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Old 12-24-2005, 04:10 AM
sasha1 sasha1 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2005
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Originally Posted by Aden
I feel for you, in my own situation my ex has a big trust problem which is affecting our own issues and has for a long time, due to an alcoholics inlfuence in her life long before I ever met her, and it really hits home all of the deceit etc.... same type of patterns you mention.
I used to come home and spend all of my time with our kids and I would do anything not to cause any problems for them in anyway, sounds like you have your hands full.
That is one of the reasons I am being so gracious to my ex.
She`s a great Mom.
It sounds like you have a plan though and I find that a plan can be the best thing to enable you to move forward.
Keep your head held high, you sound like a great Mother and you have put up with alot of issues.
I wish you well.
Good Luck!!
Aden, thank you for your sympathy and compliments! I feel for you, trying to deal with someone so scarred by her past issues, and that is precisely why I won't be dating again for quite some time. I think it's human nature to learn from our mistakes, but it's human error to punish those we encounter for others' mistakes. I hope that your ex is able to come to appreciate your patience and understanding; I'm sure your kids will, in the long run. If it helps at all, my parents divorced when I was 18, and from the very day that my Mom left, my Dad was respectful about her. I was angry and disgusted with her, I knew my Dad wanted to work things out, and she wouldn't even try, but still my Dad kept insisting I respect her, and never said a negative thing to me about her; nor did he tolerate MY negative comments. It got to where my Dad refused to even discuss the situation if I said anything nasty about my Mom, and he'd tell me that she is my Mother; whether I liked or understood her actions, she deserved my respect simply because she was my Mom. Now 15 years later, I love and admire my Mom again, but will never forget that when she left my Dad, he all but chewed his tongue off to keep from saying anything bad about her, but she still indulges from time to time in her complaints. Keep that in mind, and know that you really are doing so much good for your kids by putting your relationship issues aside and setting an example for them of respect for their Mom. It's a very generous and unselfish thing you're doing; one most people find impossible. Kudos!