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Old 04-04-2006, 10:21 PM
brokendad brokendad is offline
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Default child alienation---please your help

I moved out of the family home at the reccomendation of the OCL so that my spouse who had placed herself in hiding , with the aid of FACS , would move the children back in rather then a shelter. She elected to move in with "friends".It was not until the OCL disclosure suggesting that I should have sole custody did she move back home. I had already been living in my own home by this time. At first my son was very happ y to visit ,he was proud of his room , his trains , and the toy room I had made for him and his sister. We had a play area in the yard and friends up the street. Alarge play park was a mere 8 houses away.
But over the course of the summer , particularily after a judge put some sense to our order in respect to vistation did the trouble begin. My ex carries on at every exchange as if the children have just came home from there first military detail and we are only a few minutes across town. her attics telling them of how much she missed them , after a four hour visit are over the top at best. She totally ignores me , will answer no questions about the children .
picks them up a scurries inside locking the door vehind her. She won't let go of the children for a second goodbye and when the baby age two has been sleeping would rather I put her on the ground, signalling like a refferee ,rather then takde her direcltly from me . On those occassions when it looked like i might enter the front porch she has stood on the steps waving her arms, similar to an air traffic controller might at Pearson INternational. If you are laughing trust me it is not funny.
My son has become distant at best when he is with me ,"worrying about mommy" a thought I'm sure she has planted.Lately he has been telling me how his grandmother , mother and , friends of his mother do not like me.This would be humorous if it wasn't coming from a three year old little boy who hardly has the vocabulary and speech to come up with such thoughts.
His stuttering has worsened, although his free speech eg. identifying pictures from flash cards seems to be normal, maybe even advanced for his age.
It is a constant struggle to get him to focus on us rather then his idol the TV.
Although I have asked my ex to call at the dinner hour (5pm) when I have weekend visitation , she insists on calling at 7pm , his bed time, and a provision of our court order, . Unfortuneately whatever she says cranks him up to the point that it will be 10pm before he goes to sleep , and usually in tears. Obviously this makes for a fun wow visit.
I'm suggesting that not only is he having trouble with the transition of the divorce/seperation but quite possibly being subtley manipulated by his mother in what is amounting to a major problem for the two of us.
I love my son passionately, I would give my life for him at a moments notice and I know I'm a ggod father. But that is not enough when your son has his arms around you as on Christmas day and says Daddy , I don't love you. I laughed it off and said Erik who would say such a silly thing about you and daddy.His reply " Auntie Cathy" ...my ex's best friend.
So gang I need your help. Is alienation taking place or am I just stressed out and over sensitive. I am going to partake in some counselling for Erik starting in the next few week ( and myself ) but I think the problem is deeper then this and I shudder at the consequences as most likely my ex and her friends will not give up easily.

Brokendad