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Old 06-05-2018, 06:52 PM
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Rioe Rioe is offline
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Originally Posted by Breezer View Post
My eldest is in uni but still lives at home. My youngest is graduating hs this spring andgoing away to college in the fall. Upuntil now, spousal and child support would have been mostly offset but with oneleaving I would owe him. We are going tomediation shortly. I am not fightingover equalization payment, but I cannot accept to pay him spousal support. Any insight/experience anyone can providewould be appreciated.

Several observations about this:

You can't forgo CS. It is the right of the child to be supported by both parents.

If you have been offsetting CS and SS and calling it a wash up to now, then you have already accepted that he is entitled to SS. You have set a precedent. You can't just stop paying the SS because the CS he pays you is now dropping.

If both kids are still in school and not working, then CS should continue. Or depending how you calculate it, instead of paying the same CS to you, he'd be paying you increased s7 expenses for the child living away.

And lastly, you loved him and said you would support him in sickness and in health. He didn't ask for this accident and severe brain injury. He didn't made a conscious choice to become an angry jerk and trigger a separation. He wasn't deceiving you about his true personality and trying to take advantage of you.

I get that he's not the man you married any more. I get that you don't want to support him and it rankles that you have to do fair equalization, especially since it sounds like he didn't really pull his own weight before his accident. But your emotions are irrelevant. The fact that his family helps him with rent and transportation is irrelevant.

He has an income, through disability, work benefits, whatever. Find out what the amount is from his tax return, or impute it to a more appropriate amount if taxes make that amount inaccurate. Find out how it compares to yours, and if there is an entitlement to SS. If his disability compensation is meant to be income replacement, maybe SS wouldn't be high, or there at all. Find out what his CS amount is. Keep equalization, SS and CS separate. Leave the emotion out of it, and do the math.
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