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Old 10-30-2006, 11:21 AM
ifeelduped ifeelduped is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2006
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Default Thanks, some "real" questions now...

Thanks for your help.

I have the following questions:

1. What about the 230k equity I used to invest from my first home (where I had sole title) into the new home with joint title? Should this equity I invested not be mine alone?

2. What about the fact that she had a child without my consent when we were apart? Does my suspicion that she got pregnant on purpose as a means of trapping me, mean anything?

3. Does the fact that we only "live" together 6-7 days a month due to my weekday travel have any bearing on our status? How about the fact that we do not sleep together? What constitutes a real relationship?

4. If I have no choice but to provide her some "winfall" in the form of my home equity, and support etc., can I agree to a single lump some amount with her and be done with it? I would like to have a single payment that would take everything into consideration (home equity, child support, spousal support, etc.) and never have to deal with her again financially.

5. If this went to court would a judge take anytime to examine the circumstances to assess whether her purposeful pregnancy when we were apart, was her attempt to trap me into a relationship and long-term financial support? I got a vasectomy a few months after she got pregnant since I was so freaked out by what had happened. Also, would the judge care that I told her many times that I did not want anymore children?

6. Finally, I had a difficult separation from my marriage when I was young and was always nervous about a repeat performance and its impact on me financially again. Whenever I discussed this with my current partner, she insisted she was not like that and stated "I do not want your money" and "I never wanted your money". In a court of law under oath if she admitted saying this, does it have any bearing on spousal support or division of property?

Thanks again. I believe that these divorce laws are made so that people get treated fairly and no one gets "shafted". But under the circumstances, I cannot imagine how the letter of the law can be applied here when there is such a major imbalance in the fairness. I tried to do the "right" thing and provide a home for her and the new baby that I did not want. I could have easily walked away five years ago but did not. Now, that my "home" life is miserable, I am on the hook for a small fortune and I must give it to someone who does not love me or has not acted like my partner for the last 3-4 years.

Every fibre in my being tells me this is wrong, and that the justice system is going to fail me.