I am hoping this will be therapeutic, as I just need to rant.....
My ex over the past few years has been pleasant, leaning towards actually fairly good to deal with. However, over the past 6 months, it feels like we've gone back to the "bad old days", as she is hostile and accusatory in most communications. She is pleasant as pie to your face, but then you get some passive aggressive email or text later.
I feel things all changed when she got a new job. She had to move to a new city about an hour from where she was, and about 45 minutes from me (she was previously about 35 minutes from me, but she moved the opposition direction from where she used to live and given the way the highways work, the math ends up this way). After she moved she lost her main support network, being her parents. They used to do everything for her. Drive our kid to her activities, pick her up from school, take her to certain doctors appointments. Now her parents are an hour away and can't help like they had. So now she actually do this on her own, and is complaining like crazy.
She is now constantly accuses me of not helping with school and our kids activities. I have taken days off to take our daughter to the specialists and stuff like that, and am taking days off to go to competitions. But her complaints are that I don't drop her off at school or her activities, that she has to do it all, like she is actually uggg, ...... a single parent...... (my observation). She was the one that fought me for sole custody and wanted to relegate me as an EOW parent. I wanted 50/50, to be there more, but she was having none of it. Eventually I fell on my sword, as I was done with the fighting and didn't have the funds for a prolonged custody battle, when she would just go her parents who have deep pockets.
I would love to do more, but even if I did quit my job and got one closer, I bet she would complain that c/s would be reduced. Jobs that way pay less than 1/2 what I make now. So that would impact a lot of her expenses, as my current income pays 65% of the s7 costs. But my income I feel is also a point of contention, as I've managed to increase it about 25% over the past 2 years and I've been hearing the "you've got more money than me" shots when complaining about costs of stuff. I've also heard similar comments from my kid, so I know the ex is talking about it with her.
Which leads me to my next point, the ex treats our child like her best friend. It is my understanding (possibly wrong, but I've been around long enough to make the call) that he social circle is small. She has had boyfriends over the years, she was engaged at least twice. But none of them stuck around as things always turned sour..... and then I became the focus on all that is bad in her life......
I know being a single parent is hard. I appreciate her efforts. I do try where I can. But I cannot be there daily due to the fact that she moved again (her 4th move in 6 years). Hell, if I had moved to be closer to her last time, I'd be even further away. I just feel like she is taking her issues out on me because I am the easy target.
I've moved on with my life. I got married, I bought an awesome house, I provide well for our child. I love my kid. I'd love to be there full time, and would make the necessary accommodations if that ever happened. Part of me wants to tell her that if the current custody arrangement is too burdensome for her, I'd gladly switch with her. But that would be starting WWXXVI, because god forbid someone criticize her. She would go off on me, and then drag our kid into like she has before.
It is tough right now because nothing is good enough for her, and she simply isn't a particularly nice person. She wasn't when we were together. She was better when she was in a relationship, because there was another target that was closer. But she ruined those relationships to (I spoke to one of her ex's, he left because she was unbearable and was negatively impacting his kids. Which is fact, as I could see the blatant favoritism).
Anyway, just needed to vent. I know she is acting out because her life isn't how she envisioned it. I know it isn't easy being a single parent. But instead of bringing everyone around her down, why doesn't she try to find solutions where others can help. (ie. the shuttling to activities can be done by Uber, our is a teenager).
My ex over the past few years has been pleasant, leaning towards actually fairly good to deal with. However, over the past 6 months, it feels like we've gone back to the "bad old days", as she is hostile and accusatory in most communications. She is pleasant as pie to your face, but then you get some passive aggressive email or text later.
I feel things all changed when she got a new job. She had to move to a new city about an hour from where she was, and about 45 minutes from me (she was previously about 35 minutes from me, but she moved the opposition direction from where she used to live and given the way the highways work, the math ends up this way). After she moved she lost her main support network, being her parents. They used to do everything for her. Drive our kid to her activities, pick her up from school, take her to certain doctors appointments. Now her parents are an hour away and can't help like they had. So now she actually do this on her own, and is complaining like crazy.
She is now constantly accuses me of not helping with school and our kids activities. I have taken days off to take our daughter to the specialists and stuff like that, and am taking days off to go to competitions. But her complaints are that I don't drop her off at school or her activities, that she has to do it all, like she is actually uggg, ...... a single parent...... (my observation). She was the one that fought me for sole custody and wanted to relegate me as an EOW parent. I wanted 50/50, to be there more, but she was having none of it. Eventually I fell on my sword, as I was done with the fighting and didn't have the funds for a prolonged custody battle, when she would just go her parents who have deep pockets.
I would love to do more, but even if I did quit my job and got one closer, I bet she would complain that c/s would be reduced. Jobs that way pay less than 1/2 what I make now. So that would impact a lot of her expenses, as my current income pays 65% of the s7 costs. But my income I feel is also a point of contention, as I've managed to increase it about 25% over the past 2 years and I've been hearing the "you've got more money than me" shots when complaining about costs of stuff. I've also heard similar comments from my kid, so I know the ex is talking about it with her.
Which leads me to my next point, the ex treats our child like her best friend. It is my understanding (possibly wrong, but I've been around long enough to make the call) that he social circle is small. She has had boyfriends over the years, she was engaged at least twice. But none of them stuck around as things always turned sour..... and then I became the focus on all that is bad in her life......
I know being a single parent is hard. I appreciate her efforts. I do try where I can. But I cannot be there daily due to the fact that she moved again (her 4th move in 6 years). Hell, if I had moved to be closer to her last time, I'd be even further away. I just feel like she is taking her issues out on me because I am the easy target.
I've moved on with my life. I got married, I bought an awesome house, I provide well for our child. I love my kid. I'd love to be there full time, and would make the necessary accommodations if that ever happened. Part of me wants to tell her that if the current custody arrangement is too burdensome for her, I'd gladly switch with her. But that would be starting WWXXVI, because god forbid someone criticize her. She would go off on me, and then drag our kid into like she has before.
It is tough right now because nothing is good enough for her, and she simply isn't a particularly nice person. She wasn't when we were together. She was better when she was in a relationship, because there was another target that was closer. But she ruined those relationships to (I spoke to one of her ex's, he left because she was unbearable and was negatively impacting his kids. Which is fact, as I could see the blatant favoritism).
Anyway, just needed to vent. I know she is acting out because her life isn't how she envisioned it. I know it isn't easy being a single parent. But instead of bringing everyone around her down, why doesn't she try to find solutions where others can help. (ie. the shuttling to activities can be done by Uber, our is a teenager).
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