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Child support - retroactive issues

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  • #16
    Yes, my ex was paying daycare directly - 45% of the total fee, although according to percentages, my ex should have been paying 60% (my ex makes more).

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    • #17
      No, I didn`t agree to a lower amount of cs. At that time of the agreement, that was all my ex could afford, given their debt load ratio.

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      • #18
        The amount agreed upon was all my ex `said`` they could afford at the time. i know if the roles were reversed, when I got back on my feet, I would pay the retro. All I know is that it`s money owing to the CHILD (and it just happens to be the parent that manages it). So, I would have to think shame shame shame on the parent that essentially `cheats`` their own children. When a child is born, both parents have a financial obligation to this child. Sure, circumstances can factor into it, but my ex`s income is 150k, and if they have a huge house, cars, toys 9boat and a few other things), and are at their debt load for various loans and lines of credits and payments, how is that my fault when I attempted to let them lower their cs payment temporarily until they get back on their feet and sell some of their assets. 2 years later, the assets are all still for sale....so that tells me that the price is too high and that they are not interested in selling or changing anything, right.
        I am not a money grabbing person, I just have a friend who is struggling to have her older son in University in the USA (a specific program only offered at one university there an none in Canada). She didn`t put enough money away for education, and now she has thwo jobs and her 75 year old parents just put a mortgage on their home (which was fully paid).

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        • #19
          Sounds like you were totally sucked in by your ex. OF course he's going to tell you he's broke - they always do. Not your problem though and court will be quick to remind him he has a duty to provide support for his children.

          I'd got to court and let your ex explain things to the judge (he will have to provide full financial disclosure or end up having his income imputed much higher than he current earns - his choice). You could provide the emails you sent him requesting money which would show that you didn't sit idle.

          What your ex does with his money (up his nose or living large) is really irrelevant. Decision will be made on what his income is and what he is supposed to pay in C/S.

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          • #20
            Child support - retroactive issues

            Agree with Arabian. Like I said, file a formal request for support. He will have to provide financial details for the last three years. Attach your emails to him as evidence. Attach any proof he paid the daycare as proof of his payment of S7 and go from there. Stop engaging with him and ignore his lawyers bullshit. When you get full financial disclosure, calculate what he should have paid and request that be paid into an RESP.

            I went back and reread your original post. You do have a lawyer. Just sit tight and let a judge decide. Regardless of what your ex says, he wasnt paying household expenses while he was in this imaginary relationship. Keep us posted.
            Last edited by rockscan; 09-18-2015, 11:17 AM.

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            • #21
              All your responses have been very helpful. I hate to waste the money on the legal route with lawyers, but the time is flying by and his lifestyle doesn`t look like it`s going to change any time soon. He threatened he would stop paying his share of daycare all together if I created the application. Received a verbal from him this morning that he will not pay daycare anymore until all this gets sorted out and has cancelled all future cheques for daycare. Wish I had that in writing, but next month (when I have to foot the full bill for daycare) that should speak volumes in court.
              Thanks so much for your great advice. I will certainly keep you posted.

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              • #22
                Child support - retroactive issues

                Send him an email saying something like "thank you for your call, please confirm you will not be paying your share of daycare going forward. If I do not hear from you by five pm today I will advise the daycare to cash the cheques provided with the nsf fees payable to you." Or something to that effect. Close it with "i will no longer be taking your calls, please keep all communications to email only" and then stop answering his calls.
                Last edited by rockscan; 09-18-2015, 12:59 PM.

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                • #23
                  Wow....that`s good. I will do that.

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                  • #24
                    But what`s still puzzeling to me is for them to quickly return their response to my application and include that they believed that we were in a relationship. Relationship or not....two people living apart (separate houses)....the CS still has to be paid at some point.

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                    • #25
                      Based on a recent experience, even if you have it writing, that he agreed to a lower amount, your ex could still be on the hook for retro child support.
                      Good luck.

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                      • #26
                        Stop worrying about his response. Hes going to say whatever he wants or can say to try to get out of paying. The onus is on him to prove it. Otherwise he has to explain WITH PROOF why he didnt pay it and why he didnt update. The federal child support guidelines are clear.

                        You have a lawyer, they will know how to handle it. Just file his incredulous statements and responses that you know arent true under G for garbage in your brain.

                        Look at so many others who have been called abusers. People will say ridiculous things to get away with stuff.

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                        • #27
                          Unless there is a very good reason - (family debt is actually a good reason) - he will be obliged to pay full support.

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