Okay everyone, I'd appreciate some advice on this situation.
Background: one kid, 50/50, offset CS and S7 proportionate to income, I am the net payor. Divorce order says S7 will be reconciled twice a year, June and December. Because I pay most of Kid's extracurriculars, reconciliation always results in ex owing me money. In the past we have dealt with this by me deducting the amount ex owes me from the offset CS payment by mutual consent.
The situation: Our order says we reconcile S7 in June. As of now, it hasn't happened. There is no disagreement as to the appropriateness of S7 expenses or about the amount ex owes me, which is less than $100. However ex says he is not going to pay me this time, because reasons.
The context: In June we had a disagreement about how to calculate the income ratio for S7. Our calculations differed by half of a percentage point, if anyone cares to read about it just search an earlier thread from me about how to round numbers. We arrived at a compromise which gave neither of us exactly what we wanted but which both of us could agree to. Ex is still mad about this.
Ex says, in pretty much exactly these words, that he is not going to pay me his share of S7 because he believes I will not pay for Kid's after-school care in the fall and so he is justified in not reimbursing me for my S7 expenditures. He has also said that he is holding back S7 because I "do not respect our agreement", but has given no explanation about what is not being respected. If this sounds crazy, it's because it is. I might add that I have always paid S3 and S7 on the day and to the penny, and have also always paid Kid's out of school care costs fully and promptly.
I suspect the real issue is that he is broke and still angry. His stated reasons make no sense.
I have said (repeatedly) that I am willing to discuss his concerns, whatever they may be, but that refusing to pay S7 is not an option. I have asked if he would prefer to have me deduct from S3 as in the past, or give me a cheque, or suggest some other payment option. In return, I've gotten a stream of insults and vulgarities. Apparently I have been turning Kid's caregivers against him, fabricating emails, trying to take his money, lying to everyone, and am too stupid to do math, as well as being prissy because I object to being addressed with four-letter words.
The amounts involved are not great - he owes me less than $100 - but it's one of these don't-give-an-inch situations. I have learned from experience that if I give in on anything to keep the peace, it just encourages the crazy.
The question: what kind of trouble would I have if I just went ahead and deducted his share of S7 from upcoming S3 payments? I know that mixing CS and extraordinary expenses is considered a no-no, but I'm wondering if it might be justifiable in this case because we have a precedent for reconciling this way, and we agree that he owes me the money. He just refuses to give me the money because, again, reasons.
Opinions? Or other options which I may not have thought of?
Background: one kid, 50/50, offset CS and S7 proportionate to income, I am the net payor. Divorce order says S7 will be reconciled twice a year, June and December. Because I pay most of Kid's extracurriculars, reconciliation always results in ex owing me money. In the past we have dealt with this by me deducting the amount ex owes me from the offset CS payment by mutual consent.
The situation: Our order says we reconcile S7 in June. As of now, it hasn't happened. There is no disagreement as to the appropriateness of S7 expenses or about the amount ex owes me, which is less than $100. However ex says he is not going to pay me this time, because reasons.
The context: In June we had a disagreement about how to calculate the income ratio for S7. Our calculations differed by half of a percentage point, if anyone cares to read about it just search an earlier thread from me about how to round numbers. We arrived at a compromise which gave neither of us exactly what we wanted but which both of us could agree to. Ex is still mad about this.
Ex says, in pretty much exactly these words, that he is not going to pay me his share of S7 because he believes I will not pay for Kid's after-school care in the fall and so he is justified in not reimbursing me for my S7 expenditures. He has also said that he is holding back S7 because I "do not respect our agreement", but has given no explanation about what is not being respected. If this sounds crazy, it's because it is. I might add that I have always paid S3 and S7 on the day and to the penny, and have also always paid Kid's out of school care costs fully and promptly.
I suspect the real issue is that he is broke and still angry. His stated reasons make no sense.
I have said (repeatedly) that I am willing to discuss his concerns, whatever they may be, but that refusing to pay S7 is not an option. I have asked if he would prefer to have me deduct from S3 as in the past, or give me a cheque, or suggest some other payment option. In return, I've gotten a stream of insults and vulgarities. Apparently I have been turning Kid's caregivers against him, fabricating emails, trying to take his money, lying to everyone, and am too stupid to do math, as well as being prissy because I object to being addressed with four-letter words.
The amounts involved are not great - he owes me less than $100 - but it's one of these don't-give-an-inch situations. I have learned from experience that if I give in on anything to keep the peace, it just encourages the crazy.
The question: what kind of trouble would I have if I just went ahead and deducted his share of S7 from upcoming S3 payments? I know that mixing CS and extraordinary expenses is considered a no-no, but I'm wondering if it might be justifiable in this case because we have a precedent for reconciling this way, and we agree that he owes me the money. He just refuses to give me the money because, again, reasons.
Opinions? Or other options which I may not have thought of?
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