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  • #16
    The first thing anyone needs to do to "change this" is document the existence of a problem. You need evidence to back up assertions that the court system is biased - personal stories, while they may be heartrending, do not prove the existence of systematic bias.

    You need some good social scientists or legal scholars on your bandwagon. This is an area in which I teach, and I can tell you that there is *no* high-quality research out there which suggests that there's a gender bias in terms of family law outomes in the courts. That's not to say the bias doesn't exist, just that its existence has not been proven.

    Individual experience is individual truth only - for collective truth, you need evidence. (Or, as my methodology professor used to say, "Data is not the plural of anecdote").


    Originally posted by Mother View Post
    Check your desk. Kleenex should be somewhere there.

    They say "People deserve the governement they have" and this is true in our case as well. If we do nothing, we deserve what we have in family courts and we have no right to complain. I just want to do little something to change things. Every child and parent has right to be togethet equally. Violence excluded of course.

    Comment


    • #17
      Originally posted by Mother View Post
      I am all for it but how many cases you personally know when a father takes the children and moves them from the matrimonial home elsewhere, claims the primary custodian rights and acts as such and then the mother needs to prove in court that she has rights to be with the children at least 50% of the time, spending thousands of dollars in the process?

      Just honestlly please tell me this. Thanks

      Yes, I know for very sure there are bad, bad fathers out there. I also personally know tons of fathers that are million time better than any mother and I am mother myself. Thanks again.
      Just because it doesn't happen as often doesn't make it any less worthy of protest.

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by toronto_father2 View Post
        It would be therapeutic for me to do something. I cant see the child, mom is blocking reasonable access so if I cant spend time with the child and I`m not doing anything...why not hit the court house and log some time at the picket line...I`m not doing a call to action...its that in my sadness I have to do something productive...turn that sadness into action.
        Be careful here. I've read your previous post. You have a big battle ahead of you, and THAT is where you need to focus your attention. Protesting needs to take a backseat for now. Your new baby needs to know you and you CAN win but it will, unfortunately, take a lot of work. Don't let your attention to that battle get sidetracked!

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        • #19
          Originally posted by toronto_father2 View Post
          It would be therapeutic for me to do something. I cant see the child, mom is blocking reasonable access so if I cant spend time with the child and I`m not doing anything...why not hit the court house and log some time at the picket line...I`m not doing a call to action...its that in my sadness I have to do something productive...turn that sadness into action.
          I pulled a forest gump. Started running 10km a day. kept me sane. I also lost 45lb.

          It will get better brother. Stay healthy and fight like the devil. This site is excellent.

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by HappyMomma View Post
            Be careful here. I've read your previous post. You have a big battle ahead of you, and THAT is where you need to focus your attention. Protesting needs to take a backseat for now. Your new baby needs to know you and you CAN win but it will, unfortunately, take a lot of work. Don't let your attention to that battle get sidetracked!
            HM is right. I said fight, but fight smart. Really smart.

            Don't do anything that will cause you to be perceived as angry or unreasonable.
            Last edited by plainNamedDad44; 10-21-2013, 01:58 PM.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by Mother View Post
              I am all for it but how many cases you personally know when a father takes the children and moves them from the matrimonial home elsewhere, claims the primary custodian rights and acts as such and then the mother needs to prove in court that she has rights to be with the children at least 50% of the time, spending thousands of dollars in the process?
              And how many men do you know who throw their arms up in the air and say "the ex took my kids, the system is biased, whoa is me!" but haven't actually even TRIED to do something about it? I know SO MANY who would rather claim defeat and play the victim than actually fight for their rights. They have excuse after excuse. It's pathetic.

              It's so refreshing to meet the men on this board who stand up to their ex's instead of belly aching.

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by toronto_father2 View Post
                It would be therapeutic for me to do something. I cant see the child, mom is blocking reasonable access so if I cant spend time with the child and I`m not doing anything...why not hit the court house and log some time at the picket line...I`m not doing a call to action...its that in my sadness I have to do something productive...turn that sadness into action.
                You have, I assume filed in court for access ?

