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  • #16
    Correct, you are not in court, but Dad2B is suggesting you will be there again. Your ex hates that you have and want relationships with your kid. Likely hates the fact it’s going to be 50/50. You will likely end up in court again frivolously in attempts to undo your agreement. A high conflict person like your ex cannot let it go and live peacefully with sharing the kid

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    • #17
      What LovingDad1234 says...

      2021 is awhile off yet. I'm not sure how much you saved, on the "agreement", as I know that happened over the last few months, and it sounds like there was a mediator, and still lawyers involved anyway? But at least you have something in writing now, for later.

      Anyway, it's very clear from this thread, and your others, that your ex is not agreeable to 50/50 (despite what she says/signed), and I'm quite sure you will be in court down the road, either because of her trying to say it's not in kids' best interests, or maybe even sooner, when you find the stunts she will pull in the meantime, unacceptable.

      So make sure you document this petty, non-child focused behaviour/actions, for later. It will help show why 50/50 is needed.

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      • #18
        It wont be court. We agreed to goto med/arbitration if we dont agree to 50/50 when the time comes.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by HardWorkingDad View Post
          It wont be court. We agreed to goto med/arbitration if we dont agree to 50/50 when the time comes.
          Do you have a written procedure for choosing the arbitrator?

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          • #20
            It must be one that we both choose.

            I think I would forgo mediation and go straight to arbitration.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by HardWorkingDad View Post
              It must be one that we both choose.
              What happens if you cannot agree?

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Janus View Post
                What happens if you cannot agree?

                Then the 50/50 schedule continues until we both agree on a suitable arbitrator.

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                • #23
                  What is going to happen when she starts arguing that 50/50 is not in the kid's best interests....where her only argument is in accordance with her view?

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
                    What is going to happen when she starts arguing that 50/50 is not in the kid's best interests....where her only argument is in accordance with her view?

                    I have emails where I have reached out offering to help with kids more. The ex is denying time with their father over and over banging the "kids mental health drum". I will continue to reach out and continually get denied with defensive emails.


                    All I can do is show that I have tried to be there continually but as of late, strangers have been given the care of my kids in these covid times.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by HardWorkingDad View Post
                      It wont be court. We agreed to goto med/arbitration if we dont agree to 50/50 when the time comes.
                      [If we cannot choose an arbitrator] Then the 50/50 schedule continues until we both agree on a suitable arbitrator.
                      To summarize:

                      1) Schedule goes to 50/50 in 2021
                      2) If she disagrees, then it goes to arbitration
                      3) If you cannot agree on an arbitrator then schedule goes to 50/50 in 2021

                      Either you are confused, or she signed the dumbest deal ever. Just insist that your best friend be the arbitrator and you automatically get 50/50 in 2021.

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by HardWorkingDad View Post
                        I have emails where I have reached out offering to help with kids more. The ex is denying time with their father over and over banging the "kids mental health drum". I will continue to reach out and continually get denied with defensive emails.
                        Is there the possibility that she says you have continuously tried to circumvent your agreement and not follow it? Trying to open it up in advance of you reaching 50/50? Possibly even say that you are difficult as parent for not living peacefully with agreement that is in place? Possibly even suggesting you two are high conflict in communications and not appropriate for joint custody?

                        Moreover, once you reach 50/50, she can try to argue that she herself wants to open up the agreement (as you wanted to during covid) and argue that the kids are accustomed to her having the lion's share of time in the time leading up to 50/50, and that the kids aren't adjusting to 50/50 for said reasons (ie: their mental health) and therefore 50/50 is not in their best interests. Argue that they have become so accustomed to being with her and set in their ways, and weasel out of your 50/50 agreement.
                        Last edited by LovingDad1234; 04-22-2020, 12:34 PM.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
                          Is there the possibility that she says you have continuously tried to circumvent your agreement and not follow it? Trying to open it up in advance of you reaching 50/50? Possibly even say that you are difficult as parent for not living peacefully with agreement that is in place? Possibly even suggesting you two are high conflict in communications and not appropriate for joint custody?

                          Moreover, once you reach 50/50, she can try to argue that she herself wants to open up the agreement (as you wanted to during covid) and argue that the kids are accustomed to her having the lion's share of time in the time leading up to 50/50, and that the kids aren't adjusting to 50/50 for said reasons (ie: their mental health) and therefore 50/50 is not in their best interests. Argue that they have become so accustomed to being with her and set in their ways, and weasel out of your 50/50 agreement.
                          She could but having recently brought in a roommate that the kids dont know, to watch over them while she goes to work I think is a strong argument in my favor should she try to back out of 50/50.
                          I have a paper trail of many defensive resists to Dad offerring to have more time with the kids.

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Janus View Post
                            To summarize:

                            1) Schedule goes to 50/50 in 2021
                            2) If she disagrees, then it goes to arbitration
                            3) If you cannot agree on an arbitrator then schedule goes to 50/50 in 2021

                            Either you are confused, or she signed the dumbest deal ever. Just insist that your best friend be the arbitrator and you automatically get 50/50 in 2021.

                            I think if she would have to go through the court system if I was to stall enough.

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by HardWorkingDad View Post
                              She could but having recently brought in a roommate that the kids dont know, to watch over them while she goes to work I think is a strong argument in my favor should she try to back out of 50/50.
                              I have a paper trail of many defensive resists to Dad offerring to have more time with the kids.
                              There will be lots of people that the kids do not know who will have an influence in their lives. Teachers, new partners to parents etc. That isn't a valid reason for or against 50/50.

                              Comment

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