Further to my intro post... 13 year common-law relationship. 2 kids of the relationship. Power imbalance and histrory of abuse. Can he claim unjust enrichment or spousal support??
The family home is solely in my name. I provided the entire down-payment and have made all the mortgage, utility and tax payments, financed the few renos done etc. He hasn’t contributed much at all, not even in terms of labour or maintenance. But he is now playing the “stay-at-home dad†card claiming he’s going to seek half the assets just like any stay-at-home-mom would. And fight me for custody too as the "primary caregiver". Holy role reversal!
I've increased my debtload during our relationship, not increased my wealth. Refinanced the house and increased my mortgage principal, didn't pay anything off! Pillaged my RRSP to pay for childcare so he would not have primary caregiver status.
IMO, he has already been adequetly compensated before and has taken advantage of the situation due to my fear of him. He always had free access to money in the bank, which he abused. When he did briefly hold a job, he'd do selfish things like buy a $750 namebrand guitar with his meager pay, not contribute to family expenses. I've paid for everything.
He also caused property damage in fits of rage on several occassions, some of which I can prove. Sad as it sounds, when you live with abuse, you learn to get proof whenever you can since your abuser is often the picture of charm in public.
Then there's the whole spousal support concept. To date, he hasn't mentioned it. But given the huge difference in our earnings...? I'm sure if he ever actually speaks to a lawyer himself, he'll be told to go for it. I work full time in a professional unionized job, and he has only ever worked, sporadically at best, in unskilled labour.
I'd like to think he's talking out of his butt right now, scared of losing his meal ticket, and hoping I'll cave like I have in the past and just let him stay. But I am a bit worried about everything. In all your experiences, do I have any serious concerns (with regard to him getting the kids or 1/2 my house that is LOL)?
Reading the Peter vs Beblow case was pretty frightening! But in that case it was the abuse victim who was compensated, not the abuser:
"the three elements necessary to establish a claim for unjust enrichment -- an enrichment, a corresponding deprivation, and the absence of any juristic reason for the enrichment -- are made out in this case. The appellant's housekeeping and child-care services constituted a benefit to the respondent (1st element), in that he received household services without compensation, which in turn enhanced his ability to pay off his mortgage and other assets. These services also constituted a corresponding detriment to the appellant (2nd element), in that she provided services without compensation. Finally, since there was no obligation existing between the parties which would justify the unjust enrichment and no other arguments under this broad heading were met, there is no juristic reason for the enrichment (3rd element). Having met the three criteria, the plaintiff has established an unjust enrichment giving rise to restitution."
Does it matter that we are both the natural parents of the children of our common-law relationship, now aged 4 and 8?? What about the fact that he's repeatedly used our "agreement" that he'd stay home if we ever had kids as a defence for not working and allowing his family to live pay-to-pay on my salary alone?? Either of those possibly constitute juristic reason??
Seperation is always hard, when there are kids it's even harder, but when your partner is abusive on top of everything, it's almost impossible!
Any thoughts, advice, legal precendents are much appreciated.
Thanks all!
The family home is solely in my name. I provided the entire down-payment and have made all the mortgage, utility and tax payments, financed the few renos done etc. He hasn’t contributed much at all, not even in terms of labour or maintenance. But he is now playing the “stay-at-home dad†card claiming he’s going to seek half the assets just like any stay-at-home-mom would. And fight me for custody too as the "primary caregiver". Holy role reversal!
I've increased my debtload during our relationship, not increased my wealth. Refinanced the house and increased my mortgage principal, didn't pay anything off! Pillaged my RRSP to pay for childcare so he would not have primary caregiver status.
IMO, he has already been adequetly compensated before and has taken advantage of the situation due to my fear of him. He always had free access to money in the bank, which he abused. When he did briefly hold a job, he'd do selfish things like buy a $750 namebrand guitar with his meager pay, not contribute to family expenses. I've paid for everything.
He also caused property damage in fits of rage on several occassions, some of which I can prove. Sad as it sounds, when you live with abuse, you learn to get proof whenever you can since your abuser is often the picture of charm in public.
Then there's the whole spousal support concept. To date, he hasn't mentioned it. But given the huge difference in our earnings...? I'm sure if he ever actually speaks to a lawyer himself, he'll be told to go for it. I work full time in a professional unionized job, and he has only ever worked, sporadically at best, in unskilled labour.
I'd like to think he's talking out of his butt right now, scared of losing his meal ticket, and hoping I'll cave like I have in the past and just let him stay. But I am a bit worried about everything. In all your experiences, do I have any serious concerns (with regard to him getting the kids or 1/2 my house that is LOL)?
Reading the Peter vs Beblow case was pretty frightening! But in that case it was the abuse victim who was compensated, not the abuser:
"the three elements necessary to establish a claim for unjust enrichment -- an enrichment, a corresponding deprivation, and the absence of any juristic reason for the enrichment -- are made out in this case. The appellant's housekeeping and child-care services constituted a benefit to the respondent (1st element), in that he received household services without compensation, which in turn enhanced his ability to pay off his mortgage and other assets. These services also constituted a corresponding detriment to the appellant (2nd element), in that she provided services without compensation. Finally, since there was no obligation existing between the parties which would justify the unjust enrichment and no other arguments under this broad heading were met, there is no juristic reason for the enrichment (3rd element). Having met the three criteria, the plaintiff has established an unjust enrichment giving rise to restitution."
Does it matter that we are both the natural parents of the children of our common-law relationship, now aged 4 and 8?? What about the fact that he's repeatedly used our "agreement" that he'd stay home if we ever had kids as a defence for not working and allowing his family to live pay-to-pay on my salary alone?? Either of those possibly constitute juristic reason??
Seperation is always hard, when there are kids it's even harder, but when your partner is abusive on top of everything, it's almost impossible!
Any thoughts, advice, legal precendents are much appreciated.
Thanks all!
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