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Old 09-03-2019, 01:13 PM
OpenSesame OpenSesame is offline
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Originally Posted by Janus View Post
The mother is not open to 50/50, she is stalling. She will never voluntarily give 50/50. The only way you are getting 50/50 is in court.

You do not need a parenting coordinator. You have nothing to coordinate. You are about to have a war with the mother, or you are about to concede completely and watch the kids fade out of your partner's life.
I wholeheartedly agree. She's just stalling. Is it a war he can win though?

If an agreement is financially unfair, then it can be thrown out. Money can be redistributed.
It is financially unfair. At least that is his opinion. His lawyer agrees. Even his ex's lawyer acknowledges so.. I think it's safe to say that section will be set aside.

Kids though are heavily governed by status quo and best interests. Your partner currently has 0% overnights.
She has actually just capitulated and they are now moving to a new schedule which is 3:30p - 7p on Wednesdays (an extension of 1.5h) and Friday from 3:30p overnight to Saturday at 7p which now adds an overnight and increases his visit to include a third day (previously just one day on the weekend from 8:30a-7p). She did this on instruction from her lawyer that if she went to court over the overnights she would lose.

Is best interests not governed by the principle of "maximum contact"? Somewhere along this journey that came up so I have been operating under the assumption that the courts believe it is in the best interests of the children to maximize contact with both parents, so long as there is no impediment (i.e. they're both good citizens, live reasonably close, etc.). Am I wrong in thinking that?

Resend your proposal, but make it over the next two years instead of the next four months.
Personally (as a mother myself) I thought the schedule was a bit aggressive although I agree with you that children are extremely adaptable. My gut feeling is that the most important part of any transition is exercising it with confidence (i.e. if it's clear mom or dad is unhappy they can make it more difficult for the children by charging the situation).

He is getting a new lawyer so at this point I don't think we'll be sending anything but I will definitely make the suggestion to revise the schedule. The first lawyer was nice but hasn't been able to give any clear direction about anything. Soon as she talks us into one path she starts talking us out of it... maybe that's just lawyers for you!
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