I always like a lively debate but I certainly don't want to start a war..lol
I'd like to get peoples opinions on spousal support...and how if at all it impacts on the idea of equal rights for women..on one hand it would seem in some cases such as a stay at home mom in a marriage of 20+ years would seem to be entitled to spousal..after all she stayed home and raised the children sacrificing her right to have a career etc...I think most people would agree that in such a case spousal support is reasonable, for a agreed upon amount of time. So that scenerio aside....
But also with equal rights for women..isn't being able to stand on your own two feet without having to rely on a man the whole basis? That women are just as capable as men? If so then why this almost automatic response of 'she deserves spousal support'.. Does it not still feed into the idea that a woman needs a man...or how else will she get by?
And if the situations were reversed - excluding the 20+years stay at home parent scenrio..but if a man went after spousal support..and I know that some do... would the public outcry be deafening.....would women be expected to pay just as men are...
And one more point to ponder..given that divorce rates are astronimcally high these days it is reasonable to grant spousal support to anyone leaving a marriage less then 10 or so years? Sure nobody plans to get divorced, but the reasonably intelligent beings that humans are ( or can be anyways ), isn't it reasonable to take some personal responsibility and make sure that you have solidified your future for yourself and not rely on someone else....if you spouse died (God forbid) you wouldn't stand there saying 'somebody owes me some money' and the paltry sum the government provides in benefits is surely not enough to live on.
Now before anyone calls for my execution..lol Let me say I am female, I am divorced, I did receive spousal support for one year and I was the one who brought it to an end, after many months of missed payments.. I discovered that it is far better to determine my own path than let someone decide when or if they might pay me..and frankly I didn't think he should have to pay. I put myself though college and got a great job in which I will never have to wait on somebody else so I can pay my bills. I don't have a wealthy family, and nothing was handed to me..everything I got I earned myself..it wasn't easy but I did it.
So is spousal support a good thing? What kind of restrictions would you like to see? Is there a time frame for the receiver that they become self sufficient? Or perhaps in lieu of spousal support the payor pays the cost of tuition and books for classes of a skilled trade in which the person can actually gain some marketable skills?
And remember the words..'friendly debate'...this is not an attack on anyone or meant to be demeaning or to imply anyone should be trying harder...we're just talking here.....
I'd like to get peoples opinions on spousal support...and how if at all it impacts on the idea of equal rights for women..on one hand it would seem in some cases such as a stay at home mom in a marriage of 20+ years would seem to be entitled to spousal..after all she stayed home and raised the children sacrificing her right to have a career etc...I think most people would agree that in such a case spousal support is reasonable, for a agreed upon amount of time. So that scenerio aside....
But also with equal rights for women..isn't being able to stand on your own two feet without having to rely on a man the whole basis? That women are just as capable as men? If so then why this almost automatic response of 'she deserves spousal support'.. Does it not still feed into the idea that a woman needs a man...or how else will she get by?
And if the situations were reversed - excluding the 20+years stay at home parent scenrio..but if a man went after spousal support..and I know that some do... would the public outcry be deafening.....would women be expected to pay just as men are...
And one more point to ponder..given that divorce rates are astronimcally high these days it is reasonable to grant spousal support to anyone leaving a marriage less then 10 or so years? Sure nobody plans to get divorced, but the reasonably intelligent beings that humans are ( or can be anyways ), isn't it reasonable to take some personal responsibility and make sure that you have solidified your future for yourself and not rely on someone else....if you spouse died (God forbid) you wouldn't stand there saying 'somebody owes me some money' and the paltry sum the government provides in benefits is surely not enough to live on.
Now before anyone calls for my execution..lol Let me say I am female, I am divorced, I did receive spousal support for one year and I was the one who brought it to an end, after many months of missed payments.. I discovered that it is far better to determine my own path than let someone decide when or if they might pay me..and frankly I didn't think he should have to pay. I put myself though college and got a great job in which I will never have to wait on somebody else so I can pay my bills. I don't have a wealthy family, and nothing was handed to me..everything I got I earned myself..it wasn't easy but I did it.
So is spousal support a good thing? What kind of restrictions would you like to see? Is there a time frame for the receiver that they become self sufficient? Or perhaps in lieu of spousal support the payor pays the cost of tuition and books for classes of a skilled trade in which the person can actually gain some marketable skills?
And remember the words..'friendly debate'...this is not an attack on anyone or meant to be demeaning or to imply anyone should be trying harder...we're just talking here.....
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