Compensation for schedule changes - advice please

[billm]

Hi,

Can I please have your opinion or recommendations for the following?

Situation is shared 50/50 custody of 3 kids under 13, all going to full time school. Normal schedule is 2 days with one parent, 2 with other, alternating weekends. SS and CS is being paid. Parents - one has flexible self employed job, the other has shift work, sometimes 12 hours, sometimes nights, and picking up extra shifts can be done but takes time to do so.

What is fair in the case where one parent requests that other watch the kids for a week with respect to compensating the parent watching the kids for time lost from being able to work?

Does it matter if the week is for business or pleasure?

Does it matter if one parent makes more money than the other?

What if the week is shortly followed by a week where the other parent also requests a week without the kids?

How much, if any, should the compensation be and how to calculate it?

Please consider as many situations as possible and the different types of employment of the parents if you think it is relevant. Some of you may know which parent I am, but I am just looking for a fair, workable, and simple (hopefully) answer please.

Thanks!

[mominont]

For what its worth..

I think its very hard to determine a figure...I don't think it should make a difference if its for business or pleasure. I think all parents deserve some pleasure.

The parent that has the flexible working schedule, should be able to get a fulls day work in and not have any loss of income, if they work a normal 8 hr day.

The parent that is a shift worker and covering for the away parent should at least have their child care reinbursed if needed especially on a 12hr shift.

Maybe the parent that is away give the other parent an extra couple hundred dollars for incidentals (extra food, gas, etc). However their monthly bills are not going to go up that much - mortgage, car payment - get the idea.

Like that commerical - getting to spend time with your kids - priceless..very hard to put a dollar figure on it..

Mominon

[Foredeck]

I am in a similar situation, I have a steady 8 to 5 job, week-end offs plus I make about double what my ex makes. She works every second week-end.

Also, my parents are nearby, so they babysit about once a week, and bail both of us out on a regular basis.

I considered charging her for "babysitting" my daughter, however, like was said, time with my daughter is priceless. Also, if I would charge her say 20$ per extra day, she might get mad and hire a babysitter or find someone else. I've taken vacation around my daughter's daycare schedule and my ex's schedule.

Also, I realized that if I did it, it was mostly for revenge/personal reasons. And, I think you should do what ever is best for your kids.

What comes around, goes around. My ex needs a babysitter these days because of her job, and I have to be flexible. I've cancelled plans to help her out. However, in the future, I might have to travel for work, or I might be in a bind. It'll all even out in the future.

We have yet to have to call in sick to take care of her, and it hasn't really affected either of our job. So, not sure if that would change matters.