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10 years, renting his father's home.

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  • 10 years, renting his father's home.

    My common-law husband and I have been together almost 10 years and have 2 children together. We have always, but for one year, rented his father's house. My "husband" has lived in the house since he was 12 with his father until his father moved in with his girlfriend and left the house for my husband to stay in. He did not give him the house, i.e. sell the house to him, just let him continue to live here rent free. When I came along we had a child very early in our relationship and I moved into this house rather quickly. Then his dad wanted rent which we pay. Now 10 years later I want out to continue an affair, but he wants me out of this house. Other than his father selling house from underneath me, can I be kicked out of this house? We have both paid rent, but he has been the only one working full-time. I have been at home raising the children and tending to the house while periodically (in between my two pregnancies) working part-time. I now work from home but make very little money. I suffer from severe migraines and having a full time job has always been difficult as most employers can't sustain an employee that has 4 or 5 days off in a row a couple of times a month. This is why I set up my own business at home, but I am not capable, as of yet, of making a fulltime wage because it's a production based business and I have to work towards a full-time wage. Even at full-time, I won't make enough to support myself and the kids 50/50. I have always been told that it's in the interest of the children to have their lives stay the same as much as possible during a separation or divorce and it makes sense to me that I stay here with the kids. Logistically it's impossible for me not to unless I have another place and the kids are there with me during the day. If they stay here and I move out (which I can't afford) he won't be able to get the kids ready for school or send them for daycare. I will, of course, have them as well but on days when I don't he won't have the ability to do this.

    Any thoughts?

  • #2
    it just sounds like your best bet is to move out,. Having his father as a landlord could cause problems for you in the future. If you get along with the father/landlord then it may work out for you.

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    • #3
      What does the father of the children want with respect to physical custody - 50/50, every other weekend, plus wednesday?

      He may easily learn to take care of the kids for his half of the time if he wants equal custody, which is usually best for the kids.

      As for the house, the father owns it and if he wants you out he will be able to figure a way, so I would plan on moving. On the other hand maybe everyone can come to an agreement that lets you stay if your husband does not want equal custody.

      If he does want equal custody, you moving out may be the best bet as all things considered if he was not as hands on as you, being in the family home but with dad as the caregiver may be the least stress on the kids, as opposed to them being in a strange place AND with dad taking care of them. I stayed in the matrimonial home and have 50/50 custody and I think this helped me in the beginning as I did more with the kids (though I was always very hands on dad).

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      • #4
        That is interesting advice. I'm assuming you mean that since I have been the primary caregiver all these years that when they are with me they already are comfortable in that aspect and would only have to deal with a new place as opposed to dad suddenly being their caregiver as well AND a new place. I don't foresee any acrimony between us, we are very good friends and quite sensible, at least when it comes to the well-being of the kids. There would be equal opportunity to care for and be with our children. That part has been discussed already many times as this is not the first time we have considered a split.

        I was wondering about the legality of having to leave this house immediately if he does have issues in the beginning. I have no place to go and since I have been a stay-at-home mom for so long I do not have the income to do this on my own, at least initially. I will do everything I can, but as I stated I am extremely limited by my health.

        Thanks for the advice. Any ideas about the house issue though?

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        • #5
          I also meant to add that I appreciated a dad's point of view with regard to staying in the matrimonial house AND learning to care for the children.

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          • #6
            what is your relationship like with his fathe who is the landlord?If it isn't that great then you would have to always worry about what he is going to do and therefore will not have a stable place to live.

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