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Old 08-06-2010, 02:22 PM
mamabear23 mamabear23 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
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If you can't afford a lawyer, I would think it might be worth trying to represent yourself on this matter as it seems extremely obvious.

You share custody with HIM, not HER or the HOUSE they live in for pete's sake. If he is going to be away, there should be NO reason why you should have to send them. If they want to go, I suppose that's one thing to consider. Wouldn't he want "make-up" time with them when he goes out of town anyway?

And unless SHE has an agreement with YOU to take them out of the country she should not be able to. Border patrol really didn't do their job on that one. If they were younger, what would stop her from taking them and never coming back? It happens!!

I took my kids on a road trip to see my sister in Montana. I had a notatarized letter from their dad (we have no other documentation as we've never been to court). Their birth certificates proved I was their mother even though we had different surnames. At the time, passports were not required for ground travel...

The border officer gave me the third degree about where I was going, who I was seeing, what my ex does for a living, etc...THEN he gave the KIDS the third degree, asking them if their dad knows I'm taking them out of the country, and if they wanted to be with me, etc! I don't think he wanted to let us in, but decided he didn't have enough evidence to stop us!!

But, I thought if that's what they do to keep kids from being abducted then I don't mind at all. But WOW... I can't believe your children's stepmother could take them without such a hassle!! Maybe because they have the same last name?? Even then, their birth certificates would show she is not their mother...that is scary! Your kids are a bit older, so can you explain to them that she does not have permission to take them across the border? If she wants to take them somewhere, she can PAY for a notarized letter of permission from you. Unbelievable!

BonusMom...there is a big difference between encouraging the kids to look at various options, and belittling what they choose...most of us 'bio-moms' don't mind input from a 'bonus mom' (I like that) or suggestions even.
But when it is condescending to the child, it isn't welcome...but, you sound like a positive influence on your stepchild(ren). Of course sometimes it goes the other way around where the bio-mom is belittling the bonus-mom's suggestions, which is equally wrong...