Hello Folks:
I could really use the forum's collective input/wisdom/advice on my situation. I'll try to keep it brief lol....
-2 children ages 9 and 12. I have no concerns that my wife was/is a good mother; I traditionally put in a lot of hours at work to support the family since she preferred to stay at home with the kids rather than work outside the home. I do have flexibility on my hours and my parents live in the same town, are in good health, and happy to help me with daycare from after school to dinnertime
-we are both doing are best to keep things amicable but things are obviously stressful
-my wife had some reservations but initially led me to believe she was fine with 50/50 custody. However, after the lawyers's meeting she now wants to restrict me to the "traditional" every Wed night and every other weekend.
-if things go as planned, we'll have separate homes about a 15 min walk apart in same school district as my kids.
-Yes, obviously its a change for the children and in fairness she has been "primary" caregiver BUT the kids are old enough now they don't need their mother as much (ie. vs newborns and under 3 years old). I"m confident we can both make this work for the kids.
-I feel strongly about having access to my kids 50% of the time and don't feel Im' being unreasonable.
-by the way, in case some think this is only about "money"; I make much more than she does (and likely will stay that way) so even with the CS "offset" I"ll likely only save about 20% from "full" CS anyway. This is about being fair that we both have equal access to OUR children.
-anyway, neither one of us wants this to turn into a long, expensive, ugly "war" and go to court over child custody.
-quite frankly, I honestly don't see the difference one more night a week would have on the kids. If I'm good enough for every other wkend and one nite per week, why not two nites per week ?
-anyway, after speaking, she agreed that she would be agreeable to go from the "traditional" (ie. 35%) child accesss TO 50% access after about one year and would be willing to put this in the SA.
MY QUESTION.....
-my understanding is that "status quo" locks in after about 6 months. So, my fear is that IF she changes her mind after one year, even if the SA said we then have 50% access each, COULD the courts refuse to enforce the SA of 50% under the "status quo" guideline.
-of course, I'm asking my lawyer but quite frankly I find the info on here tends to be very valuable and I would very much like to hear comments. Has anyone done this ? That is, a "lagged" 50% child custody.
This is really important to me. I don't want all hell to break loose but I don't want to lose equal access to my kids. I'm not keen on having to wait one year for full 50% access but if that what it takes, I guess I can live with it. BUT, I need to know FOR SURE that such an agreement would be enforced by the courts (if needed) when the one year rolls around.
Any help would be most appreciated !
I could really use the forum's collective input/wisdom/advice on my situation. I'll try to keep it brief lol....
-2 children ages 9 and 12. I have no concerns that my wife was/is a good mother; I traditionally put in a lot of hours at work to support the family since she preferred to stay at home with the kids rather than work outside the home. I do have flexibility on my hours and my parents live in the same town, are in good health, and happy to help me with daycare from after school to dinnertime
-we are both doing are best to keep things amicable but things are obviously stressful
-my wife had some reservations but initially led me to believe she was fine with 50/50 custody. However, after the lawyers's meeting she now wants to restrict me to the "traditional" every Wed night and every other weekend.
-if things go as planned, we'll have separate homes about a 15 min walk apart in same school district as my kids.
-Yes, obviously its a change for the children and in fairness she has been "primary" caregiver BUT the kids are old enough now they don't need their mother as much (ie. vs newborns and under 3 years old). I"m confident we can both make this work for the kids.
-I feel strongly about having access to my kids 50% of the time and don't feel Im' being unreasonable.
-by the way, in case some think this is only about "money"; I make much more than she does (and likely will stay that way) so even with the CS "offset" I"ll likely only save about 20% from "full" CS anyway. This is about being fair that we both have equal access to OUR children.
-anyway, neither one of us wants this to turn into a long, expensive, ugly "war" and go to court over child custody.
-quite frankly, I honestly don't see the difference one more night a week would have on the kids. If I'm good enough for every other wkend and one nite per week, why not two nites per week ?
-anyway, after speaking, she agreed that she would be agreeable to go from the "traditional" (ie. 35%) child accesss TO 50% access after about one year and would be willing to put this in the SA.
MY QUESTION.....
-my understanding is that "status quo" locks in after about 6 months. So, my fear is that IF she changes her mind after one year, even if the SA said we then have 50% access each, COULD the courts refuse to enforce the SA of 50% under the "status quo" guideline.
-of course, I'm asking my lawyer but quite frankly I find the info on here tends to be very valuable and I would very much like to hear comments. Has anyone done this ? That is, a "lagged" 50% child custody.
This is really important to me. I don't want all hell to break loose but I don't want to lose equal access to my kids. I'm not keen on having to wait one year for full 50% access but if that what it takes, I guess I can live with it. BUT, I need to know FOR SURE that such an agreement would be enforced by the courts (if needed) when the one year rolls around.
Any help would be most appreciated !
Comment