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  • Support Not on time what to do?

    For the past four months, FRO has been depositing three separate deposits for spousal and child support.

    Fro had to garnish as he would not pay otherwise.

    Our court order states the first of the month I am to be paid support.

    My question is;
    Is it not still the responsibility of my ex to make sure his employer gets the garnishments to Fro in time for the first of the month? I have tried to ask him to speak to his employer, and ask them to deposit on time? He does not care. He does not want to pay me support, nor did he. He told me that it comes of his cheque and he doesn't want bothering him about it.
    I can understand him believing that he is paying support as ordered, however, it is now the 13th of the month and Ive only received a quarter of the whole payment. deposited today. It is messing things up for me as it has only been the past 6 months it is always late. Same amount of time that it has been that he hired a lawyer to fight support all together. Im just frustrated as the date was put in the order and not being followed.

  • #2
    be thankful you are getting support even if a little late. If he is under a garnishment order then I would say its the responsibility of fro to make sure the order is being followed. IMHO.

    Its really not something I would worry too much about as long as you are getting the whole amount in the month. If its messing up things for you then tighten your own budget. Never depend on that money especially when its an ex, who according to you, never wanted to pay.

    Comment


    • #3
      As a payor of support and user of FRO, I know that may employer deposits my paycheck into my bank on the 15th of the month and the last day of the month...on Fridays if those days fall on a weekend.
      My company also cuts a cheque to the FRO on those days for the ordered support payments.

      After that cheque is cut and mailed the process is completely out of my hands and my employers hands.

      There are issues with mail delivery from our office to FRO. Internal issues within FRO making sure that the envelope is delivered to the correct person and opened in a timely fashion.
      Issues with depositing the money into the FRO bank and then transferring it to my ex.....
      All of these things take time......

      My ex tells our children that she can't afford things because "daddy has not paid his support", when the issue is a systemic one and not my fault.

      I even offered to email the funds to her on the day I get them so there is no waiting. She refuses.
      I just think that she would rather have something to complain about than not...

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      • #4
        Thank you for your input. I will leave things as they are and not bother with it anymore. You are right, I should be thankful he's paying.

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        • #5
          Call the FRO case worker. Or at least budget so that you are not counting on the support to come on X day. It should be looked at as "extra income" not, "I'm going to lose my house/can't afford to eat" if it doesn't arrive income.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by NBDad View Post
            Call the FRO case worker. Or at least budget so that you are not counting on the support to come on X day. It should be looked at as "extra income" not, "I'm going to lose my house/can't afford to eat" if it doesn't arrive income.
            I get that. My ex though, does not. She is working only part time and cannot survive without my support money. But she asked to go through FRO.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Cobourg View Post
              My ex tells our children that she can't afford things because "daddy has not paid his support", when the issue is a systemic one and not my fault.
              ..
              That is so unkind.

              I had a friend whose "baby mama" took him to court for more money actually brought her 11 year old into the courtroom with her. Stupidity of some people never ceases to amaze me.

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              • #8
                Im just frustrated as the date was put in the order and not being followed
                Its not unusual for order dates to vary slightly to what FRO actually does in practice because of the differering pay periods that payors have. In addition, they take out a percentage not to exceed so they may need to split it up. The other possibility is that they've made arrangements with him to make the payments easier for him throughout the month.

                If you're getting the amount on time by the end of each month...you should be happy. Basically, you need to work around that by either becoming more self-sufficient so you don't have to rely completely on the payments or re-arranging your bills to be staggered out over the month so that they don't all hit at once at the beginning. You just have to call and set-up those dates with the various companies...its not that hard, they work around this stuff all the time.

                Your ex is right that he shouldn't be contacted about this...you need to deal with FRO in the event you have a problem. But I don't think this issue is really something that can't be worked around.

                I had a friend whose "baby mama" took him to court for more money actually brought her 11 year old into the courtroom with her.
                Part of the MIP literature now is to include "don't bring your kids to court with you"...so apparently people do this enough to warrant them warning people to not bring the kids.

