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Old 03-05-2020, 03:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Googlelawstudent View Post
I am obviously very new to this, so i apologize if this is a silly question:
The legal system is byzantine: like that Waxman guy says, there are no stupid questions. Unlike Waxman though, we are free.

First, a clarification:

1) Separation Agreement

This is where you sign an agreement that determines issues such as custody, parenting time, child support, and spousal support. You should have had one 5.5 years ago, and you definitely DO need one of these right now if you want to get a mortgage.

2) Divorce

You usually need a separation agreement to get a divorce. You do NOT need a divorce unless you are getting remarried. Another reason to get a divorce is if you want to sign up for eHarmony, I think they require a divorce.

Why would a divorce risk me losing time with him? Wouldn't a divorce support a schedule by having it in writing?
Well, the SA causes the risk, not the divorce. The problem is that when you ask to put it in writing, your ex may go to a lawyer. The lawyer will tell her that it is important that she keeps more than 60% of the parenting time. She may unilaterally start to restrict your time with your child to keep you under 40%. You live VERY far from your child, she could easily make a case that you should be a non-custodial parent (NCP). Honestly, unless you move closer, you probably will become one of those very shortly.

As for my reason for wanting a divorce: I would like to eventually apply for a mortgage, which cannot be approved without a SA or divorce decree indicating my support obligations.
True, you do need a separation agreement.

but she isn't willing to sit down and do it with me.
So she will have to be forced. This may not be friendly. You may lose time with your child. You will almost certainly be forced to pay table support.

I think you need to move towards your kid before you start this game. Offhand, I would say that being within 20km should be enough, but that's a really rough estimate. Ideally you would want to be in the school district of kid's school.

Going for this agreement might be devastating, get advice from others here, and proceed cautiously.
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