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  • #16
    In that case....offer to toss it into an RESP. That way momster can't get her hands on it, AND it has direct and long term benefit to the kidlet.

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    • #17
      This is a typical example of how useless 4-way meetings can be. All that is accomplished is everyone gets pissed off at each other and logic disappears.

      Do not agree to SS at this time. Request she go and get another medical opinion. I doubt a doctor will write that she is incapable of working. Many people support themselves with this disease.

      I would fight this whole thing quite vigorously. Because the bio dad is a deadbeat shouldn't be your problem. I'd be the biggest prick you can be and then, months down the road make an offer. I think at this point it's just muscle flexing on the part of the lawyers. Recognize it for what it is.

      RESP is a very good thing to offer. Stay strong.

      Comment


      • #18
        well, the latest??..the stbx's lawyer faxed my lawyer an offer to settle...basically the EXACT same thing we discussed at the 4 way weeks ago where her and her lawyer walked out of the conference room because my lawyer and I wouldn't agree to full cs for her child and UNLIMITED spousal for her!!

        my lawyer sugested I read it over anyways..the OTS states in opening letter that I have until the 8th to reply (case conference is on the 11th) and if I decline, I'll be subject to paying HER bill (stbx's lawyer) also (I know...it's a common threat).

        My lawyer seems confident if it goes to CC, it'll benefit me immensely. I'm going to agree wholeheartedly...is part of the reason I hired a lawyer, correct??

        can anyone here in this thread give me a quick rundown on what to expect during the CC??..do both lawyers get a chance to state their opinions of their clients??

        Comment


        • #19
          Usually the "applicant" speaks first, then the "respondent". If there is agreement on any issues the judge can make orders. Otherwise it moved forward.

          Counter with a reasonable offer to settle without prejudice. If the continue to push, make sure you request costs as well. Make sure you and your lawyer are on the same page so he doesn't agree to things without your consent.

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by NBDad View Post
            Usually the "applicant" speaks first, then the "respondent". If there is agreement on any issues the judge can make orders. Otherwise it moved forward.

            Counter with a reasonable offer to settle without prejudice. If the continue to push, make sure you request costs as well. Make sure you and your lawyer are on the same page so he doesn't agree to things without your consent.
            Thanks NBdad..yea the lawyer and I are on the same page..again as I mentioned my lawyer doesn't agree with the full cs (chase after bio dad also..he's on fro as it is) and a limited ss (I was common law for 11 years, no need for unlimited ss!! That's insane)

            The lawyer did a good job replying to the applicant right after I got served!! My responses to the applicants "demands" were well thought out!!

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            • #21
              again, going over the offer to settle from the stbx and her lawyer, I noticed that the stbx and her lawyer have mentioned that once the child is done school (this June) she's planning on taking a year off and MAYBE attending local college in Sept '14

              they've stated in the OTS that come June, because the child will not be in school, the ss should be increased due to the fact that the stbx is no longer collecting any cs!!!

              does that even make sense??...is that a common move??

              wow!!

              Comment


              • #22
                again, going over the offer to settle from the stbx and her lawyer, I noticed that the stbx and her lawyer have mentioned that once the child is done school (this June) she's planning on taking a year off and MAYBE attending local college in Sept '14

                they've stated in the OTS that come June, because the child will not be in school, the ss should be increased due to the fact that the stbx is no longer collecting any cs!!!

                does that even make sense??...is that a common move??

                wow!!

                Yes, thats a standard move. When CS ends, the other party can and usually does ask for more SS. BTW my SA has a clause that says if the child is no longer in school, and then goes back, they can be supported again. If it had to be added, then I am thinking it isn't standard, you may want to investigate.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
                  again, going over the offer to settle from the stbx and her lawyer, I noticed that the stbx and her lawyer have mentioned that once the child is done school (this June) she's planning on taking a year off and MAYBE attending local college in Sept '14

                  they've stated in the OTS that come June, because the child will not be in school, the ss should be increased due to the fact that the stbx is no longer collecting any cs!!!

                  does that even make sense??...is that a common move??

                  wow!!

                  Yes, thats a standard move. When CS ends, the other party can and usually does ask for more SS. BTW my SA has a clause that says if the child is no longer in school, and then goes back, they can be supported again. If it had to be added, then I am thinking it isn't standard, you may want to investigate.
                  OK thanks Downtrodden..so is it usually granted (the SS increasing when the CS stops??)..

                  as for the child and school, yes it states in the OTS that while she's out of school for that year, the SS will increase until she goes to college the following year (I'd be surprised if she does after a year off) and then it's right back to CS and SS (deducted back down to regular amount cuz of the CS obligations) payments as well as section 7 expenses.

                  I mean there's so many minute details here it's crazy!!

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Yes, thats a standard move. When CS ends, the other party can and usually does ask for more SS. BTW my SA has a clause that says if the child is no longer in school, and then goes back, they can be supported again. If it had to be added, then I am thinking it isn't standard, you may want to investigate.[/QUOTE]

                    you've lost me here DTD...so your SA states that if your child is no longer in school, decides to take some time off, then goes back after a year (let's say) that because of that year off, you DON'T have to start paying CS again, or you agreed you WILL start paying CS again??

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Leviathan View Post
                      they've stated in the OTS that come June, because the child will not be in school, the ss should be increased due to the fact that the stbx is no longer collecting any cs!!!

                      does that even make sense??...is that a common move??
                      If CS was for the child, then of course it would not make sense. But CS is for the lifestyle of the recipient, so if the recipient is getting less money through CS, then she has to get it through SS.

