Thread: Hands Tied
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Old 07-26-2012, 10:31 AM
Momymonkey Momymonkey is offline
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Default Hands Tied

I feel like Im banging my head against the wall.................and fear that I have finally given up!!

6 months ago - My x called to discuss bad smoking habits by our 15yr old. Cigarettes and weed. Made some suggestions, but they were not approved

2 months ago - Our 15yr old was expelled from school indefinetly due to bringing a knife to school. After investigation it was agreed that he would see school council and he would be allowed back to school as they don't believe there was any malicious intent. The suspension was for 4 days. He stayed with me those 4 days and we caught up on all his overdue homework. I spoke with the school councilor and it was determined that he was fine and if needed to talk more he was to make an appointment with her..............That is all I was allowed to know about........... I'm the NCP(yes we have joint custody with primary res with Dad)

Present time - I just finished my 5wk summer access with my 15 yr old son. While my son was with me, he was sat down and explained all the rules of the house. The #1 rule was that he was to have no friends in the house while we were not home. My current husband works shifts so his time at the home was always different during the work week. It went well for a few weeks then everything went to hell in a hand basket. I discovered he had other kids in the house and booze started going missing and he would come home hours past his curfew, even a few times I went searching for him at 1am & when I found him he was stoned. I would ground him and when I would get home from work he would be gone and I would have to find him again ..............after 4wks I was pulling my hair out and just felt like giving up. By the 5th week, he had broken the camels back................he took the car to his Dad's, taken money, and drove back, damaging the car when he tried to back it into the garage. Unfortunately we did not discover it for a few days(we don't drive that vehicle often). As we did not catch him red handed, can we be really sure that he did it?????? He did fessed up a few days later I just thank god nothing happened to him or anyone else while he was making the biggest mistake of his teen life!!

The car is in my husbands name with my husbands insurance. My husband drives professionally and cannot afford to have any bad press against his insurance/license or it could affect his job.

I hate that I made this decision but Im not taking the risk of my husband losing his job if anything like this happens again...............I told my ex that our son was not allowed to come over unless he was willing to earn our trust back.

Of course that started a huge battle and naturally so...............

I have spoken with Youth Services, there isnt much I can do without CP permission, but he will never give it if I suggest it..............How do I make him see that our son needs help!?!?!?!?! Im tired of fighting!!