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Old 01-03-2011, 10:42 AM
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Gary M Gary M is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Kanata
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Originally Posted by lorlaman View Post
Do the courts ever take into consideration the causes of the spousal breakdown?


The sad fact is that it's pretty much black-and-white and based on formulae, tables, and history.

My situation is pretty close to your own and I am fighting the fight of my life right now just to keep my house. Both children live with me 100% of the time and they have visited her only twice in 2 years (I paid 100% of the travel costs both times).

My ex moved 3 provinces away, lives in a house her parents bought her (at first she was living with them, at 52 years old (!)), drives a car her parents bought her, and refuses to work beyond getting, then quitting, part-time, min-wage jobs. She hasn't paid a single nickel in CS or helped at all with the childrens' GINORMOUS medical/dental expenses, but is happily using her lawyer (yes, you guessed it: funded by her parents) to "negotiate" a change to our SA... She wants more SS, and for longer. Oh, and more of my pension (she's already getting $150K).

I had saved up about $16K to pay for oral/facial (maxilliary) surgery and braces my son needs, but that's gone to FRO and lawyers. I am starting to sell what few personal belongings I have left (I forgot to mention that she took the entire contents of the house with her when her family came out and helped her drive a big U-Haul full of everything I had bought in 16 years of marriage back to SK) to cover mounting legal fees.

The (sad) fact is that NONE of that matters. Some dusty old book somewhere says she's "entitled" to SS despite the fact that I am the sole parent and just getting by while trying to give my kids the best possible shot at a decent future. In essence, the law says that she can take money from them.

Now, I understand that in normal circumstances, this is so that children can enjoy a similar standard of living in both houses. I get that, and I support that notion. The reality for me, though, is that they've spent a grand total of 4 weeks in her house in 2 years. That's it, that's all. Again, we're talking about a house her parents bought and that is full of MY furniture... the standard of living is already equal, if not lopsided, and they spend NO time there.

This doesn't matter either.


All we can do, Brother, is suck it up and remind ourselves that every day above ground is a good day.

Oh, and we can cut loose on this forum when we need to

I have another week off work (damned government employees and their holidays!) and so had the pleasure of making pancakes for the kids this morning, spending an hour or so with them, and seeing them out the door to school. What an awesome life I have... I wouldn't trade this for anything.




Last edited by Gary M; 01-03-2011 at 10:45 AM.