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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 10-22-2018, 12:07 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Which you can then ignore. Think about it this way:

1. He asked for more time.
2. You offered it.
3. He picked and chose what time he wanted.
4. The demand has been met.

If you gave him what he wanted and it didnít meet the threshold for cs adjustment then theres no need to continue to respond to additional correspondence.

If anything you can simply point out that you have responded to his request, his response does not change custody, if he does not agree then you should simply proceed with a judge involved.

Even if you had deep pockets to continue this circle of hell you would still need a judge to decide because he refuses to agree. You donít have deep pockets. Move forward.

For a guy who canít make his support and s7 arrears he sure has a lot of money for a lawyer. I canít imagine its cheap to send all his letters!

Just remember that you do not have to participate in the arguments he launches. He can send you emails all day long. You gave him your answer. No further response needed!
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  #12  
Old 10-22-2018, 12:16 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Well I havenít responded to his demand via email yet.

But it was offered in the court papers.

So I donít need to respond to his email? All of a sudden asking for the time I offered in the court docs. ?


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  #13  
Old 10-22-2018, 12:35 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Maybe respond by noting you provided your offer in the court documents and he is welcome to use those?
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  #14  
Old 10-23-2018, 12:35 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Maybe respond by noting you provided your offer in the court documents and he is welcome to use those?
agreed. simply state that the options were set out in the court documents- and give the dates.

as to the custody- i've been told multiple times by people on here- and my lawyer- don't agree to anything until OCL is complete. Otherwise- it may look like you're trying to frustrate the process or you're getting desperate. but fuck- aren't we all?
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  #15  
Old 10-23-2018, 12:41 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
agreed. simply state that the options were set out in the court documents- and give the dates.



as to the custody- i've been told multiple times by people on here- and my lawyer- don't agree to anything until OCL is complete. Otherwise- it may look like you're trying to frustrate the process or you're getting desperate. but fuck- aren't we all?


Thanks Iona. So basically if they want the time I offered they should also agree to all the other things. Like it all goes hand in hand. I offered time to exercise maximum contact without disrupting the childrenís routines and schedules too much. But stipulated I was only offering this if I retain custody as I have had it for the past 5 years.

They are only picking and choosing what is most convenient for them. Not what is best for the kids.


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  #16  
Old 10-23-2018, 10:14 PM
denbigh denbigh is offline
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I had 1 4 way and I think it was worth it. I would not have done more than 1 4 way though. It was getting a bit ridiculous going back and forth in emails what could be said with a 10 minute conversation, and ex refused to speak with me. The other benefit, which my lawyer told me, is that it lets each lawyer know what the other person is up to and gets truth on the table, because sometimes people do not tell their lawyer the whole story and the lawyer can only advise on what they know, At a 4 way the lawyer might get a better idea of reality and can then advise their client better. I have no doubt that was the situation in my case! It didnt resolve it imediately because my ex's response after the 4 way was to fire his lawyer. But I think it still helped and showed I was pretty firm in my position and within 6 months an agreement was signed.
The irony of it, was in the end the agreement was pretty much exactly what I had suggested when we first separated. Still took 1.5 years, 1 trip to court and about 17000 for my costs alone, plus whatever ex spent. Such a waste. And reading on here I know I should count myself lucky it only took that long.
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  #17  
Old 10-23-2018, 10:28 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Thanks Denigh! Sadly I declined the meeting already. Although after I declined it my ex sent about half of the arrears he owed for sect 7ís. I think he is trying to clean his hands for ocl he is meeting in two days. He is now asking for some of the things I offered in the court papers. I canít agree to anything as whenever I try to compromise I get nasties emails back.

Iím hoping he will ask lawyer to ask my lawyer. Then when my reasons come back to him from my lawyer he has to has accept them and not send me a nasty email and be malicious and condescending.


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  #18  
Old 10-24-2018, 02:23 AM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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You both hired lawyers so there is no need to have any communication whatsoever with your ex. I havenít communicated with my ex for seven years. Not face to face, not by phone, not by email, not by carrier pigeon. Any and all communication goes through the lawyers including anything to do with the kids. I have no intention of communicating with him once our divorce is final either!

You have the right not to have to communicate with him. Especially since you have a lawyer. Do not make the mistake of trusting your ex. There are lawyers involved. This is war and donít ever forget that.
Either ignore his emails or redirect him to your lawyer. End of story. If he doesnít sign and accept your legal offer the way your lawyer wrote it ...Too bad. So sad. No extra time. Everything stays the same.
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  #19  
Old 10-24-2018, 06:31 AM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stillbreathing View Post
You both hired lawyers so there is no need to have any communication whatsoever with your ex. I havenít communicated with my ex for seven years. Not face to face, not by phone, not by email, not by carrier pigeon. Any and all communication goes through the lawyers including anything to do with the kids. I have no intention of communicating with him once our divorce is final either!



You have the right not to have to communicate with him. Especially since you have a lawyer. Do not make the mistake of trusting your ex. There are lawyers involved. This is war and donít ever forget that.

Either ignore his emails or redirect him to your lawyer. End of story. If he doesnít sign and accept your legal offer the way your lawyer wrote it ...Too bad. So sad. No extra time. Everything stays the same.


Thanks Still Breathing!! I am a little bit of a wimp when it comes to my kids and court stuff. I donít want my actions to affect my case negatively. My ex an gf are highly manipulative. Again a good reason not to answer them.
Also they accused myself and partner of lies and made up false accusations. Then they ask to get the kids earlier on pickup day. That would leave my partner to send them off and have to be alone for the pickup from my home. So since they canít be trusted no way I could put my partner in that position to send the children off while I am at work. They specifically ask for 4:30 pm pickup. And not from school which is odd.
When itís been 7pm the past 5 years. They were offered Sunday night extension to weekend and are not interested.

Why is it I feel so guilty for not compromising??? I mean I have tried in the past and it basically gets spat on each time. Which is what your exactly right and I donít need to respond. They have already been told changes to access through Lawyers.

Also they harass me via email. 7-10 emails each weekend my children are with dad!! Itís crazy. Itís like my weekend gets highjacked every time!! Even by me not answering them itís stressful to see them keep coming in.






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  #20  
Old 10-26-2018, 12:47 PM
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arabian arabian is offline
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Try to get the other side to agree to Our Family Wizard as a mode of communication. I believe someone on here once mentioned that it has a "tone" monitor and is set up to ensure communication is child-centered.

In the meantime I'd get a new email address for your day-to-day communication with friends, etc. Keep the old one and put a "bounce-back" message on it that says that only communication which is child-focussed and relevant will be answered (or something to that effect - others on here will have idea)
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