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Old 02-03-2017, 09:00 AM
e28makaveli e28makaveli is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 49
e28makaveli has a little shameless behaviour in the past
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
You are indeed missing something. You think that the family justice system is fair, it is not.

As a father, there is an assumption that you are not the primary parent. There is a further assumption that you do not want to be the primary parent, and that if you say you want shared custody, you are only saying that to reduce your child support obligations.

To get shared custody as a father, you have to be perfect. That means, among other things, that you use 100% of the parenting time that you have with your children.

You are about to leave for an entire month. That screams to the courts that you are not a primary parent. This is not a surprise, since as a father they already knew that. You just confirmed their stereotypes. Even worse mom had to step in to fix the mess you made. Not only are you a lousy parent, but she is the real parent who does the parenting.
Some good realities, and thanks for this. Points well taken.

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It gets bleaker. Your kids are 90 minutes away. Sometimes the weather is bad and you don't want to drive. Sometimes they have birthday parties with a friend, and they don't want to miss it, so you miss that weekend. Soon every other weekend becomes once a month. You have less in common with them. It becomes harder to justify making the trip when they don't really want to see you as much either. Mom has a new boyfriend, and he's around a lot more than you. When they are having a hard time in school, they ask the boyfriend for help, because you're not around. When they need help bringing that heavy project to school, you're not the one doing it.
Points well taken.

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Soon you only start seeing the kids on holidays. Then they grow up, go to university. You see them graduate, and wish you could have been part of their lives.
Points taken but perhaps this is not the case. Again, you cannot make all these arguments based on a single incident. Also, if she did not practice child alienation such as withdrawing the kids from school when I drive down there, perhaps, i get to spend more time with them. I get the point of appearing perfect in the eyes of the courts. Points well taken there.

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...but at least you have your awesome job.
Without it, no child support I would argue. There's some benefit here.


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You take month long trips, that alone means that you cannot be the primary parent.
Well again, a single incident does not equate to habit.
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