                      I think that the end of CS represents a material change in circumstances, and that your ex can apply to the courts at that time for a variance in SS. I don't see the value to you now of agreeing to a situation that may or may not be true in June. Without the guaranteed paycheck, maybe by June she'll have a job? Or maybe another man to take care of her if she cannot be an adult and take care of herself?

                      I would respond that you will agree to support issues based on the current circumstances, not on a hypothetical future.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Janus View Post
                        If CS was for the child, then of course it would not make sense. But CS is for the lifestyle of the recipient, so if the recipient is getting less money through CS, then she has to get it through SS.

                        I think that the end of CS represents a material change in circumstances, and that your ex can apply to the courts at that time for a variance in SS. I don't see the value to you now of agreeing to a situation that may or may not be true in June. Without the guaranteed paycheck, maybe by June she'll have a job? Or maybe another man to take care of her if she cannot be an adult and take care of herself?

                        I would respond that you will agree to support issues based on the current circumstances, not on a hypothetical future.
                        Hey Janus:

                        yea she's working...maiking 29-32,000 a year (she's a seasonal worker) and is fighting hard for ss and cs..her daughter graduates this June, hence the reason cs stops and her lawyers pushing for an additional 500/mth to be added onto her ss when I syop the cs.

                        it's all a load of crap to be honest...this woman has had everything handed to her since day one (previously to me) from everyone from her father on up..

                        I like the suggestion you've mentioned for the support issues based on the current circumstances, NOT the future!! I'm going to mention that.

                        I honestly thought CS was more based on the child..I mean the guidelines are based off my annual salary and 1 child, correct??

                        anyways...this is going to be a LONNNGGG battle from what I can tell...the 4-way meeting was a mess (asking for an undetermined length for ss), the stbx and her lawyer stormed out because my lawyer and I didn't agree to the amount and length (if she deserves any really)...a week passes and then they faxed my lawyer stating "ohhhh...ok...let's discuss a LIMITED amount of ss then."

                        needless to say, my lawyer wants to push it through to the cc and get some advice from a judge because the stbx and her lawyer are truthfully way out there!!

                        I mean right when we 1st all sat down during the 4-way, her lawyer states she's NEVER used support calculater or divorcemate to determine any of her ss cases in her 21 year history..C'mon...really??

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Agree with Janus. If you're going to agree to pay any amount of SS, push for a specificied end date to the SS, and agree to allow them to include a clause that she can apply to court for a review of SS upon any material change in circumstances.
                          Last edited by Exquizique; 02-27-2013, 09:35 AM. Reason: added qualification

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Exquizique View Post
                            Agree with Janus. Push for a specificied end date to the SS, and agree to allow them to include a clause that she can apply to court for a review of SS upon any material change in circumstances.
                            The cs will apparently end in June Exquizique. The step daughter is done HS and then plans to take a year off (where truthfully she won't be going to college, trust me...if she does, it'll be a 8 month hairdressing course).

                            of course, the stbx's lawyer realizes this and is why she's wriitten in the offer to settle that the stbx's ss should increase during the time that her daughter is out of school.

                            I'm hoping (and really praying) that regardless of what her daughter does, let's leave the ss set at the minimum amount and duration.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Its a standard tactic, but if you argue it correctly it should not increase.

                              If the child is over 18 and takes a year off, they should be working and paying their own way.

                              Spousal and cs are separate entities. Whether or not the child returns to school should have no bearing on spousal.

                              Simple indicate for cs that it'll be paid as long as the child meets the requirements to be a "child of the marriage".

                              Tell her to pound sand on spousal.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Don't know the complete details of your situation, but based on what i've read here so far:

                                I don't think she has a strong case for SS. If i were you, I would stick to my guns on offering NO SS until she proves entitlement. I don't know her age, but if she's in her 30s to 40s, that's still considered "young" enough to have quite a few good working years ahead of her. She has a job. She's worked throughout the entire relationship. She doesn't pay any rent or mortgage because she lives in her father's place. The daughter will be graduating HS and from the sound of it will cease to be a "child of the marriage" until some kind of plans for post-secondary education are settled on. It would be completely different if she did not work throughout the relationship and is still caring for young children. I really don't see strong entitlement (if any at all) to SS on her end.

                                If CS is slated to end in June, you may want to concede a bit and offer full table CS that will terminate once the daughter graduates from HS. Thereafter, say that you will consider contributing to S7 expenses in the form of post-secondary education costs for the daughter AFTER the mother's, the bio-dad's and the daughter's contributions are factored in, and ONLY IF full proof of enrollment for a full course load is provided, proof of passing grades is provided periodically, and the daughter discusses her post-secondary plans with you to show that she does indeed have some kind of concrete career plan that post-secondary education would support.

                                That would be a fair offer.


                                Originally posted by Leviathan View Post
                                The cs will apparently end in June Exquizique. The step daughter is done HS and then plans to take a year off (where truthfully she won't be going to college, trust me...if she does, it'll be a 8 month hairdressing course).

                                of course, the stbx's lawyer realizes this and is why she's wriitten in the offer to settle that the stbx's ss should increase during the time that her daughter is out of school.

                                I'm hoping (and really praying) that regardless of what her daughter does, let's leave the ss set at the minimum amount and duration.

                                Comment

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