My ex and i separated in Oct 05', divorced in august 10' 2 children, 14 years married and always had an amicable and agreeable arrangement with regards to our 2 children 16 & 12.
The orginal agreement was i would have them sun supper to thurs supper, he would have them thurs supper- sun supper. approx. 40% + each.
This worked for year 1, year 2 he changed jobs and couldn't take them to school and would drop them back off friday morning so i could get them ready and off to school and he would pick them up after school. After school sometimes turned into 7pm and sunday supper slowly turned into sunday afternoon. He never attends school meetings, never takes them to the doctor or dentist, never does homework on weekends with them, never does their laundry before sending them home, never buys their clothes, never takes them for haircuts or participate in extra curricular interests or take care other day to day needs. It's just a fun weekend for all or sometimes lately I think its something he does to avoid full support payments.
It has always been important to me that the kids know their dad and his family as i do not have family. I wanted them to grow and know their cousins and grandparents and participate in family events. I did not want their lives to change drastically and although we are at odds, the kids come first. However just like in our marriage, i am once again doing all the raising.
In 2008 he chose to move 45 minutes away from the city that the kids grew up in and i still reside in, to buy a house and take on a job that is 2 hrs away and pays him a rediculous amount of money. He has been able to pay off half his mortage, buy a cottage and 2 brand new vehicles fo himself, while i live pay check to pay check. This means that there is no physical way that he can share parenting.
Recently this amicable relationship has gone seriously south, he will not communicate with me at all. Not via email ....nothing. His recent decisions (that we have always been on the same page about their rearing) have been radical, unpredictable and out of character.
These recent actions make me believe that I need to file for sole custody immediately and protect my children and their future.
eg. He has met a woman with a daughter online late last summer, he flew to Russia in November to meet her, he's proposed to her (good luck to her) and plans on marrying her in Russia in March. He has to sign a legal document agreeing to support her and her daughter for the next 10 years in order for the immigration to proceed. Her daughter is 17 now.
Here's the kicker, when we separated he made 53k and I made 40k. and agreed to pay $400 based on our original shared parenting arrangement. He has never disclosed to the courts or me how much he truly makes. i just found out that he makes 133k and i make 62k and he is only spending 29% of the time with his children and continues to pay only $400/month instead of the table amount of $1795.
My fear is if I do not get something in writing before this immigration goes through that the courts will say he has an obligation to the new Russian family first. That my daughters future university dreams will be discarded, and that he may up and take them to Russia without my permission.
Would they consider retro support payments from his years of manipulation and avoidance of what he knew he should've been paying? Will they put the needs of his new family ahead of his biological children?
please help...i need some quick advice.
thanks
The orginal agreement was i would have them sun supper to thurs supper, he would have them thurs supper- sun supper. approx. 40% + each.
This worked for year 1, year 2 he changed jobs and couldn't take them to school and would drop them back off friday morning so i could get them ready and off to school and he would pick them up after school. After school sometimes turned into 7pm and sunday supper slowly turned into sunday afternoon. He never attends school meetings, never takes them to the doctor or dentist, never does homework on weekends with them, never does their laundry before sending them home, never buys their clothes, never takes them for haircuts or participate in extra curricular interests or take care other day to day needs. It's just a fun weekend for all or sometimes lately I think its something he does to avoid full support payments.
It has always been important to me that the kids know their dad and his family as i do not have family. I wanted them to grow and know their cousins and grandparents and participate in family events. I did not want their lives to change drastically and although we are at odds, the kids come first. However just like in our marriage, i am once again doing all the raising.
In 2008 he chose to move 45 minutes away from the city that the kids grew up in and i still reside in, to buy a house and take on a job that is 2 hrs away and pays him a rediculous amount of money. He has been able to pay off half his mortage, buy a cottage and 2 brand new vehicles fo himself, while i live pay check to pay check. This means that there is no physical way that he can share parenting.
Recently this amicable relationship has gone seriously south, he will not communicate with me at all. Not via email ....nothing. His recent decisions (that we have always been on the same page about their rearing) have been radical, unpredictable and out of character.
These recent actions make me believe that I need to file for sole custody immediately and protect my children and their future.
eg. He has met a woman with a daughter online late last summer, he flew to Russia in November to meet her, he's proposed to her (good luck to her) and plans on marrying her in Russia in March. He has to sign a legal document agreeing to support her and her daughter for the next 10 years in order for the immigration to proceed. Her daughter is 17 now.
Here's the kicker, when we separated he made 53k and I made 40k. and agreed to pay $400 based on our original shared parenting arrangement. He has never disclosed to the courts or me how much he truly makes. i just found out that he makes 133k and i make 62k and he is only spending 29% of the time with his children and continues to pay only $400/month instead of the table amount of $1795.
My fear is if I do not get something in writing before this immigration goes through that the courts will say he has an obligation to the new Russian family first. That my daughters future university dreams will be discarded, and that he may up and take them to Russia without my permission.
Would they consider retro support payments from his years of manipulation and avoidance of what he knew he should've been paying? Will they put the needs of his new family ahead of his biological children?
please help...i need some quick advice.
thanks
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