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  • forced sale of matramonial home

    Hi


    My spouse and lawyer want to sell the matrimonial home.
    I want to buy the home but I can't get financing or an idea of what I can afford until the separation agreement is done.
    They are threatening to file a motion to force me to sign the listing agreement.
    The original temporary agreement said I had to get a mortgage etc and an appraisal but appraisals are higher that market value and I already said what is the problem with getting a mortgage.
    There was a brief moment where I was OK with selling the house but that was it.
    How do I win that motion do delay the sale?

  • #2
    You don't get an appraisal from a real estate person. Use a professional appraisal company. Your bank could give you name of company.

    If you delay selling the home then lawyers will make more money. I'd get the place sold and then start thinking of purchasing something within your means. Don't forget, your home will cost money to sell (lawyer & real estate bottom-dweller). Also, go into your bank and talk to them about pre-qualifying for a mortgage. That will give you an idea of what you can and can not afford.

    Sometimes good things are worth waiting for.

    Comment


    • #3
      have you even checked to see if you qualify for a mortgage? Yes i realize you are not sure about how much the equalization will be but you can see how much you could get pre-approved for, it maybe for alot less then you think and you wouldnt be able to get a mortgage anyways.

      Did you get your own appraisal done? My ex and I each had our own done and they were very close.

      There was an agreement for you to get mortgage approval and you need to follow it. He is well within his rights to get an order forcing you to sign to sell the house.

      Why do you not agree with the appraisal? You say it is higher then market value but they do have access to the comps and what the places actually sold for.

      You need to get to a bank and get pre-approved then go from there. If you need less from the bank after equalization then you wont have to borrow as much.

      Comment


      • #4
        1. Until a settlement the amount of child support and spousal support is not known. So maybe I can afford it maybe I cannot. I should be able to but it is unknown.

        2. I did go to an appraisal company. The house was appraised as 20% higher than market by them.

        So what I want to do is buy the house.
        I thought I should have a right to buy it but the ex is holding up the finances.
        How do I stop a motion to sell the house until the settlement?

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by summersimmer View Post
          My spouse and lawyer want to sell the matrimonial home. I want to buy the home but I can't get financing or an idea of what I can afford until the separation agreement is done.
          As a general rule, people are allowed to sell their property. In general, you cannot stop that, unless you can show that it will cause irreparable damage, or there are some children involved who will be inconvenienced.

          At this point you should have a good idea of the marital assets, so I'm not sure why you need the separation agreement to figure out if you have the means to purchase the house. As others said, go to the bank, tell them you expect to need a mortgage of $X to get the house (and pay off the ex), and see what they have to say.

          The original temporary agreement said I had to get a mortgage etc and an appraisal but appraisals are higher that market value and I already said what is the problem with getting a mortgage.
          Keep in mind, even if you magically find a lower appraisal, your ex does not have to accept it. A very possible result could be both of you spending more on lawyers than the difference in your positions on the price of the house. It isn't worth spending $20,000 on lawyers to save $15,000 on the house. (note that you actually have to get a $30,000 reduction in house price to save 15k. Offhand, even if you do this motion on the cheap, you're looking at $12,000, which means you probably need an appraisal that is about $40,000 to $50,000 lower to make it worth the risk, or perhaps even more).

          There was a brief moment where I was OK with selling the house but that was it.
          Why are you not ok with it now? I ask out of curiosity only, it likely does not matter at all. You are almost certainly going to be eventually forced to sell the house.

          How do I win that motion do delay the sale?
          You have to show that you have the means to purchase to house, and that given time you will indeed be able to effect the purchase. You might possibly have to offer to pay occupational rent during the interim period while you figure out how to sell the house. You probably have to go to the bank and get something in writing saying that they are willing to lend you the money, given your single income and the increased value of the mortgage.

          Alternatively, if you have young children, say that they will be devastated if the house sells, or some variation on that theme.

          Note that if you lose the motion, you could easily end up paying thousands of dollars in costs to your ex (in addition to your own costs). That could really hurt your ability to afford a different house that you might actually like. Stopping a house sale is not even close to a slam dunk win in any case. You have a very good chance of losing the motion.

