bankruptcy to avoid equalization payment

[kdham1964]

Support and maintainence payments are definitely exempt from bankruptcy. Even if he wipes his debts, these payments will still be based on his income. As far as the equalization payment, I recommend that you ask your lawyer (if you have one), AND call a bankruptcy trustee. They are usually quite willing to answer these questions. I know a good one if you can't find one where you are (might be a long distance call though).

Keep in mind also that when anyone files for CS, Spousal support, and equalization, both parties must file financial statements. These could be used to prove whether his bankruptcy claim is valid or not.

On a more personal note, I find it interesting that all your responses, before mine, were from men (I assume so from the screen names). In some cases they were quite nasty, gentlemen. While I am the first to admit that the men go through a lot of bs in a divorce, the fact is that she is simply looking for some answers and support, just as you are. We do not know all the facts of the situation.

I am in the unique position of trying to help a man through his divorce, and I can fully understand the issues you gentlemen are facing. But I think the whole point of this forum is to help provide support to anyone going through this.

We ALL tend to spout off a bit when we can do it anonymously (isn't that the point?), so cut the other person a break. We're all going through hell, and we all have different situations. Seems to me some tolerance is in order.

I know what you're all thinking...what does she know. Well I have been through a divorce, and I am now seeing it from both sides. Take a step back and understand that we are all going through our private hell.

Sorry for the lecture, but perhaps now we can help each other find answers and help each other through this crap.

[standing on the sidelines]

I never found anything nasty about the responses that were given and I am a woman.

[dadtotheend]

I never found anything nasty about the responses that were given and I am a woman.

I agree, there was nothing too nasty. There were some question raised, and legitimate ones at that.

And considering the way men have been screwed in separation and divorce proceedings in the past, they can hardly be faulted for feeling a little, no make that a lot, jaded about it.

Kinda of the same way women had a right to be pissed about the way domestic violence was ignored in this society until 10or 20 years ago.

The difference is that men didn't form a strong opposite gender hater fraternity in response.

[logicalvelocity]

I agree, there was nothing too nasty. There were some question raised, and legitimate ones at that.

And considering the way men have been screwed in separation and divorce proceedings in the past, they can hardly be faulted for feeling a little, no make that a lot, jaded about it.

Kinda of the same way women had a right to be pissed about the way domestic violence was ignored in this society until 10or 20 years ago.

The difference is that men didn't form a strong opposite gender hater fraternity in response.

Men fraternities most likely didn't qualify for government funding to promote the initiative notwithstanding that domestic violence does not discriminate against gender.

About Us

Sad really, how many shelters are open to men in situations of domestic violence.

[limer]

I personally did not mean to sound at all insulting. If it was perceived that way, my apologies. Granted when reading as you did there is always something that strikes a chord; writing styles, reading between the lines, incomplete information etc.

What about the equalization payment?... At 20K equalization payment. Are assets in both names or just one, and what is the desired outcome?

What I'm getting at here is in relation to my own case, my ex was/is looking for indemnities/vesting orders which I don't agree to. She wants both the house and the cottage, but can she afford it?

It's a matter of getting down to the cruch of the matter, what's reasonable, moving towards conclusion, and what can be afforded by both parties.

As a finishing point to my thread here is that of yesterday, I signed the listing papers for the house as my ex has stopped paying the mortgage on it, before the financial companies take it. It has to be sold at less than it's value. She has/had exclusive possession of it. Mind you though, she is still keeping the cottage!..

... the choices people make... Are all the assets divided up on paper and signed? It may be something influencing your Ex is all.

[dadtotheend]

Men fraternities most likely didn't qualify for government funding to promote the initiative notwithstanding that domestic violence does not discriminate against gender.

About Us

Sad really, how many shelters are open to men in situations of domestic violence.

Of the 24 contributing volunteers listed on that web link above, 2 of them are men. I guess that's worth something....kinda, not really. They're pushing 9%. Bravo!

[rwm1273]

Seven years after separation and I too have racked up huge debts. $200K wasted on lawyers so far. But I now have custody of my kids, and I ensure my ex has more reasonable access than she ever let me have.

You claim you have sole custody. He wants joint custody. You do not seem to understand what these two terms actually mean. Sounds like he just wants to have some rights to know about his kids and be in their lives. They are half of his dna too. You make it sound like they are your property.

I hate people like you. I don't normally get upset in forums like this, but you sound like a money grubber. All you are worried about is if his bankruptcy is going to affect your child support. Are you scared you won't be able to take that trip to Mexico this winter?

Just to settle your worries, his bankruptcy won't affect your child support. The government has made child support debt exempt from bankruptcy forgiveness. If anything his bankruptcy will help ensure he has money to continue to pay your support. May also help him keep his driver's license and his employment too. Many men end up trying to stave off bankruptcy paying down matrimonial debt that they get stuck with, and then unreasonable legal fees trying to have access to their kids because of women who feel kids are their property and prevent access, and end up falling behind in support payments and things only get worse if they get laid off from work.

As to your support payments and his access t the kids, unless he gets over 40% access or more, then he is not able to have any reduction in support. Many judges ensure that they never give more than 39.9% access to dad, just to ensure our government is not stuck supporting mothers. Our current court system has nothing to do with best interest of the children, and sounds like you don't either.

