays and a month in the summer..that way even if it wasn't his holiday to see him he still gets those days at some point through out the year. Ideally they would alternate holidays, one month in the summer, and any extra time would be decided ahead of time, perhaps submitting a yearly schedule prior to the New year..that way vacation days can be decided in advance.

[Grace]

Could the child travel by train? I believe VIA offers an unaccompanied minor service.

How old is the child. Parenting in difference cities can be difficult if the child participates in activities/sports on the weekends.

[logicalvelocity]

Greyhound buslines offer a service of unaccompanied children



main page http://www.greyhound.ca/en/

and

policy on same

http://www.greyhound.ca/en/travel_in...children.shtml

[sasha1]

What about moving closer to the child? I know a lot of times people feel that it's an impossibility, but if you really consider it seriously, it can be worked out. Would that work at all?

[Duped]

Child's ordinary residence..

When my ex left town with my child, the court said, 6 hours away is unnacceptable and because here is where the child ordinarily resided prior to separation, the child was to be returned to this area. I got the order from the court automatically.

Not sure if that helps

Duped

[sherif28]

Regarding using the train, if the child is between 6 and 12 there can be no transfer associated with the travel. Therefore the train has to be a direct route. We ran into this problem and will have to wait until she is over 12 years old to consider the train.
Distance is definitly an obstacle with visitation between parents but with good communication and flexibility it can work.
We find that weather can be an issue also with travel and sometimes there has to be changes and flexibility to that.
In my situation we have problems in this area(travel and exchanges) as my ex will refuse to return her back to me and I end up having to drive 6 hours total trip to bring her back home or he is always very late with no phone call etc but I do what I have to do and just keep trying to make it work for my daughter.
I hope you can find a resolution that will work for all involved.