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Old 03-21-2017, 12:26 PM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
We have exhausted our resources (parental counseling, 2 mediation agreements not followed, several counselors for child whom she would not open up to, CAS continuous involvement).
What do you mean "exhausted our resources"? Do you mean run out of money?

I have a concern when a parent says that their child will not "open up to" counselors. Generally, for a child who is 10 the sessions with a properly trained psychologist/psychiatrist will be done mostly in private between the child and the clinician. Parents are generally not in the room for the entire visit. (Unless it is reunification counseling or some other specialized practice.)

So in absence of the information, I can only assume that you are not in the room and are making this broad assumption. The clinician will want the child's input and not the parent's perspective on what they "believe" is happening.

It takes a long time for clinicians to establish a trusted relationship with children. So don't expect things to happen quickly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
Child has admitted that Dad is punishing her whenever she tells counsellor/assessor that he is coaching her, punishing her etc.
Admitted to whom? To you? You stated above that the child won't "open up". Hence the question.

Often will tell a parent what they think the parent wants to hear. Even if it isn't truthful. They tell the parents things because the onslaught of questions about the other parent will quickly end. Even if it isn't the best way to end the conversation. Getting out of an anxious situation is the goal for the child. I am not saying this *is* happening. But, it is worth assessing if this is happening.


Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
Parental conflict continues, most recently with him refusing to pay increase in CS for 6 months (finally paid when he realized how bad that would look to a judge)
Again, this has nothing to do with the child in the matter. The child should not be aware of this conflict at all.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
constant threats to take me back to court.
Again, this doesn't involve the child. Also, if you have a final order in hand you should /ignore this stuff.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
my child is too scared to tell anyone the truth.
"the truth" or "your version of what you think the truth is" -- You need to determine which it is. (See above.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
what exactly will the OCL look for to accept involvement?
They generally need a clinical reason to become involved. (Or a really good reason.) Parental conflict is generally not enough. Hearsay from a parent in an affidavit that says the child told me this/told me that etc... won't work. You need the current clinical professional working with your daughter to raise a concern that would point to the need to have an assessment. Failing grades, extreme anxiety, depression, etc...


Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
I need to know what to write into the affadavit as I have mountains of evidence.
Is it good evidence though. Most people don't understand the rules of evidence. Hearsay and belief are not evidence. The best evidence you can get is from an independent third party - like the clinician treating your daughter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
Can they assign both a lawyer and an assessor?
For your situation, you would need a clinical assessment I think.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
How much attention will they pay to CAS records, counselors already involved?
Significant attention. They would interview and reivew all the records.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
If I had a recording of my child talking about the dad's coaching and punishment, would they even consider it?
NO! In fact, that would would get you in a lot of trouble. You should never be interviewing your child about what happens at the other parent's place and you should not be taping it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
Thanks..I need to know where to start. the overwhelm is real
You start with retaining a lawyer.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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