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  • #31
    He knows I would never abuse the card, It is a control thing. I know his debts are mine and mine are his.

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    • #32
      Janice: You need to get a lawyer asap and you need to get an INTERIM ORDER for spousal support. This can be done in a matter of days. I had particularly good results with a young lawyer. If the marital home is paid for you will have absolutely no problem in retaining a lawyer. I hope you have some money. Lawyer will require 3,000.00 - 5,000.00 for a retainer but it can be the best money you ever spent. He is taking away your card for two reasons: 1. so you don't rack up a bill and 2. so he can control you.

      You mentioned you are wife #4. He is used to dealing with ex wives and likely has a lawyer on retainer all of the time. He is experienced at this. You are not.

      It is a good thing he moved out. In the interim spousal support order you can ask for, and will likely get, the right to live in the matrimonial home until such time as there is a divorce/separation agreement in order. He will not be allowed to come and go from the house without your permission. Make sure the interim SS is payable through your local maintenance enforcement (FRO). Your lawyer will know how to word this. This way you won't have to deal with him on a continuing basis for money.

      You need a lawyer who will act quickly. Younger lawyers tend to do up their own orders and are less reliant on secretaries. I had my motion seeking divorce done up and served on my ex within 5 days. Make sure you have the police report # as your lawyer will want to document this, particularly if you are divorcing for mental/physical cruelty.

      Get to a lawyer quickly, even if you have to borrow the money from a friend. Quit listening to his family members. What they think is of no concern. Start documenting everything. Keep a daily journal. Keep your distance from him.

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      • #33
        Thanks, his lawyer has already refused to represent him cause he represented us both in house purchase. This is a real problem for him because this lawyer he trusted, now he has to find another lawyer and will not be comfortable with anybody. I have money. i am very good with money regardless of how much of a flake I SOUND LIKE. my question is the same. do you think i willl get support and how much. the lawyer from legal aid said he owed me $3000.00A MONTH for five yeARS OR HE COULD JUST WALKAWAY FROM THE HOUSE WORTH $500,000.00 THAT IS PAID FOR

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        • #34
          Originally posted by janice020204 View Post
          Thanks, his lawyer has already refused to represent him cause he represented us both in house purchase. This is a real problem for him because this lawyer he trusted, now he has to find another lawyer and will not be comfortable with anybody. I have money. i am very good with money regardless of how much of a flake I SOUND LIKE. my question is the same. do you think i willl get support and how much. the lawyer from legal aid said he owed me $3000.00A MONTH for five yeARS OR HE COULD JUST WALKAWAY FROM THE HOUSE WORTH $500,000.00 THAT IS PAID FOR
          how much is the house worth???? You do realize that whatever a lawyer says doesnt mean a judge will think the same way. No one on here can tell you one way or another if you will get SS. With your situation its a crapshoot at best.

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          • #35
            Don't worry about how much for now follow Arabian"s instructions, the immediate thing to do is get a jump on him, get your ducks in a row, and change the locks for your own protection, he does not sound like a nice calm man....especially after 4 wives....maybe get them on your side too?????

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            • #36
              Everything depends upon the financial disclosure. The lawyer you talked to really had no business quoting you numbers without having all the information. There are many, many things for you to get educated in. First things first. Get the lawyer.

              He will try to present a financial picture of an old geezer in retirement (because he draws so little salary). You will have to get financial information to counter this.

              You need a lawyer that practices FAMILY law not conveyancing (real estate). Hopefully the lawyer has some experience dealing with people in business. If the lawyer wants to rely on tax returns - dump him. How or what your husband pays his taxes is of little relevance to you in determining SS because he is self-employed. That is very, very important.

              If you want to play with some figures go online to ChildView and select the "without children" category. In your case, because he is at retirement age, I would think that property settlement would be logical. You are 52, not 62, and because you have up-to-date skills and can get employment, your SS will be reflect it.

              Best you can do right now is request a substantial amount for INTERIM SS. This way your ex will be motivated to come to the table sooner (at least $5,000.00/month if you can). You might be asked to present a budget. Don't scrimp on anything. Your lawyer will advise you. In the end it's all up to the judge! I would consider yourself as, due to the acrimonious and violent state of your marriage, you are currently unemployed.

              Remember - shitty lawyer: shitty outcome.

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              • #37
                Originally posted by janice020204 View Post
                No I do not get any of the 1,000,000.00. The property was his before we met. The business is worth less than when we met, therefore I GET NOTHING HERE
                Exactly. What is the confusion? You added nothing to the business, so why should you get a piece of it?


                i WANT SUPPORT BEAUSE I WAS MAKING $50,000.00 A YEAR WHEN WE MET. i GAVE THAT UP TO HELP HIM WITH HIS BUSINESS. tHE BUSINESS DECLINED. hE STILL HAS THE $1,000,000.00
                Can you make $50,000 now? If not, why not? Have you looked for other jobs?

                Note that wanting support is not the same as being entitled to it.

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by cynthia10 View Post
                  Don't worry about how much for now follow Arabian"s instructions, the immediate thing to do is get a jump on him, get your ducks in a row, and change the locks for your own protection, he does not sound like a nice calm man....especially after 4 wives....maybe get them on your side too?????
                  first off she cannot change the locks on the home. She hasnt mentioned if he was charged with anything.

                  is it just me or would most women avoid a man with three ex wives??

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                  • #39
                    Janice: You are on this forum to get advice on your situation, certainly not on employment readiness. You will find many on this forum will offer good constructive advice. Others will only take out their personal frustrations of their own failed marriages (and having to pay SS) on you.

                    Your new job, separation and divorce, will likely keep you busy in a full-time capacity.

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                    • #40
                      Yep I'd be running the other direction if approached by someone with 3 ex's. You would have to ask yourself what's wrong with the guy at some point....

                      She can change the locks if she has an interim order to do so. Not hard to get one, particularly after police have been called to the home.

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                      • #41
                        The house is worth $500,000.00 of which I paid for more than half. I have a real estate lisence I know how to negotiate property. $500,000.00 diviDed by two is not much money if you do not hAVE A JOB. i SOLD REAL ESTATE IN TORONTO, I AM NOW 4 HOURS AWAY IN THE COUNTRY. I AM 52 YEars old and do not have the energy I did 15 years ago to work 24 hours a day seven days a week. which is what it takes to make money in real estate. i am here in the country because his joband business moved here, not because I moved here or my job brought us here. i am here because of him. Therefore he married me, The law sees marriage as a financial arrangement or business arrangement.

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                        • #42
                          You are right . i ignored the flags

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                          • #43
                            thanks i am quickly witnessing the animosity

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                            • #44
                              doesnt matter that you paid more then half.

                              So you have a real estate licence so are capable of going back to it?? Yes the hours suck but you know what, so does working nights, multiple part time jobs etc etc, but people do it in order to survive. Who says you have to sell real estate in Toronto?

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                              • #45
                                I think you're jumping ahead of yourself here. This process is going to take lots of time and money. If you get the financial disclosure you might be surprised at how much you are entitled to (good or bad). Facts will prevail.

                                You said yourself that you are quite financially savy. Put that knowledge and experience to work and get details. Many people hide money through their businesses by purchasing other, smaller businesses. You need to see the bank statements (money in - money out).

                                Out of curiosity, not relevant to your situation at all, did he have to make substantial settlements with other 3 wives?

                                Comment

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