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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 06-13-2009, 04:09 PM
ABtoAK ABtoAK is offline
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Unhappy Divorcing after 7 months

Hello all,
Seems like a pretty good place to get some answers, and I have quite a few questions.
A little background first. My wife (now separated) and I married in November '08 and are now just in the beginning stages of a divorce. We also have a 14 month old son, who is my world. Things have been rocky throughout our relationship, and she has been extremely mentally unstable. She has been to the doctor numerous times to be perscibed anti-dpressants, and it seems that her mood swings have happened at least once per month since we had our son. She gets extremely aggressive, and there is nothing I can do to stop her from coming at me and hitting me. I try to lock doors, but she kicks them and tries to wreck them until I open them, if I try to leave she stands in front of the door and won't let me out. Like just about all men, I never did file anything with the police. And when I told her that abuse against men is just as common as women she told me that was a lie. Anyway, I took a transfer with my company to the US and we all moved in December. However, she ended up packing up and moving home in May with my son, and now it is extremely hard to go back and see him. I was used to seeing him everyday and now the trips cost ~$2K when I travel. When I met her (approx 2.5 years ago) she had nothing really, she ended up moving her way into my condo at the time and never ever offered to pay for anything other that very occasional groceries. Even at that, I one time suggested that we split the grocery bill and she freaked out. In my mind, I was paying for everything else, mortgage, taxes, condo fees, utilities, truck pmt, maintenance ect. so this shouldn't have been a big deal. The only bill she had was for her car payment. Anyway, live and learn, and never get mixed up with a gold digger again.

She has always had a good job and full benefits making about 60% of what I make. I am wondering how I can calculate the CS amount for my son? And how spousal support is determined? also, since everything in our house was mine prior to meeting her, how will it be divided? I am going to try to get custody of our son, but I am not sure how best to go about this. His home is here, 2900 sqft home in a beautiful nieghbourhood, and not in the 2 bdrm apartment living with the ex's sister. I know these are very broad questions.

Thanks in advance for any advice you can give.
Old 06-14-2009, 09:02 PM
doingmybest doingmybest is offline
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1) CS will be determined based on custody and your income. If you want sole will not have to pay CS, she will. If you get joint it is different.
Spousal were not together long enough really, but it will depend on the judge and how she presents her case. My ex and i were married 6 years, and he asked for spousal support and got 0. Judge told him to get a second job! (I also got sole custody, and my parents help with taking care of my daughter)

2) If you want your son to be with you, where is he living now? Where are the grandparents? Who will take care of him while you work? Family? You need him to be living with you now, begin establishing him with you, and have family taking care of him when you are working. Every moment you should spend with him. Judge won't really take the living quarters into account, sorry....lots of kids live in apartments with family members. In fact, your living might work against you and get her spousal support. IF she has him and not you, judges do not like to change things, she will get him and you will get visitation rights.....(most likely)

3) Anything you owned before marriage is yours, you will need to prove it with receipts, bank statements etc.....she will only have claim to half of what was accumulated during your marriage. BUT you have to prove the start a file and get things in order.

4) Love you child. Set up things like: health care benefits, life insurance policy with son as beneficiary, if he is not living with you look at the CS guidelines and start paying support (document and keep copies of cheques) so that you show you are taking care of your son.

Good luck
Old 06-15-2009, 10:21 AM
independentgal independentgal is offline
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It sounds like your wife has undiagnosed post-partum depression.
Old 06-15-2009, 06:19 PM
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dadtotheend dadtotheend is offline
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Originally Posted by independentgal View Post
It sounds like your wife has undiagnosed post-partum depression.
...or any number of personality disorders, she was acting kooky before they had a child.

Last edited by dadtotheend; 06-15-2009 at 06:22 PM.
Old 06-27-2009, 02:13 AM
ABtoAK ABtoAK is offline
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Yes, she is `kooky` and it runs pretty commonly within her family. Her mother, uncle, aunt, grandma, and granpa have all had various mental health issues. Had I known before I got involved I am not sure I would have taken the marriage step. However, she did bring me the greatest joy in my life, being my son.
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