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Old 09-03-2019, 03:52 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Originally Posted by OpenSesame View Post

If you don't mind my asking, why doesn't the father have more access in your case? Is there a specific reason? Personal question I know.. obviously don't have to answer if you're not comfortable, I'm just curious and trying to understand your perspective.

Also thank you for the recommendations!!
It's okay- my history is all in my posts on this forum. Probably to my detriment as it sometimes makes me a target of some of the posters on this board.

My daughter's father has anger management issues, is the kind way to put it. It was mostly directed at me during the marriage. But after our D3 was born, he sometimes put his anger above her well being. The day we separated- shit hit the fan, and he made a very specific and horrible threat of violence against our daughter. And me. And just generally did some screwy shit. Criminal charges followed. He says it was his wakeup call. I hope it was.

Since then- we've gone through the litigation process- but settled with the help of our lawyers, and a good coparent therapist, who is trained in domestic violence, to work on a plan that ensures D3 gets parenting time with both parents- while affording me some reasonable protections. That's how I got sole custody- but even then there are a lot of provisions in our final order to ensure he gets consulted on decisions related to D3's health and education. I just have final say if we can't agree.

Ex is working up to EOW- from Friday after school to drop off at school Monday morning. And Wednesday - Thursday overnights (from school to school). When she's 6, we'll meet again with our PC.

If you feel judgment coming from me- it's because it is.

Your situation kind of feels like dad has someone to help with kids (you)- and has some sellers regret (cause the first agreement is him taking the easy out) and now wants more time with kids as they're easier to take care of.

But even if that's true or not- if dad isn't a safety risk and can take care of the kids- he should absolutely get more time with his kids- regardless of his motivations.

But I'm with Janus- I don't think you guys are getting it outside of litigation. If you want to save the legal fees- get a good PC to convince mom to work up to the EOW + 1 midweek. With a hard date on when you guys can reassess custody and access WITHOUT a material change in circumstances. If dad has been a great dad and the kids are okay- mom would have a hella hard time proving that he shouldn't have shared custody 50/50.
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