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Old 02-18-2021, 11:35 AM
Nadia Nadia is offline
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Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Most non custodial parents who don�t have any contact for months and then suddenly show up have a trigger factor involved. It could be a desire to reduce child support, a refusal of parenting time, missed calls or a resurfacing from some other aspect. There have been enough posts on here to see that some non custodial parents have a motive behind your behaviours. Which is why I asked what changed to cause him to flex.

You did get notice as your son called you. It�s not like you were sitting wondering where he was. Was it fair? No. Do I agree with dad for pulling the stunt? No. Do I agree that you should make a big deal out of it and call dad out? No. You could send him a quick email and just say hey could you let me know the next time as you threw us both off. And leave it at that. If the child was younger then it would warrant a bigger response but in this case it doesn�t.

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As I explained above the only thing that changed was my refusal for grandparents to visit. There has been no other trigger. To be honest this would have been enough. For the sake of our son, I’ve gone out my way to maintain a relationship with the grandparents. They did all the driving back and forth for two years off alternative weekends. They preferred to drop him off on Sunday evenings instead of Mondays. They always touched base with me evening before they picked up from school. So that became the norm. No midweek pickup whatsoever.

But fair enough. I did just that (email dad with a professional note - asking him to just let me know next time) and leave it at that.

Hopefully there weren’t be a time when both of us turn up at the same time. For example today the kid has an orthodontist appointment immediately after school dismissal. Is dad planning on turning up? Should I assume he can turn up at any time as he wishes? Should dad turn up unannounced today, do i then just pay the no show fee at the Orthodontist?

Is he picking the child up consistently every Wednesday? Should I not schedule anything between 3pm and 6.30 everyday just in case he decides this is the day he would like to see his son? Even though we have a family order in place with specific days/times? Does it work the other way too? What if the son doesn’t want to go and prefers to spend time with his friends?

I totally understand the whole piece of son being 14 and has the right to spend his time as he wishes. But just trying to figure out the day to day stuff.

Thank you for the feedback.

Last edited by Nadia; 02-18-2021 at 12:14 PM.
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