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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #21  
Old 04-15-2011, 12:32 PM
LostFather LostFather is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hmgrace1@gmail.com View Post
I guess I am going buy literature I have read but you are so right i googled it came up with what you say.

To end this i would just like to say my experience in my situation I was the one being abused by my partner and so the children emotionally as was the family pet physically. I was emotionally, sexually (physical in the bedroom).financially abused.
i do agree there are many woman who are abusers as I have a sister in law that was abusive also to her children.

I was here to seek help for advice on court matters

but i do appreciate the correction in the matter that there are many abusive woman in our society. My own experience was I was the one abused.
I hope I have not offended anyone here.

i am really just looking for support.

thanks
There are groups out there though theis is short....just have to Google for your area
  #22  
Old 04-15-2011, 12:39 PM
TLCRN TLCRN is offline
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Do you have legal representation or self represented? Having been involved with two OCL lawyers, I can tell you that in order to be on the Board they need many years of experience as Family Law lawyer,and training. They are representing the children, but was told in an email by one of them, that they DO NOT write reports for the courts as they are not doctors, but make recommendations. They obtain information by interviewing the parents, going to the children's school, obtain information from third parties (children's school, CAS, therapists). I would request from the OCL lawyer and your lawyer an Order for the Court to Order an "assessment" to be done by a certified child psychologist who does a thorough assessment by interviewing the parents, children, do play therapy with each children and parents individually, obtain information from third parties including medical records with consent of the party involved, police report, notes from the access centre; who also interviews the significant others including the extended family of both parties, backgrounds and so forth. In other words, they dig deep. It is costly but worth it in the long run, financially and time wise. If a party wishes not to cooperate with the psychologist doing the assessment, then there is something not right. The children's wishes are always taken into consideration depending on their age. I advise people not to involve the children in their legal battle, it's not their fault but the parents~
  #23  
Old 04-15-2011, 12:41 PM
LostFather LostFather is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slughead10 View Post
A recent 32-nation study by the University of New Hampshire found female students initiate partner violence as often as male students and controlling behavior exists equally in perpetrators of both sexes

A University of Washington study recently found women were nearly twice as likely as men to perpetrate domestic violence in the past year including kicking, biting or punching their partner, threatening to hit or throw something at their partner, and pushing, grabbing or shoving their partner

Virtually all sociological data shows women initiate domestic violence as often as men, that women use weapons more than men, and that 38% of injured victims are men. California State University Professor Martin Fiebert summarizes almost 200 of these studies online.

A recent study in the Journal of Family Violence found many male callers to a national hotline experienced high rates of severe violence from female partners who used violence to control them.


Some scholars suggest that the motives for intimate partner abuse against men by women may differ from those for abuse against women by men, and that women suffer more severe injuries than men. Nonetheless, the occurrence of abuse by women against men, and its consequences, warrant attention. It is important for the victims of abuse, whether they be men or women, to know that they are not alone – that is, that such experience is not unique to their personal situation. It is also important for the perpetrators of intimate partner abuse – men or women – to recognize that violence in any form is both morally and legally wrong.

California State University surveyed 1,000 college women: 30% admitted they assaulted a male partner. Their most common reasons: (1) my partner wasn't listening to me; (2) my partner wasn't being sensitive to my needs; and (3) I wished to gain my partner's attention.



University of Pennsylvania Professor Richard Gelles states: "Contrary to the claim that women only hit in self-defense, we found that women were as likely to initiate the violence as were men. In order to correct for a possible bias in reporting, we reexamined our data looking only at the self-reports of women. The women reported similar rates of female-to-male violence compared to male-to-female, and women also reported they were as likely to initiate the violence as were men," in his article reprinted at The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence








women cry wolf men and children suffer
When woman use children to deny access to men to me this is form of abuse that often goes unchecked or punished by the court. With at times nothing more than a finger wave.
  #24  
Old 04-15-2011, 12:46 PM
hmgrace1@gmail.com hmgrace1@gmail.com is offline
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I came here for advice and feel i must leave because i cannot handle all of this i feel like Im being attacked and all I can remember all the memories resurfacing of how i was treated in my marriage I am sorry to all you men I have offended as I truly did not mean to attack you or make you feel this way.I was raped anally...I have flood lights all around my house I have my windows and doors locked all the time. I am afraid to be touched and have much (social) anxiety.
i am VERY sorry for offending you all I am just looking for support.

Please..............
  #25  
Old 04-15-2011, 01:11 PM
TLCRN TLCRN is offline
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I am sorry to hear and wondered myself where this was going....do NOT let this affect you as most of us are here for support and help you if we can, keeping in mind every case, situation is different. Until one has gone through what you have, some people cannot possibly imagine how you feel and what you have to do...hang in there. Please refer to my post re' chidlren's lawyer. It was mean in reply to your prior post re" Children's Lawyer and nothing to do with topic of statistics.
  #26  
Old 04-15-2011, 01:19 PM
LostFather LostFather is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hmgrace1@gmail.com View Post
I came here for advice and feel i must leave because i cannot handle all of this i feel like Im being attacked and all I can remember all the memories resurfacing of how i was treated in my marriage I am sorry to all you men I have offended as I truly did not mean to attack you or make you feel this way.I was raped anally...I have flood lights all around my house I have my windows and doors locked all the time. I am afraid to be touched and have much (social) anxiety.
i am VERY sorry for offending you all I am just looking for support.

Please..............
I am sorry for what you've been through. Having said that i believe you opened the door a bit when you started talking about stats and abusive men. There are many in here with opinions and many that have suffered other abuses. In my opinion the answers you get in here may not always be what you want to hear and they're just that...opinions...ignore the ones you don't like...accept the one you do...but keep in mind that some answer in here that you don't like....you should not always dismiss, as the information maybe helpful....and i stress may...if you want legal opinion then you should seek a lawyer...one that fits your needs.
  #27  
Old 04-15-2011, 01:26 PM
hmgrace1@gmail.com hmgrace1@gmail.com is offline
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I agree i opened that door was not my intentions to offend you all.
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