          Comment


          • #6
            thanks.

            children involved
            and
            why a separation agreement is needed was already stated......payments have not been sorted out.

            Comment


            • #7
              Is parenting schedule sorted out?

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Janus View Post
                Is parenting schedule sorted out?
                There is a temporary order that will/should change and there is a section 30 still in progress.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by summersimmer View Post
                  There is a temporary order that will/should change and there is a section 30 still in progress.
                  To clarify: I meant do you anticipate having the kids mostly living with you, or do you anticipate having shared custody?

                  If you anticipate having the kids live mostly with you: Child support is predictable, and spousal support is also likely predictable within a range. Make some conservative estimates for spousal, and then go to the bank and find out if you can afford the house. There is no need to wait for the final order.

                  If you anticipate shared custody: It is unlikely that you will be able to afford the house, since both of you now have to have a house. Sell the house.

                  If you anticipate a fight over custody: Sell the house. Once you and your ex have paid your lawyers, neither of you will be able to afford the house. Might as well sell it now and at least avoid that fight.

                  To summarize: The only way you are keeping the house is if you are guaranteed primary custody of the kids. If you are guaranteed such a custody arrangement, your final support numbers are very predictable, so there is nothing stopping you from going to the bank tomorrow and getting approved for the mortgage based upon those numbers..

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Sorry Janus but you don't have enough information to come to a conclusion on whether or not I can afford the house.
                    Banks won't provide a loan based on "this is what is should look like" they need final separation agreements.

                    I just want to know how to fight the motion.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      To fight the motion, you need to show you have the means to purchase the house.

                      To show you have the means to purchase the house, you need to estimate some numbers, and get pre-approved from the bank. This is not the same as getting the loan, the bank will obviously not loan you a penny until you have proof in writing that you are actually getting the support you claim you are going to get.

                      ...as for not knowing enough to say if you can afford the house with shared custody... call it a feeling

                      (If you are guaranteed custody, you can fight the motion by trying to get exclusive possession. Be prepared for massive legal bills though if you go that route because it will likely bring an unbearable amount of pressure on your ex which will force him to fight)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        too cynical, however, I think I have a better idea of what needs to be done.

                        thank you.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          ... it isn't a feeling... it really is a good response based on years of experience with the same question asked again and again that nets the same result. You will be forced to sell the home and move.

                          Exclusive possession is "temporary" and will only go to the end of June when school ends generally.

                          If you need "support" to survive you won't qualify for a mortgage unless the other party to this has been married to you for 10+ years and makes well over 250,000$. It is simply math.

                          Unless you live in a trailer in Timmins that is worth 30K. Everywhere else homes are over 350,000 generally. Worse if you are in Southern Ontario.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            You guys should stick to the question asked.
                            No one cares what your opinion is on my ability to buy out the spouse based on your psychic hotline experience. sheesh!

                            Me? I care about holding off the sale until a the final settlement so I can work the numbers, that is all.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              to be fair- read your quote below. YOU have said- that whether you can afford it depends on spousal and child support...and everyone on here has said you should not be relying on the support as an income stream for the purposes of a mortgage.

                              I can't even get a pre-approval because the proceeds of our sale are held up in trust. And I qualify for more than what our mortgage was worth....so what everyone keeps says is that you should just sell.

                              Can I ask what the hesitation is? Are your kids in the school district? can you downsize?



                              Originally posted by summersimmer View Post
                              1. Until a settlement the amount of child support and spousal support is not known. So maybe I can afford it maybe I cannot. I should be able to but it is unknown.

                              2. I did go to an appraisal company. The house was appraised as 20% higher than market by them.

                              So what I want to do is buy the house.
                              I thought I should have a right to buy it but the ex is holding up the finances.
                              How do I stop a motion to sell the house until the settlement?
                              how is your ex holding up the finances? If you are looking to buy him out- you should already have a sizeable amount to buy out his equity?

                              Comment

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