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  • Thumbing your nose at the court system

    My ex has zero regard for the court system or court orders. I left the marriage three years ago, and I'm still not done. Our issues that remain are all financial (custody was already done a year ago).

    My ex absolutely refuses to providefinancial disclosure. He has been court ordered to provide a very detailed list of disclosure, because he was caught lying so many times in court. It took two years for him to provide my lawyer with just his 2011 tax return (finally provided it the day before court).

    He was slapped with a total of $4500 in costs over several court appearances, which he refused to pay for over a year (finally did the day before court). He's just being a complete jerk......stopped paying my kids' RESPs after he said he would continue paying (they are now several thousand in arrears), he was being garnished through FRO, but now he opted out of his salaried position with a very large, well known North American company, to work under contract, under a company name of his own, with his own employee being him, so his pay stopped being garnished six months ago. As a result, his support payments through FRO have been inconsistent and he's stopped paying anything towards his arrears.

    We filed a motion of contempt because of his non-compliance with court orders regarding financial disclosure. He was found guilty, and was ordered to pay a $5000 penalty, and was ordered again to provide all disclosure within 30 days. The 30 days passed and he hasn't provided the info or the $5000. We filed a motion to strike his pleadings, and they were struck. The judge chewed him out and called him a liar. Said the other judges should have ended this long ago.

    So now he's making over $100,000 a year, pays support when it's convenient to him, has refused to pay any extra expenses (he was only paying for my son's sport activity and stopped that as well). I've had to pay for my son's braces, my daughter's retainer, and all other expenses. He refuses to provide disclosure, he refuses to help with medical expenses, he refuses to pay court ordered costs and penalties.

    We are filing for an uncontested trial now, but my question is....how is anything enforced? How can he keep skipping through they system, ignoring court orders, ignoring the fact that his kids deserve his financial help? You can't be in contempt for financial issues, so how will he ever be forced to comply with all these orders?

    So even if the trial outcome is that he has to pay X amount monthly and for X amount for section 7s, he won't pay. I can't keep all this up on my own, and shouldn't have to. Does anyone know what can be done with people like this? Are there really no punishments for people who continue to ignore court orders?

  • #2
    Originally posted by KMF View Post
    My ex has zero regard for the court system or court orders. I left the marriage three years ago, and I'm still not done. Our issues that remain are all financial (custody was already done a year ago).

    My ex absolutely refuses to providefinancial disclosure. He has been court ordered to provide a very detailed list of disclosure, because he was caught lying so many times in court. It took two years for him to provide my lawyer with just his 2011 tax return (finally provided it the day before court).

    He was slapped with a total of $4500 in costs over several court appearances, which he refused to pay for over a year (finally did the day before court). He's just being a complete jerk......stopped paying my kids' RESPs after he said he would continue paying (they are now several thousand in arrears), he was being garnished through FRO, but now he opted out of his salaried position with a very large, well known North American company, to work under contract, under a company name of his own, with his own employee being him, so his pay stopped being garnished six months ago. As a result, his support payments through FRO have been inconsistent and he's stopped paying anything towards his arrears.

    We filed a motion of contempt because of his non-compliance with court orders regarding financial disclosure. He was found guilty, and was ordered to pay a $5000 penalty, and was ordered again to provide all disclosure within 30 days. The 30 days passed and he hasn't provided the info or the $5000. We filed a motion to strike his pleadings, and they were struck. The judge chewed him out and called him a liar. Said the other judges should have ended this long ago.

    So now he's making over $100,000 a year, pays support when it's convenient to him, has refused to pay any extra expenses (he was only paying for my son's sport activity and stopped that as well). I've had to pay for my son's braces, my daughter's retainer, and all other expenses. He refuses to provide disclosure, he refuses to help with medical expenses, he refuses to pay court ordered costs and penalties.

    We are filing for an uncontested trial now, but my question is....how is anything enforced? How can he keep skipping through they system, ignoring court orders, ignoring the fact that his kids deserve his financial help? You can't be in contempt for financial issues, so how will he ever be forced to comply with all these orders?

    So even if the trial outcome is that he has to pay X amount monthly and for X amount for section 7s, he won't pay. I can't keep all this up on my own, and shouldn't have to. Does anyone know what can be done with people like this? Are there really no punishments for people who continue to ignore court orders?
    Is you order with FRO? They can garnish his wages, deny his driver's license renewal.

    Comment


    • #3
      They were garnishing, but the employer stopped, even though he's still working for them in the position. A federal notice went out saying any refund he gets is to be garnished. They sent a notice of writ of seizure a year ago. Nothing bothers him. I don't know why they haven't suspended his passport or driver's license. He'd likely just drive without it anyhow. He's been caught driving with a suspended license in the past. He honestly has no regard for the law and it's really frustrating and tiring.

      Comment


      • #4
        1. Do you have a job?
        2. Good for him any man who makes any money and walks into the court system is like lambs to slaughter!

        Comment


        • #5
          1. Yes
          2. Nice attitude. How lucky your children are.

          Comment


          • #6
            My spouse doesn't work and she has my kids most of the time and I give her more than 50% of my income to support them besides the fact I paid 95% of my income for an entire year and I've been ordered to pay all her legal expenses and pre-marital debts all because she refuses to work and the sharks smell blood.