[blinkandimgone]

I hate people like you. I don't normally get upset in forums like this, but you sound like a money grubber. All you are worried about is if his bankruptcy is going to affect your child support. Are you scared you won't be able to take that trip to Mexico this winter?

Or maybe the kids need winter coats and boots.

[rwm1273]

Yes it could be the kids need winter boots, but her initial story sounded too much like she was annoyed that the father wanted joint custody because she had sole custody.

To me and obviously several other posters she sounded like she felt he was only declaring bankruptcy to get out of paying her.

[kdham1964]

Thanks Limer:

My comments, too, were not meant to offend anyone, and I apologize if I did.. I suppose that sometimes we are all frustrated with our situation, and it feels good to be able to release it somewhere, especially ananymously.

I have no doubt that any of the men on this forum want to be a part of their children's lives, and I applaud you for that! My ex is not a part of my son's life, and for that I am glad (he has severe mental health issues). But I never stop reminding my son that it is his father, and encourage regular communication with him (just not unsupervised, for obvious reasons).

I wish all of you genlemen the best of luck, and I firmly support father's being a part of their children's, when appropriate (in my case it could be dangerous). Children need both their parents.

I have never asked my ex for CS, as I know he cannotpay it. I prefer to support my son on my own. I only ask for sole support, due o the ex's mental health issues. But I have never denied his father seeing him.

Again, I apologize if I offended anyone. It was not intentionally, just emotionally charged.

[kdham1964]

Forgot to spellcheck, I meant sole custdy...my ex can barely take care of himself, and my son is better off where he is...will not cut off communication, though

[ZipZap]

If your ex files for bankruptcy at any stage, you will become a creditor, just like all the others in the bankruptcy proceedings, if he owes you an equalization payment.

The easiest way to handle this is to get a copy of the court order requiring the ex to make an equalization payment, and then take it to the Bankruptcy Court, fill out a Proof of Claim, and then file it. Alternatively, you can file the Proof of Claim (and the court order) with the trustee who is handling your ex's bankruptcy.

If my memory of bankruptcy law is correct, once you do that, you will become a preferred creditor in the ranking of creditors. Secured creditors come first, priority (i.e. government) creditors come next, and unsecured/preferred come last.

The bottom line is that you may or may not collect some money from his estate, depending on where competing creditors sit, and how much they're owed.

Spousal support and child support are not dischargeable in bankruptcy, so if you are owed these amounts, that part of your claim will be treated as a priority claim ranking higher than all others, save secured creditors.

[AtALoss]

If your ex files for bankruptcy at any stage, you will become a creditor, just like all the others in the bankruptcy proceedings, if he owes you an equalization payment.

The easiest way to handle this is to get a copy of the court order requiring the ex to make an equalization payment, and then take it to the Bankruptcy Court, fill out a Proof of Claim, and then file it. Alternatively, you can file the Proof of Claim (and the court order) with the trustee who is handling your ex's bankruptcy.

If my memory of bankruptcy law is correct, once you do that, you will become a preferred creditor in the ranking of creditors. Secured creditors come first, priority (i.e. government) creditors come next, and unsecured/preferred come last.

The bottom line is that you may or may not collect some money from his estate, depending on where competing creditors sit, and how much they're owed.

Spousal support and child support are not dischargeable in bankruptcy, so if you are owed these amounts, that part of your claim will be treated as a priority claim ranking higher than all others, save secured creditors.

Im going through this situation and in my case at least it has not so far affected the CS & SS...... BUT my EX had a remainer of the equalization payment outstanding to me. well I just got told a couple of days ago that the priority status is being disallowed for that item and well anybody's guess what you may see in the end. Could be a little as 10 cents on the dollar maybe more. Just frutrates me that a court order means nothing in this process. Kinda like buyer be warned. I guess I let it go as dont have the money to pay my lawyer any more while we wait and EX holds out.
BTW he was ordered to pay well under the tabled amounts and for 5 years I just let it go. So he is not as hard up as he claims to be.

[Tayken]

Men fraternities most likely didn't qualify for government funding to promote the initiative notwithstanding that domestic violence does not discriminate against gender.

About Us

Sad really, how many shelters are open to men in situations of domestic violence.

Interesting point. There are even shelters for pets to escape "domestic violence" but, nothing really for men. But, men have a bit to blame for this in my opinion. Men rarely speak about the impact of domestic violence on them. Be it there are very few services to do so... Men still don't really speak up.

[AtALoss]

This is an area that my spouse and I have had many discussions with individuals and most recently an individual in the House of Commons and one that I will be continueing with the H/C.

It is true that it is an issue that is not spoken about and I think largely for 2 reasons. The first being the social implications...May encounter as with one I spoke with.... He suffered the abuse when he tried to report it the Authorities basically laughed at him... What do you mean you are a big man and your spouse is just a little woman... nothing was done or offered to him.

Another issue that is closer to home is my (current) spouse's story and that at FRO's hands he was made homeless. Was there much in the system in the way of a shelter with a little bit of dignity or some thing other than just a bed for the night.... nope.
These are the issues (amoung many) that he and I are both hoping and fighting to have finally addessed and something done about. Just wanted to say that there are some out there trying.