                The other one I don't get is why people feel the need to bring the new gf/bf to court with them. If you're trying to get things resolved creating this kind of conflict seems counterproductive.

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                • #9
                  The judge told her he wouldn't hear the case until the kid was out. But in my opinion, just by the judge seeing the kid, she had already acomplished what she set out to do.

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                  • #10
                    The judge told her he wouldn't hear the case until the kid was out. But in my opinion, just by the judge seeing the kid, she had already acomplished what she set out to do.
                    I'm not sure what she set out to do but its hard to imagine a scenario in which this would work to someone's benefit...especially longterm if you're ever in front of the same judge again. Judges don't take kindly to these kind of disruptive antics.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post

                      The other one I don't get is why people feel the need to bring the new gf/bf to court with them. If you're trying to get things resolved creating this kind of conflict seems counterproductive.
                      So true. Mind you when someone claims on sworn statements that they live alone and they just so happen to bring their bf for whom they have lived together for the past 2 years. Well it doesn't help their effort in trying to obtain SS and it is always good for a laugh.

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                      • #12
                        He ordered the friend of mine to pay cs based on wages from 2009, which also turned out to be the most he has ever made. Due to fluctuations in the economy, he makes no where near this amount presently. He had always paid her on time, every single month the amount that they agreed on, plus he was paying for all extra curricular activities, plus the majority of his clothing. The friend of mine took a trip to the US last year for christmas and took the kid with him. After he had picked him up from the mom's and were packing his things, he had NO things. The mom refused to give him his clothes, insisting that the father purchase him a whole new wardrobe.

                        Honestly, if it was me, I would have taken my kid back to get the clothes or the kid would not of been coming with me.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by takeontheworld View Post
                          Honestly, if it was me, I would have taken my kid back to get the clothes or the kid would not of been coming with me.
                          You'd deprive the kid of a Christmas vacation and yourself of precious time with the kid over clothes? Like leaving the kid with the ex is supposed to be some sort of punishment for the ex?

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                          • #14
                            Not at all. But after I just spent money on the tickets and christmas presents and then because the other parent is trying to win some game or control me? Sorry, not happening. The child would either be appropriately ready or cant go.

                            Because when you start giving into that kinda crazy it will only continue. There will be other vacations.


                            And before you start to judge me...I'd advise you to think twice. I raise my child ON MY OWN, with NO FINANCIAL help at all. The father is beyond our borders. So he does not see her or provide for her in any shape or form. My extended family lives on the other side of the country. I take care of my child on my own. Unless you can honestly say that you do that, keep ignorant comments to yourself.
                            Last edited by takeontheworld; 09-13-2013, 02:25 PM. Reason: spelling

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by takeontheworld View Post
                              Not at all. But after I just spent money on the tickets and christmas presents and then because the other parent is trying to win some game or control me? Sorry, not happening. The child would either be appropriately ready or cant go.

                              Because when you start giving into that kinda crazy it will only continue. There will be other vacations.


                              And before you start to judge me...I'd advise you to think twice. I raise my child ON MY OWN, with NO FINANCIAL help at all. The father is beyond our borders. So he does not see her or provide for her in any shape or form. My extended family lives on the other side of the country. I take care of my child on my own. Unless you can honestly say that you do that, keep ignorant comments to yourself.
                              No one was judging you on your charecter, but on your opinion. Turns out you aren't in the same position as the poster who had the decision. So you don't have the same experience.

                              Personally I wouldn't deny my kids a vacation for the sake of buying some clothes. I wouldn't be happy, but I would put the needs of the kids and the promise I made over the night to appear right. If you let the other parent ruin your good time and the kids good time, you are letting the other parent have way too much power and control.

                              If you are going to attack everyone who has a different opinion, or who challenges your opinion, then this perhaps isn't a good forum for you.

                              Comment

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