Originally posted by paco
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As the other posters have said, you need to be child-centirc here, and you need to show that you are able and willing to work with your ex. Given that you've got at least two incidents of police involvement, your ex taking refuge in a shelter, an OCL report followed by a court order for sole custody for her, and a recommendation for parenting counselling for you, that's going to be an uphill battle. I'm not saying that all of these things are justified, but the fact that they form part of your record is going to make this a long struggle for you.
My suggestions are:
1. Go to parenting counselling. You may think you don't need it (no one ever thinks they need it), but it shows that you are willing to work and co-operate.
2. Get some form of communication with your ex going. One way to do this would be with the help of a professional mediator. You could set out some ground rules, like sending no more than one email a day, emails will only address issues relating to the children, no text or phone calls unless it's a grave emergency. Your ex might not want to mediate or abide by a mediated agreement, but it's important to show you are trying.
3. Have a closer look at the access schedule proposed by the judge. Can you live with this? In six months, you will have your children every other weekend and Wednesday night. That's much better than what you have now. I would stop trying to think in terms of "attacking" the OCL report or proving parental alienation, and think of what you can do to ensure that access goes smoothly and you can scale up to having more regular contact with your kids.
4. Are you paying child support? If not, time to start.
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