            I was a lamb to slaughter

            Comment


            • #7
              So, because you got screwed, my kids should? I am happy to pay my share of what needs to be paid, but I should NOT be paying all of it. I have complied with every order and met every deadline. I have have complied with custody and access, despite the fact that he's an idiotic, abusive parent, because I'm told I have no choice. So I really don't think that I'm asking too much, to have him contribute even half of the extra expenses, when he makes 5 times what I do in a year. If he hadn't tried avoiding having his wages garnished, he'd still have benefits and these medical expenses would have been free. He made a choice, now he has to pay what he owes.

              For the record, he put me in debt, he put my mother in debt when she just tried to help him, and he's stolen from his own children. If you want to applaud that kind of behaviour, it speaks volumes about your character.

              Comment


              • #8
                When men play by the rules they get screwed, if they didn't they'd play more often.

                If he makes 100,000k and you make 20k, I bet you wanted spousal support too and full CS. How much do you think that would cost him + special expenses. Now you might say differently because you'd be happy for just a little but the reality is that if he went a long they'd eat him for lunch. If the system was fair, I wouldn't agree but it isn't fair, it takes a huge amount of effort for men to stand up against it and you never really "win" except for in the case of custody, there are no financial victories for men in divorce its just various degrees of financial loss (to underemployed spouses).
                Last edited by Links17; 11-25-2013, 04:22 PM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I was a lamb to slaughter
                  You're still a lamb to slaughter. You are a whiny, victimized, misogynist who applies generalizations to everyone else's experience because you failed in bringing your own divorce action to reasonable closure.

                  Instead of manning-up and learning from your mistakes...then picking yourself up and figuring out how to lead a happy, optimistic life...you walk around with a chip the size of Texas on your shoulder. You are clueless about how tragic you seem. You're angry and bitter and can't move on.

                  If you think this hurts anyone but you, you're a even bigger fool.

                  Unless you're gay and can find another beaten corpse of a man to have a romantic relationship with...you have no hope with women. Women can see an empty, bitter shell coming a mile away.

                  You remind me of how thankful I am that I made it out of my horrific marriage and through divorce without ending up as damaged as you are. How sad that you gave your ex the power to ruin the rest of your life. I guess in your case, she really did win.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Oh, let me weep for him. He came to this country in debt, which I had pay off with my RRSP money. He controlled all the money, put us $60,000 in debt. My mother bought a house for us to share with her, he put on a big sob story about how he needed to be on title and feel like a man. My mother ended up having to pay the mortgage and property taxes because I couldn't handle all the calls from the collectors. He ran up a $12,000 credit card debt with a card I had no idea he had, and I got stuck paying half that bill in the end.

                    He steals, he lies, he cheats, he's abusive, he steals from his own kids. Oh no....I expect him to pay out what he actually owes. I'm so sorry that his brand new car and two motorcycles aren't enough for him. I"m sorry our children have bad teeth that need to be repaired. I should just let them suffer with bad eyes and bad teeth, just so he can continue living a life in debt that HE puts himself in. Damn kids go and spoil all the fun.

                    At least they have one responsible, loving parent. Poor, poor man. Maybe the two of you can share a box of kleenex since you'll both need it....for your tears of course.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      So, because you got screwed, my kids should?
                      KMF: There's the occasional hate-filled misogynist on the forum....you generally should just disregard them. You definitely should keep working on enforcing what your children are owed.

                      A lot of people have been through blatant disregard of support orders but just keep working it with FRO. The good thing about them is that they have a lot of leeway at their disposal to garnish wages, to seize tax returns and licences...and in the worse case, to potentially seize property. Unfortunately, its not a quick process...it takes time.

                      Get in touch with your case worker...use your case number and see what action they're planning to take. Stay on top of it and make calls at least once per week.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Thank you so much for your respectful reply. I have a really good case worker, so when I need help retrieving my support on any given month, he's right on it. Unfortunately, they change up your case worker now and then, so it's luck of the draw.

                        I know I shouldn't have replied to the previous woman hater, but idiot generalizations piss me off. All I really want, is help caring for my kids financially, because my ex is completely incapable of caring for them emotionally.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I didn't mean to generalize against women.... I meant to speak in terms of payors and recipients (most articles just use he and she because of the overwhelming realities involved).

                          Everybody has the ethical obligation to support their children to the best of their ability.

                          The system however isn't structured fairly so if you happen to play according to the rules then you don't get a fair outcome generally (as a payor).

                          Maybe you can come to an agreement with him to make an automated payment since it seem you are able to get some Child support sometimes? Maybe it is a logistical issue or he wants to support his children but not at the levels the government deems necessary - at least you will get him to pay some?

                          Have you considered showing him the expenses of raising the children for a month (including electricity, housing etc....) and asking him to "man-up" as PH so intelligently put it?

                          He is paying something so he must agree on some level to support the kids he just might not realize the actual cost?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            He knows what the expenses are, he just expects other people to pay for his kids. He actually tried telling the judge that since I live with my mother, she can help me with the kids.

                            He skipped the country with his first child, and stopped paying him child support as well. He feels the world owes him. He is a classic narcissist.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              KMF you can put anyone on an "ignore" list on this forum.

                              Pursuing Happiness is right on.

                              Keep working with FRO. Your ex is self-employed and the former employer, regardless if he is a now a contract employee with his own business, is obligated to adhere to FRO. Did you know that FRO can make that employer 100% responsible for the whole support debt? They have alot of clout and collection is free. My advice to you is to work with them and provide them with all the information you can - inundate them with information to help their collection actions.

                              Negotiation is now between him and FRO.

                              Comment

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