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Mu wife filed for divorce a months ago. She put joint custody and she to be primary caretaker. Also put that I pay lawyer's fees. Today she is seeing her lawyer and we will see what she has to say.
here are the facts.
1: The child spent over 90% of the time with me. I payed medical bills for the child, took him to the doctor alone for the last 6 months. Cooked for him, bathed, washed his laundry, changed his diapers etc.
2: My wife didn't pay any child support.
3: My wife received roughly $8000 of CCTB and told me she paid off her debt with it and later said she didn't and asked me not to ask her where the money is.
4: She took all our assets. (furniture etc). She came with the police and lied to police I might damage the furniture
so the cops told me they took photos of the furniture and appliances. (But instead of ruining the goods, I helped my wife transfer them to her rental storage because she needed help, because we planned to reconcile). I wish I knew the law better and had told the cops only judge will decide what belongs to whom.
5: She never bought a ounce of milk for our child when he is with me roughly 6 out of 7 days a week.
6: I literally begged her to spend more time with the child, even if it means a few hours a day, and I would drive him to her and back. She never accepted. (I have text messages)
7: She once put our child in daycare when we both were unemployed. Small children are better off with parents or other caring family members than have someone care for him who gets paid for it. (Daycare is OK in most other circumstances)
8: Our child complained to have been abused by a caretaker and had a bruise on his back. I took him to the doctor and called a lawyer for an advice. I pulled the child out of daycare. My wife sent me a text message (I have it saved) saying "Don't you dare to call child protective services because they may investigate ME and MY family and I could lose the child". So instead of fighting for her child, she stopped me from investigation.
9: Child is 2.5 I took him off the bottle. She took him once for 2 days and he was right back on. I have text messages about that too. Now his teeth started to decay.
10: She told me she can't watch the child because there is another toddler in the house and they fight and make mess. (Isn't it a mother's job to resolve those problems). I have it on text message.
11: I have text messages that prove the child was with me for at least 30 days in the last 3 months.
12: I have doctor's visits proof, medications I paid for and how many times i called the health link to ask them for advice when my child was feeling sick.
13: I have a daily journal since end of June that has lots of photos of my child where I took him etc. (I have a calendar as well, short version of journal)
14: Her family never called to see how is the child and my wife sometimes wouldn't call either for 2-3 days.
15. I might be able to get witnesses if my neighbors agree because they see me every day with the child.
16: One day, even though I told her ahead, it was a Sunday, I had to work. I told my wife in advance I will bring the child to her. When I called she said she can't watch him because she is painting her mom's basement. I took the child to work with and gave the customer a discount to babysit my child. The customer says she will witness if need to.
17: My wife told me it is OK to hit our child and told me to encourage my parents to hit him when he is disobedient. (Have text message)
18: She told me she wants to "ground" him for a few hours for being disobedient. I said it is a good idea until she told me she wants to lock him in the room alone. I said don't even think about it. (No proof of that one)
19: My family lives with me and they would testify.
20: I have an aggressive lawyer.
21: In 4 months since she left she got a cellphone bill of over $4000 that went to collection. I know it is irrelevant but it does throw some colours on her.
Facts from her side: She repeatedly said in text messages and phone communications that she loves him so much and always asked me to take good care of him. And I do believe she loves him, but he is simply not her #1 priority
Now, in my responce I included: Despite that I was primary caretaker and she didn't contribute anything to the child, I am still offering 50/50 shared custody on 4 days rotation, will drop retroactive CS, will forget the money she received from CCTB and "lost it". Also I said I will pay half of her credit card that we spent together. I don't want any of the assets back.
I think this is more than fair.
If she refuses it, either she or I will likely file for interim order until we see the final judge.
Yes, she may lie her teeth out etc but i am ready to take on those challenges.
Now you be the judge. go ahead be bias to her side. What would you decide in this case based on what I wrote.
PS. In marriage we took the care of the child about equally.
here are the facts.
1: The child spent over 90% of the time with me. I payed medical bills for the child, took him to the doctor alone for the last 6 months. Cooked for him, bathed, washed his laundry, changed his diapers etc.
2: My wife didn't pay any child support.
3: My wife received roughly $8000 of CCTB and told me she paid off her debt with it and later said she didn't and asked me not to ask her where the money is.
4: She took all our assets. (furniture etc). She came with the police and lied to police I might damage the furniture
so the cops told me they took photos of the furniture and appliances. (But instead of ruining the goods, I helped my wife transfer them to her rental storage because she needed help, because we planned to reconcile). I wish I knew the law better and had told the cops only judge will decide what belongs to whom. 5: She never bought a ounce of milk for our child when he is with me roughly 6 out of 7 days a week.
6: I literally begged her to spend more time with the child, even if it means a few hours a day, and I would drive him to her and back. She never accepted. (I have text messages)
7: She once put our child in daycare when we both were unemployed. Small children are better off with parents or other caring family members than have someone care for him who gets paid for it. (Daycare is OK in most other circumstances)
8: Our child complained to have been abused by a caretaker and had a bruise on his back. I took him to the doctor and called a lawyer for an advice. I pulled the child out of daycare. My wife sent me a text message (I have it saved) saying "Don't you dare to call child protective services because they may investigate ME and MY family and I could lose the child". So instead of fighting for her child, she stopped me from investigation.
9: Child is 2.5 I took him off the bottle. She took him once for 2 days and he was right back on. I have text messages about that too. Now his teeth started to decay.
10: She told me she can't watch the child because there is another toddler in the house and they fight and make mess. (Isn't it a mother's job to resolve those problems). I have it on text message.
11: I have text messages that prove the child was with me for at least 30 days in the last 3 months.
12: I have doctor's visits proof, medications I paid for and how many times i called the health link to ask them for advice when my child was feeling sick.
13: I have a daily journal since end of June that has lots of photos of my child where I took him etc. (I have a calendar as well, short version of journal)
14: Her family never called to see how is the child and my wife sometimes wouldn't call either for 2-3 days.
15. I might be able to get witnesses if my neighbors agree because they see me every day with the child.
16: One day, even though I told her ahead, it was a Sunday, I had to work. I told my wife in advance I will bring the child to her. When I called she said she can't watch him because she is painting her mom's basement. I took the child to work with and gave the customer a discount to babysit my child. The customer says she will witness if need to.
17: My wife told me it is OK to hit our child and told me to encourage my parents to hit him when he is disobedient. (Have text message)
18: She told me she wants to "ground" him for a few hours for being disobedient. I said it is a good idea until she told me she wants to lock him in the room alone. I said don't even think about it. (No proof of that one)
19: My family lives with me and they would testify.
20: I have an aggressive lawyer.
21: In 4 months since she left she got a cellphone bill of over $4000 that went to collection. I know it is irrelevant but it does throw some colours on her.
Facts from her side: She repeatedly said in text messages and phone communications that she loves him so much and always asked me to take good care of him. And I do believe she loves him, but he is simply not her #1 priority
Now, in my responce I included: Despite that I was primary caretaker and she didn't contribute anything to the child, I am still offering 50/50 shared custody on 4 days rotation, will drop retroactive CS, will forget the money she received from CCTB and "lost it". Also I said I will pay half of her credit card that we spent together. I don't want any of the assets back.
I think this is more than fair.
If she refuses it, either she or I will likely file for interim order until we see the final judge.
Yes, she may lie her teeth out etc but i am ready to take on those challenges.
Now you be the judge. go ahead be bias to her side. What would you decide in this case based on what I wrote.
PS. In marriage we took the care of the child about equally.
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