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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21  
Old 10-17-2018, 09:54 AM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by good_mom View Post
GF is not party to the agreement and not parent to the children, respond only to Dad e-mails that need a response. He choose to have her in his life, great but you are the parents to the kids.

Them going on about it crap=file= no response. You do not need to defend yourself.

Dad asking about anything for the kids, respond but remember, if they are not bleeding or in danger you can take 24hrs mins. to response. If its weeks away take 72hrs.

I Suggest Family Wisard.


Thank you goodmom. I have begged for family wizard. Lawyer wrote his lawyer suggesting it as well. Dad refuses. I am forced to email an email they is shared by him and girlfriend. Hisnamehername@. Well you get it. Most times it signed by them both. Which only validates my claim more that she is interfering. I have not checked their emails since thanksgiving. Itís been very nice to not have to see the vile accusations and silliness they send.


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  #22  
Old 10-17-2018, 10:57 AM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Originally Posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
Dad telling his children to go tell Mom they want to stay with dad and miss dinner is not mom dragging kids into it.
To be clear, I've never actually defended the Dad. He sounds like he is worse than you. I am just saying that you can control your behaviour. You cannot control his behaviour. Do the best that you can do. Maybe he drags the kids into it, but you don't have to descend to the same level.

Quote:
Going into the change room to make sure my son is ok is hardly a sucker punch. Funny statement though.
Attempting to parent when it is not your parenting time, and then claiming that you don't understand why he gets upset is a little disingenuous. I've talked to many divorced parents, and parenting during the other parent's time is a major point of contention. It is a high-aggression move. It sends the message "I'm a better parent than you"... and no parent appreciates that message. Especially when that message is true

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Dad coming and ripping your child from your arms and removing him to another area of the arena when you are trying to give him a time out for hitting his friend at hockey (on moms weekend). Is much more of a sucker punch I would say.
Agreed. That is much worse, and if he was on this forum I would be telling him that it was a terrible move as well. However, his wrongs don't make your wrongs a right, as the saying goes.

Quote:
At least you agree that he parents incorrectly.
Perhaps you have misunderstood my point of view. I have never said that he parents well, I have just said that he has parenting time, during which he gets to parent. Conversely, during his parenting time, you do not get to parent.

The same applies to him, but alas he is not here to receive my wise admonishments.

Quote:
Control is hardly the issue. If the other parent actually listened to his child there would not have been any skate issues.
So, if the dad did what you want him to do, then there would not be any issues. You don't want control, you just know you are right and know that he should do things your way. That's totally different than control.

I want to reiterate that I'm not against you, your ex sounds a lot like mine so I'm feeling a surprisingly high level of empathy here. I'm just hoping to help you see why it has to be on you to disengage, and why your continued focus on dad's wrongs doesn't help.
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  #23  
Old 10-17-2018, 11:12 AM
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Thanks Janus. I will agree ... if I would have known me going to the change room would have had the outcome it did. I would not have gone. It was clearly out of concern for our son. It wasnít to control. Or make myself look better. My only concern was for my son to be able to play hockey the next day without pain. Guess I am naive that I didnít think it would have looked a different way. I got to my son first. Dad wasnít even there yet (also I am an assistant coach and I am allowed in the change rooms). When dad arrived I tried to speak to him in the hallway.... he forced me into the change room by pushing me out of the way... yes he kept saying excuse me.... but at the same time pushing me backwards with his body. I guess at that point I should have left. Not Knowing his version of things was going to be quite different. Lesson learned. Stay away. Which I always have done except for this one time out of concern for our son. Iím glad your able to be the bigger person with your ex. I am trying to get there by not responding to there crazy accusations or engaging in any sort of back and forth. I for 10 emails that weekend about this. I responded twice about pickup times. Anyways thanks for the input.


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