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by plainNamedDad44 View Post
                  You have, I assume filed in court for access ?
                  Yes all that is done, I just want to clarify that when I say action I mean in a peaceful positive manner...I`m not a hot head...

                  Ive been able to see the child once in 5 months....got a case conference coming up...well see how it goes...seeing the child once a month would be a huge improvement.....looking for more of course.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by HappyMomma View Post
                    And how many men do you know who throw their arms up in the air and say "the ex took my kids, the system is biased, whoa is me!" but haven't actually even TRIED to do something about it? I know SO MANY who would rather claim defeat and play the victim than actually fight for their rights. They have excuse after excuse. It's pathetic.

                    It's so refreshing to meet the men on this board who stand up to their ex's instead of belly aching.
                    I can tell you as someone who has spent over 785 days in the court system...in financial and emotional ruin. Has lost his wife (not my children's mother) but my wife. Men are not.just merely in a uphill battle...we are left bringing a butterknife to a gun battle. Even when armed with the little court ordered access...mom still denies access. All seemingly with the courts blessing as even when a judge does acknowledges moms wrong doing there is nothing more than a finger wag for contempt.

                    Yes there are men...fathers that choose to do nothing...but that's not what we're talking about here...its about those who are IMHO.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Originally posted by toronto_father2 View Post
                      It would be therapeutic for me to do something. I cant see the child, mom is blocking reasonable access so if I cant spend time with the child and I`m not doing anything...why not hit the court house and log some time at the picket line...I`m not doing a call to action...its that in my sadness I have to do something productive...turn that sadness into action.
                      Why not if you have time to picket, go into the court room and observe and learn.
                      So the next time your in front of a judge that you have watched before you'll know what to say and what not to say.
                      Last edited by involveddad75; 10-21-2013, 02:31 PM.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by toronto_father2 View Post
                        Yes all that is done, I just want to clarify that when I say action I mean in a peaceful positive manner...I`m not a hot head...

                        Ive been able to see the child once in 5 months....got a case conference coming up...well see how it goes...seeing the child once a month would be a huge improvement...lol...looking for more of course.
                        Good for you brother. I commend you for this.this.thinking out of the box and wish you luck.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by toronto_father2 View Post
                          Yes all that is done, I just want to clarify that when I say action I mean in a peaceful positive manner...I`m not a hot head...

                          Ive been able to see the child once in 5 months....got a case conference coming up...well see how it goes...seeing the child once a month would be a huge improvement.....looking for more of course.

                          Start taking parenting courses. Are you a new dad ? It doesn't matter, I have been a dad for 13 years and the judge noted that I took a number of these courses voluntarily showed a clear commitment.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by toronto_father2 View Post
                            Yes all that is done, I just want to clarify that when I say action I mean in a peaceful positive manner...I`m not a hot head...

                            Ive been able to see the child once in 5 months....got a case conference coming up...well see how it goes...seeing the child once a month would be a huge improvement.....looking for more of course.

                            Have a motion ready to file on the day of your case conference for shared access. If you and your stbx cannot reach an order on consent for access during the CC. FILE THE MOTION IMMEDIATELY.

                            Get affadavits from people who can attest to your character and skill as a dad if possible. Take those courses. Start paying child support if your not already.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by involveddad75 View Post
                              Why not if you have time to picket, go into the court room and observe and learn.
                              So the next time your in front of a judge that you have watched before you'll know what to say and what not to say.
                              Have you completed your Case conference brief yet ? Are you self rep? There is a lot to do if you are and want to win.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by HappyMomma View Post
                                And how many men do you know who throw their arms up in the air and say "the ex took my kids, the system is biased, whoa is me!" but haven't actually even TRIED to do something about it? I know SO MANY who would rather claim defeat and play the victim than actually fight for their rights. They have excuse after excuse. It's pathetic.

                                It's so refreshing to meet the men on this board who stand up to their ex's instead of belly aching.
                                Just don't be so angry. "You are angry Jupiter, therefore you are wrong" - they say.

                                Read what's being discussed here and by whom. Allthough I don't know the exact male/female split % on here, it seems the men are domineering in the department of fighting for their rights to be with their children in a sense the system is biased and is against them when it supposed to be equally fair.

                                No offence. Peace.

                                Comment

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