So:
Today is holiday Monday. Monday is also our changeover day. The usual procedure on holiday Mondays is for the parent with the kid to drop the kid off at other parents' place at 5.00. Nothing in divorce order, just procedure.
Ex has kid this past week. I emailed ex last Wednesday asking if he could drop her off an hour early today because of dinner at bf's sister-in-laws. Not a big deal.
Ex does not say yes, I can bring her over early, which would be fine. Ex does not say no, we've got plans and won't be done until 5.00, which would also be fine. Ex says he will need to think about this request for a while because I have not given him enough notice to think about that extra hour properly (six days).
Monday afternoon rolls around. No decision from ex. Sister-in-law wants to know what time to serve dinner. I email ex asking as politely as possible when he is bringing kid over. I get long ranting email response about his right to spend his time with kid as he wishes (which I am not questioning at all - I just need to know what time kid is coming to my place). He informs me that he will text me when he and kid are coming, but I am not to text him because if I did so he would "consider a violation of the guidelines on reasonable communication".
(Note that I never, ever text ex except in dire emergencies - e.g. kid is in the ER - communication on my end is absolutely minimal and certainly does not extend to screens of pompous email about rights and wrongs). (Note also that ex has often asked me to take kid for extra hours/nights/weekends because he and new wife have plans, and I have never played these "maybe I will, maybe I won't" games - I say yes if it's at all possible to take the kid and on the rare occasions when I can't - out of town on business or something - I say no right away).
So now, if you've read this far, please remind me that this is one of the many, many situations that do not require a response on my part; that even though I could send a flaming email which would point out all the ways in which he is being a jerk and making co-parenting difficult, I do not need to send that email. Please remind me that when dealing with a conflict-loving ex, silence continues to be the response of first resort.
Today is holiday Monday. Monday is also our changeover day. The usual procedure on holiday Mondays is for the parent with the kid to drop the kid off at other parents' place at 5.00. Nothing in divorce order, just procedure.
Ex has kid this past week. I emailed ex last Wednesday asking if he could drop her off an hour early today because of dinner at bf's sister-in-laws. Not a big deal.
Ex does not say yes, I can bring her over early, which would be fine. Ex does not say no, we've got plans and won't be done until 5.00, which would also be fine. Ex says he will need to think about this request for a while because I have not given him enough notice to think about that extra hour properly (six days).
Monday afternoon rolls around. No decision from ex. Sister-in-law wants to know what time to serve dinner. I email ex asking as politely as possible when he is bringing kid over. I get long ranting email response about his right to spend his time with kid as he wishes (which I am not questioning at all - I just need to know what time kid is coming to my place). He informs me that he will text me when he and kid are coming, but I am not to text him because if I did so he would "consider a violation of the guidelines on reasonable communication".
(Note that I never, ever text ex except in dire emergencies - e.g. kid is in the ER - communication on my end is absolutely minimal and certainly does not extend to screens of pompous email about rights and wrongs). (Note also that ex has often asked me to take kid for extra hours/nights/weekends because he and new wife have plans, and I have never played these "maybe I will, maybe I won't" games - I say yes if it's at all possible to take the kid and on the rare occasions when I can't - out of town on business or something - I say no right away).
So now, if you've read this far, please remind me that this is one of the many, many situations that do not require a response on my part; that even though I could send a flaming email which would point out all the ways in which he is being a jerk and making co-parenting difficult, I do not need to send that email. Please remind me that when dealing with a conflict-loving ex, silence continues to be the response of first resort.
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